well my mom beat me.
she told me if i died that would make her happy.
i believed her.
and when my parents fought my mom made me believe it was my fault.
then she showed me love.

im not kidding...
maybe that fucked me up?
im sure every1 has some kind of childhood thing that changed them.
think about it to yourself if you are an AFC...
and also reply if you have never had childhood trauma and are still an AFC cuz i wanna kno if thats possible...
prolly disney movies also add to it!

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"Man is the pupil, pain is his teacher."

this is your big excuse for not becoming something great

dont let the past define who you are in the present to jepordize your future

your in the driver seat when it comes to your life if you want to say well when i was little i had a truamatizing car crash and ive been scared ever since

take some courage and handle that fear

theirs an acronym for fear

F alse
E xpectations
A ppearing
R real

the coolest things in life is to face your fear only to realize its not that scary

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***]>U/<3***

Dont let this Limiting belief hold you down!

You are a Strong man u just need to BELIEVE it. You need to reframe and destroy this limiting belief!

Most limits and fears can be destroyed through simple logic, you just need to know how! heres where i come in

Just guna go pull out my NLP folder ROFL!

Firstly thing i can identify thats holding you down is: Your blaming your failures (better yet LEARNING EXPERIENCES) on your mother and ure trauma, dont worry its a common thing alot of people do. Just think about your life, you are in completely in charge. U are the ALPHA! You are letting the trauma hold you back by Believing that it does! Stop believing that it does and it will not. You are incharge of yourself not your mother.

Now this is a NLP method to remove and negate bad memories: i am no expert in problems like this, if you do not trust me then thats totally cool, seek proffesional help if u wish. Do give me chance tho this may help you if you do it right.

Turn off all music and get into a quiet area where u wont be disturbed.

Now Imagin you are in a cinema and you are the only one there. The screen infront of you is showing that bad memory of your mother beating you (or whatever you want). So you should be watching your memory. Next look down at your lap, there is a control board there, you need to really visualise it take your time and see every button.

Firstly eperiment with the memory as you would with a home made film. Rewind it, play it again.

Now i want you to Shrink the image and make it Further away from you. Watch it change size and shrink into the distance. Now it should be nice and small. Look at it carefully, now change the speed its playing. Have fun, make fun of this memory speed it up super fast and hear the voices of the memmory get super high pitched and funny! Watch and notice how humorous the movements of your mother and you are. Its a stupid movie which is rediculous! Rewind it and play it again and again in your head this fast stupid memory.

Now i want you to put a hat on your mom, imagin a giant banana hat that flops over to one side. Look at the colours and watch how funny the movements are of the hat in this super fast speed. Listen to her high pitch voice and ridicule how funny she looks!!

Now just start laughing out loud (i know this is wierd but it will actually make u laugh for real when u notice how stupid u probably look) Once u start laughing anchor yourself by slamming your fist on your chest. Feel the power you have over the situation, FEEL the power you have. Feel it grow inside you and feel the tingling feeling you have! At the same time keep watching the stupid video of your mother.

Now speed it up even more and add some Scuba goggles on her, she looks fucking stupid beating you with bananaa hat and a super chipmunk voice! HAHAHAHAHA

Now keep adding stupid things to you and her in the memory, imagin a BIG MASSIVE human sized dildo breakdancing in the background. ANything stupid! Just be creative!

Now on ure control board push the button to fuck with the lights! make it flash blue, red, green, yellow whatever! ITS A DISCO!!! PARTYYY!!!@!$!!!!!

Now i want you to play this song fucking loud (in your head/outloud whatever) all the time while your memory is replaying over and over again. Watch how you sing the song to the camera while your memory is playing over and over fast and funny.

Now i want you to add stupid music,

Imagin your mouth suddenly opening and spice girls coming out blaring!!

TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY WANT!!
ILL TELL YOU WHAT I WANT WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT!
I WANA -A
I WANA -A
etc.

HAHAAHAHA NOW KEEP REPLAYING THIS AS LONG AS U WANT. KEEP MAKING IT MORE AN MORE REDICULOUS!



*************
This can be used for any bad memory u guys have, i findit very effective. If u learn to do this you can use it destroy any bad memory uve ever had. NLP is powerful stuff but dont get it wrong its fucking fun! Lol!

REMEMBER FIERCE! YOUR FIERCE YOUR A BEASTMANTHING! RAGHH!!!!
You eat abusive mothers for breakfast! VISUALIZE THAT!

WARNING: Dont do this to good memmorys you will ruin them lol.

Fidle around with this method you can use it to really do some amazing things.

Your friend, !Jam

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Ratio theroy...

