How to change the frame?



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 Post subject: How to change the frame?
PostPosted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 7:53 pm 
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Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2007 2:28 pm
Posts: 39
Location: Scandinavia
I started at a whole new school this semester. When i came there i new three guys (of 31 people), two of them used to be good friends of mine until about two years ago and now they kinda stick together and every interaction with them is almost embarassing for both parts. The other guy i knew is a skinny nerdy guy who slipped right into the bottom of the pecking order and now goes by the name of "stringen" (Panties). I was on my own to make new friends it seemed, but the other two halfs of the class came from two schools and had their friends and relationships. In the opening weeks we where placed in groups of six, i conveniently came with four girls in the category HB 5 to 6 and with overweight of attitude but an underweight of IQ. Also in the group where the class AMOG, this guy quickly established himself in the top of the pecking order, and to stay away from the bottom i shut up. This move was a strategy so that i wouldn't end up with a dumb nickname, or in a cockfight to the last man standing(this guy would knock ya down). As the days went on i got pushed onto this guy again and again, it was one of many factores that made me shy away from getting into the social ring the class now was developing. Girls even opened me several times, but i admit i was far from the most easy guy to converse with. Now it's the end stages of this semester and i still don't talk to many people in recess or spend time with anyone but a few beta males and almost feel caught in a bad sircle where people won't talk to me because i seem angry, and i don't talk to them because many interractions is just a minefield of things i can say to piss someone of. I have seven months left and wan't to ask someone if

A: is there a way of climbing up the pecking order without having to challenge anyone(befriending them i've tried, it only ends in a silly nickname)

B: Mystery and Style talks a lot about approaching new people you don't know, because your past firendships may keep you from changing, but here i have no choice other than to stay in school for the rest of the schoolyear, what can i do?

C: If one of the girls i like talk to me, i get oneitis by the blink of an eye, but then don't talk to them more because i'm afraid of screwing up, what can i do?


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 4:32 pm 
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Joined: Mon Oct 01, 2007 10:49 am
Posts: 408
Location: USA
Quote:
and i still don't talk to many people in recess or spend time with anyone
Recess? Are you in grade school? :shock:

Anyway, I have a couple suggestions. First, clamming up when girls are talking to you will not help. Be sociable, girls like that. You can still play push pull, or neg them or whatever works for you, but you can only play Game with your mouth working. Silent Sam sleeps solo.

Second, you are placing too much importance on success or failure within this small group of people, so you need to broaden the opportunities to socialize with other people outside this class. Join a club, take cooking classes, get a job where people gather. Do something so you are interacting with more women and have more opportunities. Then you won't worry about blowing it with the girls in your class, and this will make you more confident and calm when you interact with them. That in turn will improve your results substantially.

Good luck, let us know what happens. :wink:

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