Hey guys ive been reading around these forums and i admit i am very shy to approach a girl i feel that ima get a stright up rejection, the reason i think this is cause i mean people on here say you need to go up to the confidently and just use kino neg them this that but i mean ive seen so many people who are confident who go up to girls try to talk to them and they get shot down right away as soon as they say hi they get shot down before they can finish saying hi.. why is this the case sometimes? how do i go about approaching a girl so i dont end up geting shot down before i can say hi to them.

thanks

something that can help is this

tell yourself your not going up to her to hit on her, you are going so you can see what type of person she is.

if you change your intentions in your mind, then its no problem at all.

credits to ross jeffries for this concept


skittlepimp

easier said than done :-\ i have to get over this fear i cant live my life like this lol

Why the fuck are you posting easier said than done?! We can only 'say' you have to do the 'done'! We all have fears man and i was as bad as you at the start. What your doing is putting too much value into the girls. They are not the most important things in your life, infact they arent really that important in comparison to yourself. You should be the most important person, by fearing these women and not going and talking to them, your assuming that they are more valuable/important that you. Get over it! You are the prize. the man!

Ask yourself why are you so afraid of approaching these women?
-Because your scared of rejection?


There is somthing I learned from in NLP, its this simple formula

E+R=O

Event + Response = Outcome.

20% of the outcome is the actual event (in this case rejection) 80% is your response to it.

Its all about how you react to the event. Remeber there is no failure only learning experiences! Reframe your thought patterns stop dwelling on the rejection and just say to yourself: "Oh well next..."

You have to live life on the edge if you dont your just existing and not living.

_________________
Ratio theroy...

I have never heard of somebody getting rejected before they even said "hi" but hey I guess it can happen.

I think that only happens if the way you approach is as if you're about to actually hit on her. This is the worst way to do it unless she shows a lot of interest.

But to avoid it, just pretend you come up to her as if you're just coming up to ask her some question like "Where does this bus go" (dont actually ask that unless thats appropriate at the time)

Update us on your success.

-nick

You know guys im actually starting to understand how this GAME works i mean its obvious when you go up to a girl stright out of know where and make it obvious your gonna hit on her shes gonna reject you but if you go up to her like its just something you do all the time you just want to meet a new firend your not gonna get rejected am i geting this right? you know what guys your all right im crazy for being scard i mean its not like ive never approached a girl before i have many times i never got shot down like that never except maybe once i got nothin to fear so im just gonna go for it thanks...

First you have to gain the mentality that you are the prize.

Secondly, you can only be rejected if you allow yourself to be...if they/her say flat out go the hell away...why would you wana be around people that are that close minded?

I have very bad social anxeity, even with people i have known my whole life. I may not be completely over it, however the game has gotten me a 100 times better with working with it and/or getting over it.

start by making physical changes, cut your hair differently, shave, dress nicely/intresting, change how you walk/talk/interact...the positive feedback you get from people will boost your confidence...the trick is then to self validate yourself, selectivly accept validation from others (do not seek others to validate you)

ex: some 1 says the 'new you" looks good/handsom/cute/nice/etc

i can chose to not accept thier validation....
ME: "I feel good too, i think its important for people to reflect how they feel."

or accept it...
ME: "Thanks....(insert anything else after)".