How to get out of this depressing cycle?



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 Post subject: Social Shyness & Anxiety
PostPosted: Sat Dec 31, 2011 9:48 pm 
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Joined: Sat Dec 31, 2011 9:34 pm
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Location: Pakistan
The feelings of anxiety are similar for both types of social phobia. You find yourself:
worrying a lot about making a fool of yourself in front of other people
feeling very anxious before going into any of the social situations that worry you
going through, in great detail, all the embarrassing things that could happen to you
unable to say, or do, the things you want to
after an event, worrying about how you handled the situation. You may go over, again and again, how you might have behaved differently or said different things.

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One can also acquire benefits by using Überwachungskamera that is a German term used for monitoring technique.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 31, 2011 11:26 pm 
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Great information and all, but could you try and put it in one post? I feel what I went through is something everyone goes through. As big a deal as it was at that time, everyone will get over it or out of it as they grow up just like I did.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 5:40 am 
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Location: New Zealand
Ive been in your situation my friend and I know what its like, there was a post on this forum which inspired. Have a read for yourself I wish this post inspires you as it has done not only for myself but for many others alike
Quote:
Something you need to realize about women
Sometimes Life is a Dark Valley (Favourite Post)
This is probably my favourite post. This person has been through many experiences, having a loved one, and losing them.

X - I cannot explain how much I have learnt from this person. - A....a

This is what, they shared with me:

I've been on a long and hard journey since then, a trek across many mountain ranges, with dark valleys and fantastic climbs and wonderful views back across where I have come from.

So, when you are in the dark valley (where you are at the moment), first of all you can get a bit lost, you can wonder around for ages in the dark getting lost and there seems no way out and no hope and no point (like right now). It was fine in your valley when this girl was there because she had a lantern and all you had to do was focus on her and her lantern of happiness, but this was false security because now she has taken it away, you dont have a clue where you are, where to go next, you dont have a map, and its dark. So you want your girl and her happiness lantern back.


The first step is to stop wandering about in the dark thinking about not having a lantern any more. Instead LOOK UP and see the peaks surrounding you (by definition, every dark valley has peaks).

From where you are the peaks look insurmountable, but if you just keep walking and breathing, one step at a time, one day at a time, you can get there.

Of course there is an alternative which is staying in the dark valley for ever, but you once you've noticed the peaks and start focussing on them and believing you can get there, they do start to seem like the better option.

The good thing about standing at the top of your valley's peak, is its sunny up there so you can stand in the sunshine and you feel so strong like you can conquer the world and you are so proud for making the climb, you look down in valley and wonder why you stayed down there for so long, why you didnt come up here before, and the views are so good you can see whole mountain ranges ahead of you that you can conquer and you believe anything is possible now.

This is where i am now, and remember I started off in the very deep well at the bottom of the very dark valley.

So, what is the point of living - life is about the journey, and the lessons you learn on it - that is the point in living

This girl was just someone with a lantern you met on YOUR journey, she wasnt your destination though - by attempting to maintain communication you are preventing yourself from moving forward, refusing to accept that she is not the final destination, but you and she are on different journeys, you just shared a bit of the same path for a while.

If you try to get her back you will be running backwards on your journey, making no progress and even if you catch up with her, you may be following her down a path that is no good for you and you could get soo lost that way, you will never find your way back and you will not be living your journey - you can waste so many years of your life going the wrong direction - you need to break communication because you need to stand on your own two feet, climb your own mountain without her holding your hand, and find your own happiness lantern - you'll never do that if you keep running after her

Look this may all sound totally theoretical and like nonsense, I dont know, but i've been where you are, and I know for a fact that life can get better and you can find happiness, but one big lesson I learnt is that the best and realest happiness comes from the lantern inside you, not other people's lanterns. that is what will make you an attractive person, that is what will make people want to follow you, your happiness lantern and your smile on your journey, and that is the lantern that other people cant take away or put out.

The good news is you already have a happiness lantern inside you , the bad news is either its run out of batteries or you havent found the on switch (maybe you just forgot where the on switch is?)

So what you also need to do, is figure out, what turns your happiness lantern on - what makes YOU happy - (that is anything else APART FROM a girl) - when you have figured out the things that make you happy - it doenst matter what those things are or how silly or small they seem, keep doing them more and more, and soon your lantern will start to glow

She is not your personal key to your happiness - that lies within you - and once you have that, everything else will come and no one can take it away from you.

No matter how bad you feel right now, as long as you keep breathing and walking and looking up, you will look back one day from a fantastic sunny happy place

P.S Enjoy every minute you have with the women your with but realize she has her own life to live

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Three Types of Players:
1) Those who doesn't know whats happening
2) Those who watch what happens
3) Those who make it happen


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