I wonder if having an experience of a girl noticing and liking you so early in life has an effect on your self-esteem vs. those who don't have that experience until later.

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i went through a lot of crap in high school busted my confidence a bit, but who gives a dam about the past its all about the FUTURE and what u make of it

"Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it."

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ye sure u should learn from b4 ur experiences but what I'm saying is don't let the thought of u being bullied ages ago hinder ur chances in life if that makes sense

there is a lot of truth in this. I am myself a lover of history. I have lots of history books at home.
But I cannot live my life remembering in perpetuity the 12-year-old kid that lost his first love to the alpha classmate.

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nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)

while being a kid i was mocked 4-5 times a day by my classmates for being a fat kid... i've been also mocked for being too white as a kid (yeah counter-racism in israel) i really loved football (soccer) as a kid and everytime i was playing everybody told me i made the mistake because im fat... i was told to be a nerd since elementry school altough i was never intersted on school, other classmates were annoyed and jelous about my high natural grades while they were studying hard and still getting less than me...
i see all those bad experinces effect in different areas of my life, for example i always felt insecure when i was wearing short pants because people could see my legs which i thought was too white (and it's problemtic to wear long jeans at summer-time in israel...) after i lost weight i kept criticizing myself for being fat all the time, it made me feel AA at some point, i felt like a total beta because i was short and fat while my friends were skinny and tall and everytime they went to hit on some girls while we were 13-15 years old they never invited me...
I think you can imagine you're self-esteem as a notice board, every bad experience during your childhood or life is being sticked with a tack on your notice board and it covers and hides your true-self and your best-self, but while the time keeps on going and you are experiencing positive things, it fades away with your help, all the notices will be gone and you should'nt let any new bad experience to be sticked again.

Of course you can live remembering him. You just can't live while remaining him.

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For a long time, I remember breaking a bone in my foot on the jungle gym and i reached out for help but my friend looked at me and ran away and i was alone in the playground at the bell. During that time I made a limiting belief. It had been a confirmation that I was undesired and that followed me for many years.

thats why i said you should forget the past live the present and make a better future for yourself of course you should learn from the past

It's an interesting topic really as I think this community was built around the fact that we all started off with a poor self image.

My upbringing wasn't brilliant but it wasn't the worst. I had friends who had really poor upbringings that made them into solid alpha males. I don't mean the a**hole type. Very rounded individuals. I think it's about understanding why you had those experiences when you were younger. My limiting belief was based around psychological abuse by my parents and family members. Some physical but mainly psychological which I think is a lot more damaging in the long run. I was always told growing up that I didn't deserve anything and that I was worthless. My mother was a sadistic and my dad was such a control freak he didn't want to look bad so he continually called me stupid or thick. This lead to social anxiety.

I only realised later on in life. I was angry in my teens and 20's but not understanding why. I would drink and fight. I was an emotional wreck. I'm 30 now and I now know why they behaved the way they did. I moved away from that environment to go to university and it was a long journey of self discovery. My two brothers, on the other hand, did not and now they are suffering and are really messed up psychologically.

How I overcome this was hard at first. Those limiting beliefs are solid and you cannot help but agree with them (at first) as they are embedded. It was persistance really. I tried hypnosis, meditation and expanding my knowledge with books on psychology. This helped me understand why my parents said and did what they did. It was a vicious cycle from their upbringing that needed to stop. They had the best intentions but it did not help. I have spoken to them and I can see guilt in their eyes.

The big realisation that I had about the limiting beliefs was - 'they ARE not real'. they are other people projections. Their own insecurities and beliefs are projected on to you. The funny thing about limiting beliefs (for example) if you're told that you are ugly a lot you start to believe it and as your mind is so efficient it will automatically search for the times you were called ugly to support the belief - therefore reinforcing it. To stop this cycle try and remember the times you where given a compliment - "you look sharp today" - "you look so cute and sexy" - "do you know people really respect you?" (Paul McKenna) just by remembering these occasions or compliments you are destroying your limiting belief that you're ugly, dumb, stupid and worthless. You have to train your mind as you have been training your mind about your limiting beliefs for so many years leading up to this point.

Remember, limiting beliefs are faults. There is no such thing as absolute truth - good or bad - only subjective perceptive.

You have the power. Hope this helps. Just my two cent.

Childhood experiences fade as you get older. That's part of the maturing process of growing up and moving on. Who didn't get picked on or do something embarassing or have something awful happen to them as a child? I know I did. I know that everyone I know did. Some even got it MUCH worse than me.

You have to learn how to get past childhood trauma. Whether it's by seeking therapy, blocking it out entirely, or just dealing with it on your own terms and moving on. Reinvent yourself every single day. Don't just be the sum of your life experiences. A lot of those limiting beliefs have to do with "poor me" complexes and self-loathing, which are behavioral patterns we get stuck in.

There's a quote that says to remove the emotional hooks that keep you attached to painful situations. There's a lot of different ways to do that, but it's invariably unique from person to person. However, I'd say being your best self is pretty much a catch all statement that could be applied to any pua. Being your best self starts with letting go of the past and moving forward towards positive changes.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

I was thinking about my childhood experiences recently when I attempted the newbie challenge.

When I reached a certain age and started noticing girls I didn't hesitate to try and ask out the hottest girls in the class. The first one I asked said no but very nicely and the second one said yes but this was because a bunch of the lads in the class had talked to her and decided it would be funny for her to pretend to be my girlfriend.

I was devastated when I found out I'd been made a fool of, but still it proves that even at the earliest age, when you see what you want and you go for it, there will be people there trying to shoot you down.

I was thinking about this in relation to my feelings about rejection. I realised that I have difficulty in dealing with negative reactions from others, but that this started at an early age. My peers gave me a negative appraisal and I made the choice to give a shit about it (a bad choice).

I'm still that kid who will go for the hot girl who he really wants at heart. I just need thicker skin along with it, and the ability to laugh in the face of rejection, to square up to it and show it that it holds no fear.