Man, i suggest reading the "how to be ab alpha" by Carlos Xuma, it will help

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We haven't sailed the most beautiful sea yet

Nazim Hikmet

damn i gotta say im sorry to hear all that I was in a similar situation except this involved my dad when I was younger my dad was a drunk that would beat my entireley family everyone feared him
tell yourself this everytime she pops into your head
"Each step I take is a step I will walk away from you. Each action I do, I will do for me and against you. I follow the path headed in the opposite direction and your nothing but dog crap (or gum) I happened to step on along the way. I took off my shoes leaving you to rot in your filth. I lost my old shadow and I'm heading towards my new one. (important to picture your shadow leaving you taking every negative thought with it.)

sorry its late hope it helps

http://youtube.com/watch?v=UlIrvu78NO0 helpful vid

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"RESPECT THE COCK AND TAME THE CUNT"

Listen to the suggestion that Chikito posted! When i was a kid, some little A-hole told me "No girl will ever give you the time of day"... That statement stuck with me for years. It was so hurtful and at the time i had very low self esteem which made matters worse. Eventually i learned about the technique of making fun of the bad memory, in a similar way that chikito posted. After a while the memory itself lost its power over me, and made me want to prove that guy wrong.

Years later that memory is still with me, but the only effect it has on me is that it makes me laugh because i can imagine the guy saying that in a funny voice while wearing a clown suit doing something stupid, lol

Chikito, I found that that technique works pretty good if your bored... lol.
If you have a boring office job, imagine your boss walking in with a dildo strapped to his head while singing "we are family" and maybe he starts breakdancing... rofl. anyways, i went to off topic.

This is a good NLP method for erasing bad memories. Props.

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afc-challenge-to-the-masters-social-anx ... 10108.html

The type of mind tricks posted in this thread might not help all, especially not after severe traumas. They didn't help me (except for 1 day reliefs), for example, so I will post here what I have had success with for a more permanent dealing with such things. The worst thing in my case (which made the trauma worse) was that I felt affection for the person that screwed me, which I also believe might be the case in your case (since it's a parent).

What I've done are the following points, which so far seem to have had promising effects:
1. after the trauma I've feared for a long time that I actually liked the very act of being screwed in itself, which I rationally didn't want to, and thus I suppressed myself. But when I now dare to confront my memory and analyze what I loved in that person, I know it was completely different things, and that makes me dare to feel affection better, and be more proud of it. See point 2.

2. make a clear distinction between what I hate/fear and what I don't hate/fear. Look positively on everything I don't hate/fear but that I previously was fooled into hating/fearing.

3. allow myself to hate/fear that which I hated, at least in the beginning of the rehabilitation process. Dare to have outbursts of hatred or going around with an angry face etc while dealing with the problem, as long as you don't do anything to hurt anyone you are allowed to look and be as angry as you want to. The anger won't help you in itself, but it's a good start in ending self-suppression. Good steps are:
a. allow anger/hatred, don't suppress your anger. This is a very easy step and is a good warmup for learning to stop self-suppression
b. categorize anger/hatred more clearly, stop suppressing your love/affections. This step is slightly harder, and takes several tries, between which you can fall back to point a. As point 2 above gets better, you will be able to stay in this position and move on.
c. channelize the anger in energy to use for success, and try to focus your work for success. Devise measurements of your success. The measurements should be such that you get at least one positive feedback each week. When you get better at getting what you want, change the nature of the measurement. At this state you will get flahsbacks and moments where you go back to point a and b and must work yourself back up to c again, but they will get more and more rare as you proceed. They will most often come at times when you have much stress/workload. Then react fast and asap take the time to move from point a to b to c again.

4. accept that while it may not be possible to totally eliminate the risk of it happening again, I can decrease the likelihood of it happening by among other things creating a good preparedness against it, without exaggerating the preparedness so much that it puts me back at the state of hatred and fear. In my case, I know the thing I fear takes long time to develop, and so I know if I only recognize it in time, I can escape. The same should hold in your case. The pitfall here is becoming too suspicious. I've gotten very suspicious and can't trust people easily, so how to decrease suspicion of other people I don't have that many tips about I'm afraid. Maybe a good idea could be to accept being screwed lightly to see that it isn't so bad after all, combined with doing "missions" to test at least some form of acceptance is a good idea. And accepting that most people these days are a bit hard on the surface even if not within. And that people will fear to screw you if you keep parts of yourself secret and stay reasonably distant to all (dare to have a private zone and answer "that's private" if people ask too close questions), so there's not too much fear of being screwed. Also, you can practise ways of "revenge", so you're not so afraid of losing a battle or someone making you embarrassed etc, because you know how to get back from it.

5. repeat all true positive facts about the trauma and myself to myself over and over again. Repeat over and over again all counter-proofs to the negative false statements which I'm driven to believe in because of fear. Those facts that are neutral (neither bad nor good) but which I have swept in under the hatred and begun hating, I will have to accept because I have to accept the truth, even if it's not entirely to my liking.

6. are there any risks of the problem continuing, say, if you live near/with the person who caused the trauma, is there a chance of moving away in a not too distant future?