What's the hell wrong with me?



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 Post subject: Re
PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2012 5:50 am 
This is truly a wonderful post. I really appreciate your work and feel that all these points that you have mentioned are truly worth giving a thought. I am sure many people would be highly benefited from this.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 8:09 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2009 11:51 pm
Posts: 153
Quote:
yeah when i was 19 it was shitty aswell..i had it on a plate so many times and didnt know what to do...i turned it around eventually but shit dont happen overnight...
there are a few things i can tell u though....
if ur a virgin its a big deal to u..right
no matter if i say its no big deal its still gonna be a big deal to you in your mindset. now when something becomes a big deal like losing ur virginity..it actually screws with your confidence massivley and fucks up your game...thus prolonging your status as a virgin..
fucked up aint it hahaha...but true
so whenever u see a fine girl ur body pumps out so much testosterone and adrenalyn that u cant think straight..cant talk straight or maybe even cant walk straight hahahaha...
this is why everyone..well almost everyone has to go to a bar or club and drink lots of alcohal to counteract the nerves...even guys who have screwed around need to counteract the nerves...
now knowing its all your own mind that controls your hormones and nerves is the beginning of becoming the man u want to be.
he who can control himself..can control everything.
im kinda in the same boat and this man speaks the truth


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 10:08 pm 
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Joined: Tue Aug 16, 2011 8:55 pm
Posts: 7
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So, you want to wire up an association between drinking too much and you being confident? I think not.

The confidence is inside you already. The alcohol doesn't give you the confidence. Indeed, it can make people look like right tits. I've been on enough nights out and met enough drunken idiots. They aren't pulling girls in that state. One drunk guy tried to sell me his girlfriend on one night out. Apparently I could have her for a pound. I commented that she looked like she was worth a lot more than that and she became very receptive to me. Which annoyed the drunken bloke a fair bit and I looked for the best route out of there.

Being drunk is much more likely to make you come across as a tit than it is to make you come across as confident.

Break the whole alcohol equals confidence nonsense loop as soon as possible. Of course some drink and having fun is good. But you don't need that stuff to access the confidence you already have. All that stuff ever does is turn down the other stuff that might have been holding you back long enough for you to actually be who you actually are.

You say you have "crap" social skills. What tells you that this is true? Is there some sort of social skills competition where you win a prize? Why are you judging yourself on an assumption about yourself that might not even be true?

You're a virgin? Okay, cool. Nothing wrong with that. But that's not the be all and end all of who you are.

Stand up for the good things about yourself. Stand up for the full story of who you are. You have close friends. People don't stick around too much with awful people. So you clearly have value and a lot of good qualities going for you. So, girls will see these good things about you too, will they not?

No girl you've just met can reject you. They have no idea who you are. All a girl does is reject or turn down an option. And you do that yourself every single day when you choose to do this or that instead of that or this. So, if things do go not how you would have liked it's not a big deal.

I'm not the world's biggest fan of him to be honest but I do like Ross Jeffries perspective on this that basically says that you shouldn't pay too much attention to a woman's first response to you when you meet or approach her. If she's open to talking to you, great. If she's not, then you can't possibly be responsible for that and it's more likely that her state is a product of stuff going on in her own life. Women have lives too. And who knows...you'd be surprised how some girls might be looking across at you going: "wow, he's hot...but he won't be interested in a girl like me". Go across and prove her wrong.

You don't need to be perfect. None of us are perfect. She's not expecting you to be perfect. Usually, if you mess up you can recover. I met this girl at uni and basically insulted her favourite author by accident whilst trying to chat her up. She spent a heck of a lot of that evening laughing about the whole thing and my attempts to dig myself out of the hole I had dug for myself. And she became my girlfriend very soon afterwards.

We can't control circumstances. Life is a dance with circumstances. Sometimes you lead and sometimes it does.

You see a girl you want to approach. If you approach her and it goes well then great. If it goes differently then it's a funny story for you to tell your friends and demonstrate how you're developing your social skills and confidence. So you can't lose on that front.

The only thing you can lose out on is the possibility of a great person being in your life. That woman you see could be a total cow or she could end up being your wife. She could be a complete bitch to you or she could show you things you never knew existed.

Whether they've broken my heart or not or messed with my head or not, every woman I've been involved with has given me something new. And those great days are recorded facts in time and in my memory. And you''ve only got so long on this planet to have those wonderful experiences you deserve.

Instead of focusing on "game", focus on simply playing the game. Doesn't matter how it goes or whether you're successful or not. It simply matters that you play. Of course keep yourself safe from actual harm and actual, real risk. But meeting someone new who could be the start of something amazing is a risk that is worth taking.
I'm quoting because this is a good post. What you say makes a lot of sens to me, thanks marty!


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