I I feel like killymed a little bit. I know how he feels. There's so much shit that's going wrong in my life. & I'm not generalizing. See I don't know if Killymed is just lazy or what's going on with him but my whole life's fucked at the moment. So it's very hard for me to go YES I'm HAPPY GO LUCKY & I'LL approach girls.
My Career is going down the tubes. I'm in a band and I write 100's of songs on my guitar & sing. This is at least the 25th band i've been in. Most people don't show up the next day when they say they want to jam, or they do and there extremely wasted. The most loyal members right now are real young musicians who play bass & drums. We live in between 2 fairly small cities. Most places around here only let you play acoustic to get exposure. Luckily my band mates refuse to play acoustic sets even though the bassist just has to hook his bass into a PA system & the drummer just has to hit his hands off of a conga. I would be okay with playing solo but this month is battle of the bands month. 4 Different contests that I know of where I can advance in my career but I need a band. My only motivation here is reading that Kurt Cobain lived in his car right up until the Smells Like Teen Spirit Video was released on MTV. Luckily there's no videos on MTV anymore. I must have filled out 10 job applications in the area with No calls back. & yes I've graduated from High school.
Relationships
a 2 year long LTR out of game......then when I get back in it the last couple of sets the past few months where terribly bizarre. I don't want to go out either. Last girl I # closed was really into me. I thought she was really cute. I asked her before I advanced in kino how old she is. Luckily she's 1 year below the legal age to date in my state. Before That I made the mistake of taking 2 girls I # closed on different days & made a plan to go to a party with both of them so I looked cool, was socially proofed. There was a hardcore army AMOG there who I went to HIgh School with who changed more then I did. The guy took the hotter girl off of me. The 3 other girls at the part where basically making out with the guys they where with. & it just goes on and on. I really don' feel like i'm exaggerating either. I've had some of the shittiest wings. I teach them every thing I know, then they don't reciprocate blocking AMOGs, or Obstacles. & any chance they get they fuck with me the moment i'm not the center of attention. One of the things I dislike about wings around here is when they try their best to get to the top & destroy all other competition. They don't realize that if they actually helped the good guys out. The good guys would help them out.
Being around my mom for more then an hour is like being in a big field of low self esteem. She was just talking to me when I mentioned women. She goes "Why don't you just say Hi?, or " O I thought you where someone else". BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT IT IS. SHE SAYS THIS IN THE MOST COMPLAINING FUCKING TONE. she is right. but I know that's not going to get the girl doing just this. I've approached a good amount of women in the past. Then she says "Why do you talk so much?, YOU HAVEN'T BEEN DATING ANYONE LATELY CAUSE YOU TALK TO MUCH". PICTURE your mom saying this but literally nails on chalkboard sound waves are just shooting into your ears like needles from her mouth.
My mom was taught that if you're quiet, don't' say a word, and don't bother anyone you'll succeed. This is why It's hard for me to want to listen to my grandfather speak on Holidays. Everything that flows out of his mouth is the opposite of what i learned in Pick Up, Psychology, & Business
Health
My health is actually fairly GOOD.
this amazes me because i'm a kind of skinny guy. Not overly skinny but I never have an appetite. & when I do I don't have weight problems. probably could work out a little more.
Almost all of the above = a shit load of anxiety. I'm really thinking about going to a place where there's a population more then 4,000 & the cities are bigger then 45,000. I live in U.S. I would like to move into a Lair with Positive minded guys. Even if I have to live in the closet with my guitars. The coolest thing would be to teach this stuff in front of people & get paid. I taught a man 3 years ago for a few bucks he told me was really happy that I shared the knowledge & he fucked a chick the next week. I know I could be 1 of the top PUAs out there If I was surrounded by positive people. I've watched SO MANY VIDEOS on GAME. I KNOW THE INs & OUTS of most social situations, but i'm fairly uncalibrated from not going out. I want wings where I can talk to them about theory & they actually know what i'm talking about & give me advice, & i give them advice and I can wing for them so they get the girls they want and they wing for me & I get the girls I want. This would also give me an opportunity to get some gigs by living in the city. Do you guys have any suggestions? Do you know of any lairs that are operating right now like in The Game?
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