I went out to a bar/club with a friend last night and we came up with a game to play to reduce approach anxiety and make it easier to talk to women.
I call the game TAG: The Approach Game, and here is how it works...
It involves you and your friend taking turns issuing each other challenges. The challenge has to involve approaching a woman in some ridiculous way, to achieve a specified objective.
Here are the rules for TAG:
1. Your friend comes up with the challenge (but it can't be anything vulgar or inappropriate, like walking up and grabbing her ass)
2. Your friend decides the objective (the result of the approach)
3. Your friends picks the girl
4. The girl has to be HB7 or higher
5. You have 3 minutes to make your move (my friend was using the timer app on his iphone)
6. If you succeed, your friend owes you a dollar.
7. If you fail, you owe your friend a dollar.
For example, here is the first challenge that I had to do last night. I had to walk up to a girl, say "penis," and see if I can get her to shake my hand (the objective), but I was not allowed to say anything other than "penis." He thought that she would shake my hand, so if she did I owed him a dollar. If she didn't shake my hand, he would owe me a dollar.
My friend picked a HB10, who was easily the hottest girl in the place, and started the timer. At first, I was a little bit nervous about it, and waited until I had less than a minute to go. Finally, I sucked it up and walked over to her. I tapped her on the arm and she turned to face me.
I held out my hand, looked her in the eyes, and said "penis."
She gave me a weird look and said "what?"
I kept my hand out the whole time and repeated "penis."
She looked down at my hand and said "umm...no, I'd rather not."
So I just shrugged my shoulders and turned my side toward her.
Then she leaned in and said "but, you can tell me your name if you want to."
So I turned back to face her, held out my hand again, and said "Penis."
At that point she walked away, lol.
Then my friend came over and gave me the dollar, and we both laughed our asses off.
Then it was my turn to give my friend a challenge. I told him he had to walk up to a girl and say "I like your hair, can I smell it?" And if she let him smell it, he owed me a dollar. I picked a HB7 in a 3-set and started the timer.
He walked over to her and said his line. She laughed and introduced him to her friends. Then she let him smell her hair! At that point, I walked over to get my dollar and to wing for him. He introduced me and the HB7 said that was the creepiest thing she ever heard. We chatted them up for a few minutes, then walked away to do the next challenge.
After I had gotten the first challenge out of the way, I had no problem with any of the others and did them all without any hesitation, no matter how crazy they were. At that point, it was all about the fun of the challenge, and not about talking to the girls. We stopped caring about what the girls might think or how they might react, and just viewed it as a source of entertainment, because that's exactly what it was. It was fun!
All of the sets we approached like this were highly receptive and we were able to stick around and chat them up for a bit. We became the fun guys in the place that everyone wanted to talk to! We were able to go back to sets that we had opened previously and just start talking to them again and they were happy to see us again!
When we began, our intention was actually to
try to get rejected, as an attempt to become comfortable with rejection and eventually not care about it. But, it turned out that rejection was perceived. We expected to get rejected, but the girls were very open to talking to us! Even with all the crazy stuff we were doing and saying, we didn't get rejected AT ALL!
Even the HB10 who walked away when I said "penis" kept coming back to talk to us! And I caught her looking at me and smiling from across the room several times. At one point, after we had approached every set in the place, we decided to walk up the street to check out a few other places. When we were leaving, the HB10 was standing by the door. She got a big smile on her face when she saw us, but I didn't stop, I just said bye to her and kept walking. She said "byeeee, penissss!!" while laughing. As we were walking down the street, I looked back, and the HB10 and her friend were following us!
Think about the girl who
said she was creeped out. Her words said one thing, but her body language and actions told a completely different story. If she was really creeped out, she would have slapped my friend, turned her back to him, walked away, or all of the above. But, she didn't do that. Instead, she laughed, stayed there and talked to him, introduced him to her friends, and let him smell her hair! She wasn't creeped out, she enjoyed it!
Even if we didn't achieve the specified objection, we were still able to stay there and talk to the girls, and they always introduced us to their friends.
We able to do this because we took on the mindset that we were playing a game and we weren't trying to impress or pick up the girls. We didn't care about the outcome. We didn't care about the girls. We came across as fun, playful guys who were out having a good time, our body language conveyed that, and we created a fun environment for everyone we associated with. As a result, the girls became intrigued and
wanted our company!
Here are a few of the other challenges that I can remember:
1. Go up to a girl, take your phone out, and say "ok, what is it?" and see if she will give you her number.
2. Approach a girl, hold out your hand, and say "I don't have gonorrhea." Try to get her to shake your hand. If she does shake your hand, say "just kidding, I DO have gonorrhea!"
3. Dancefloor Challenge: Go up to a girl on the dancefloor and say "You're doing that wrong, it's like this..." Then do some goofy dance. (I had to do the running man and the MC Hammer side step thing) Then ask her if she liked that. Bet on whether she says yes or no. (my HB liked it
)
4. Two girls were sitting on a bench talking to one another with about 5 inches in between them. My friend had to sit down in between them, put out both of his hands, and get both of them to take his hands. He could say whatever he had to, including letting them know it was a bet.
So, go out there and play TAG! It is a great way to help with approach anxiety and open sets at the same time! You can use this as a stepping stone as you get comfortable with approaching and realizing that you don't have to fear rejection, then move on to small talk and banter.
Feel free to post some more ideas for challenges. Remember there has to be an objective, something you are trying to get her to do (shake your hand, kiss you on the cheek, smell her hair, etc.) It can't just be something silly like "I dare you to walk up to that girl and fart!"
And post your results with TAG as well!
CHAT
