Quote:
I would really like to start going out in the field to practice things that I've read. But when it comes to it I'm just terrified to even go out alone. I don't even get to the point where I have to approach someone.
When I go out with friends, we play games. We think of openers for eachother and point out girls that we have to approach. And when all my friends are watching me I have no problem opening someone, but that's just for having fun. I want to learn how to close.
My problem is that when I think about going out alone I get really demotivated and I really prefer to just be on my own all night. That's safe.
At one time I actually managed to push myself to go out alone. It was around 21.30 when I entered a nice pub. It was still early on in the evening so there were no more than 15 people. Maybe a group of friends, and a few groups of 2 (Male/female, female/female and male/male). I sat down at the bar, ordered a soda. At this point I felt really uncomfortable. I froze. Everything I managed to do was watch my phone, sending some messages and scrolling my Facebook wall. After I finished my coke I left and went home.
Any tips about pushing myself to go out? But most importantly, how I can get myself in a comfortable mood before going out?
Two ideas;
1) Change your state before going out, as others have suggested; go to the gym, rock out to your favourite music, watch comedy,
anything to change your physical state and positively influence your emotional energy. If you go out with low energy, you'll tend to receive low-energy (and appear to seek an energy-boost from others/be overly dependent on their response to you).
2) Go for activity-focused stuff via meetup. Having an exterior distraction for you and the girl you wish to approach diffuses awkwardness (a ready-made shared item/environment to talk about), and helps to take you out of your own head - especially if you're shy or on the more introverted side.
And finally .. pat yourself on the back for any small achievements. Becoming who you want to be is a play in progress, made up of lots of little steps
CHAT