A few weeks ago, i have told my friends about 'The game' and showed them a couple of videos. However, they were very judgemental and labeled me as desperate and that PUA material was 'Loser'.
Ive kept PUA to myself for a couple of years. I reaped many benefits from it which made me into a better well rounded social person.
Before PUA, i have been a social person who was shy/confident around some situations with people. Reading about pua built up my confidence even more.
However, i had some elements of social anxiety ie i couldnt talk to girls i thought were adorable, i was uncomfortable with alpha looking guys etc. Basically, when i was around people who i thought had more or less same or lesser value than me, i would become king. however, in situations where people had higher value, i choded out. Also, coming out of high school, i tended to avoid many of my HS students in college because i lost all value in the last year of HS because i was around friends who i didnt like and i choded out basically. I had this one guy who always told me i was shit with girls. People around me knew i wasnt getting much. So i told myself that in university that i will be the biggest player around. Easier said than done.
After an unsuccessful year at pickup, i deceided that i would tell my friends about pua so that i would have a few buddies i can relate to. Miserable fail. They made fun of it. So i went around and met some members from the community. They were all chill.

Particularly, i idolized Jeffy from RSD. I liked his style therefore i would copy what he would say, what he would do and the way that he would carry himself. I was acting to be like him for the last few months and have realized that i believed so much that i was this macho dude not giving a shit for the world so i was always aggressive and never backed down from fights. Since showing my mates a few videos of jeffy, i felt a serious tear in my personality. I felt like i couldnt be the once macho alpha myself anymore since i showed my friends the videos ie i had revealed my secret identity. Looking back in my life before, i guess i was a pussy, i never took life by the balls and was a complete chode. Now that the secret identity role i had been playing had been released to the public, i switched to the same old me.

Whats interesting is, nowdays i cant even hold a conversation with strangers without blushing, sweating or freaking the fuck out. Im so scared that people will know me for this creepy pickup guy who needs pua material to succeed with women. IM so sick of giving a shit what others think. Im anxious all the time. Now i cant even be the chode i once used to be before learning about PUA. Im taking anti-depressants to cure this but so far it hasnt been working. yeah, deep inside me i feel fucked up.
My ways of thinking is fucked up beyond all reason. Ive decieded to create MY own identity from the values i have and hobbies i enjoy. I want to be happy being myself. Doing pua one of the hobbies.

Why do i feel so anxious around people now? Why do i have fucking panic attacks around people usually i would be fine with?

I think what happened to you is that you found someone you wanted to imitate and after a while you had lost your sense of self. I had this too at one point. And I think this is what's causing your panic attacks. Basically you went back with your confidence progress.

Essentially what PUA teaches has gone way beyond learning pickup lines and routines. It teaches you how to express who you truly are from within, without caring what other people think of you. Without caring if people judge you. You're basically saying: This is me, whether you like it or not is your choice, I'm fine either way, because I'm happy with myself.

Do what you want to do and don't let your fears hold you back, I know it's way easier said than done, because we're ALL trying to achieve this through PUA, but it's inevitably the road you should be following. You should find out who YOU are, what YOUR character is like, what HUMOR you like, do stuff that amuses YOU. Find out what YOUR values are and expect nothing less from people (Now I don't mean start fights with people that you don't agree with, but tell them that you don't like that they do a certain thing and if they don't change it then just stop hanging out with them), choose your friends, people who you enjoy hanging around with. If you don't have these people in your life, then your mission is to go out and find them. Build a social life through commonalities.


I know this is A LOT of work to do, but the stuff is out there to help you get this, now that you have a map and you know where you need to go, it's a lot easier to get there. Basically what you need to do is focus on your inner-game and changing your self beliefs and the rest will fall into place.

And remember that PUA is so much more than trying to pickup woman, it's about building the life that you want... the woman are just extra's.

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An approach a day keeps the guru away.

Ok, time for a mind-set shift. You're not the first guy who has flipped out getting negative reactions to PU, so please don't feel like there's something inherently wrong with You. If there was, there wouldn't be 247 threads on "do I tell people about PU." So, let me ask you a few questions:

If a girl went to the mall and sat at one of those makeup counters and was taught how to apply makeup properly and skillfully, then did it and got complements for it, would you think less of her?

If someone took a dance lesson because they had a wedding coming up and didn't want to look like an idiot, would you think less of him?

If you saw someone at the gym getting a private lesson with a trainer, would you call him a loser?

All these are people who are doing EXACTLY the same thing as pickup--learning a skill that betters him/herself. No more, no less. The difference is that few people know about PU, so there's stigma attached to it. Hell, there's a big stigma attached to taking antidepressants--people don't go around talking about that, for the same reason! In both cases though, the person is not taking "good enough" for an answer, and is not settling for a mediocre life. He is taking every opportunity he has for bettering himself and making his life not good, but great. striving for the best self.

That's what you're doing You didn't adopt someone else's personality any more than the girl with the makeup took someone else's face, or the dancer took the instructor's body.

