Well im new here, and i have been doing some reading on this site and it appears the people here determined to improve themselves, so i figured this might be a good place to ask this question. Its a problem I have had all my life, there seems to be two liquidgld9's. There is the shy quiet guy most people see, then there is the guy my family sees. When I am with family ive known my whole life, i become really outgoing, funny, witty, confident, the life of the party...i can talk to anyone at family gatherings, even the people i have only, and continue to only see once a year at best, no matter their age, style, or personality type. Ill get a game of football or frisbee going, asking everyone around to play, everybody looks to me to for the final say on goal placement, rules, etc. If something interesting is happening, or is going on, there is always somebody who comes looking for me so i can join in on it. I can talk with female family members easily as well, i can joke with them and have fun, they all refer to me as the favorite cousin. But around everyone else...i dunno, i just like, freeze up, and have litte interest in whats going on around, and i feel like i just want to leave, go home or w/e.

This has plagued me my whole life, ive always known if i could just act the way i do around family all the time, id be able to make friends with anyone, and with just a little work and modification, pick up women with relative ease. But I cant, im not sure why, and was hoping maybe somebody here could offer some advice.

I'm no expert, but I think you need to identify what the issue is to begin with a little better. Is it possible that you lack confidence when you encounter other people? You need to work on things which you think make you nervous if so... If it is your appearance then work on that, if it is an accent try to work on that. There is no magical solution for it, just work on your issues and try and get over ur problem man. Good luck

inner game, innner game, inner game

around your family you feel completely comfortable because you already know ur the shit. But when you are around other people you feel ackward and out of place because you arent interacting. You should do styles newbie challenge i only did like 3 assignment then i was feeling more confident,, im 17 btw (if that makes a difference lol)

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Back then they didnt want me, now im hot they're all on me

Liquid, just keep in mind life is a social game. Your family knows you and is always pushing you up, in the real world, we will always be pushing you down or ignoring you.

In you I see a confident, balanced guy. Ok? That's not bullshit. You just suck at the everyday social game and that's fine. You've never taken the time to REALLY see what's going on.

Sounds like you have goals, so set them and make it happen. Learn more about social interaction. It's just like a dog pack, leaders and followers. Find some Alpha males, see how they operate. Make new friends, learn to make more.

Books are written on this stuff. Here's my quick take. Be a person people are drawn to. Have a sense of humor. Be confident. Think then speak. Always keep a positive vibe. Compliment people, ego boost them. Remember names. Walk slowly. Like yourself, a lot. Earn that self respect. Be kind. Be hard. Be the guy people go to for advice.

ANyways, that's my general take. In the real world you have to work at it. Not with your family because they love you. So open up to that.

Don't feel bad about freezing up. You fucking come at me for a game of chess and don't know the rules, you ought to freeze up. Just shows your sane.

Learn the game.

Good luck bro!

Looks like your biggest issue is dealing with rejection. Your family understands you, and there's almost nothing you can say to make them reject you, so you can cut loose. However, when dealing with new people, saying just one off-beat thing can give the wrong impression and kill the whole interaction.

There's no easy way out of this. You'll just have to talk to people as much as you can. You may get rejected a lot, but after a while those rejections will become meaningless as you realize there will always be more people.

Ideally, learning routines and to say the right things would be the best approach. However, in practice, it's near impossible and often leads to freeze-ups.