Your friends' bad reaction having such an effect on you, though, tells me not that you should give up PU, but that you could use a lot of the "inner game" skills taught here to build up your reserve of self-confidence and sureness. The goal should be to not care what your friends think, to be proud of how hard you've worked and how you are a better person.


-L

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The above is a woman's POV; may or may not represent the rest of my gender

and you call thouse people your "friends"? All my life I have pushed myself out of my confort zones in different subjects (eg: I did multilevel marketing tought being very shy), and there was always people laughing at me (I don't consider them to be my friends and didnt' give a fuck what they think): my friends usualy tried to advise me, but as they are not in my situation and didn't know what they were talking about I could not follow they advises, but we still be friends.

I totally agree with other responses of this post, trying to be a PUA is like taking dancing lessons or having a personal trainer in the gym. I think you should find some other friends as well.

I know why you told this to your friends. It makes it a lot easier for you if you have people with whom you can sarge together and discuss the matter. I did the same as you. Currently I sarge with 1 relative and 1 friend. I told it only to those 2 because I knew they were going to support the idea and we made a vow to not tell others about the material. As I am preeching a long time ago, I think only people with severe problems should know about this. Me, my cousin and this friend were having severe problems so according to me, we had the right to learn and use these techniques. So there I was more lucky than you.

Now, stop taking these pills. They are not gonna help you out. Lately, I was thinking about my problem and I realized something. I realized that approach anxiety is basically a lack of confidence in yourself. You don't go talk to that girl because you start making up all reasons why she wouldn't want to speak to you. "She won't find me attractive ... What if I get stuck in the middle of the conversation ? ... What if she harshly rejects me ?", which you can translate in "Lack of self confidence regarding your looks ... lack of self confidence regarding your conversational skills ... lack of self confidence". It is a confidence related issue.

Therefore, instead of reading PUA books, I read books related to building self confidence. And I have to say that these books are remarkably interesting. I realize now that from being extremely shy you cannot just throw yourself at women and open 40 in 1 day. It is like never having played soccer to play the champions league in 1 day. The jump is to big. You have to increase step by step. The steps don't have to be big but you have to be sure you improve each day. You don't have to pickup anyone; you don't even have to try to pickup anyone. If you are scared to say "Hi" to a stranger, it is ok if you start by saying "Hi" to random strangers. If you are scared of making eye contact it is an improvement if you just improve by making longer eye contact and maintain it. You don't have to force yourself to improve 5 steps at 1 time. Just build it up slowly. What they also suggest is that you make some kind of scheme. Tomorrow I am gonna do this, next week that, the week after that, ... At the end of the scheme you should be able to approach women.

These books also give helpful tips like for example, body language. There is a connection between how you feel and how you behave. If you feel tired, people can notice this by observing your body language. But it also holds the other way around. You cannot smile and feel sad at the same time. Nor can you cry and be happy at the same time. Therefore, if you want to feel confident you need to put your body in a confident posture. I can assure you that by just changing your body language, you indeed get more confidence. Another thing is to stop thinking of yourself as a shy person. Even though you are shy, don't think about it. Try to think: "How would it be to be not shy ?". And imagine what you would do different if you would have a lot of confidence. Try imaging talking to that hot girl you were scared to approach this weekend. How would you have opened her, how would you have looked at her, how would your body language look like ... ? By asking these questions you avoid hearing that little annoying voice inside your head that is telling you, you are an extreme shy person. It is this voice that is the reason why you are shy in the first place. So let it work for you instead of against you.

I hope my tips can help you with your problem. I really think that if you apply them, you are gonna make huge improvements. You don't need to dump your friends. Use them as social value. It might be a nasty thing to do but if they don't believe in PUA than they sure won't get angry with you if you use these useless techniques on them. But at the same time, never listen to their bad advice. I know what these people say: "You can never get that girl, she is too hot for you." I have been there to. And you know what ? It is all a bunch of crap. I used to believe these negative stories but later on I realized that they were not true. You can get any kind of women, as long as you are confident. What you should also do, is try to find a friend with whom you can go out together and apply these techniques.

This might be a long post, but I totally agree with it.

And what you're saying about your friends saying: "You can't get that girl, she's out of your league", I sometimes get this when I see like a model and I tell my friends. I just laugh at their face when they say this and go approach.

Build your confidence up with what the above post said so that you believe in yourself MORE than you believe in the judgments of anyone else (e.g. your friends).

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An approach a day keeps the guru away.

It was never shameful to study, improve and seek help.

If I had that attitude very earlier in my life I would be much more succesful than what I am today.

Love this post, was me and it's changed my life completely. I've said to my friends that PU is not just PICKUP but life-changing too with confidence etc.
All guys love this, just too scared to admit or find it sad. But my mindset has changed so much and for the better, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for PU.

WHOOOOOP

I have just one question for you - have you actually had sex with a woman after beginning PUA studies?