Not really fear but excuses?



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PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 8:23 am 
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I was just wondering what you guys think of this. I am a farely introverted person and a lot of the times my reason for not opening a set or approaching a girl is not because i have a gripping suffocating fear like i used to but i talk myself out of it. Any tips on ignoring that voice inside? lol...thanks =)


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 4:54 pm 
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well think of it like this

girls are just people, they are like you and like me

they arent special, dont put them on a pedestal, also get this mindset that they should be happy you chose to talk to them

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 5:25 am 
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The best thing you can do is Model someone else's posture, Mystery for instance, Walk like him, talk like him, act like him and soon you'll feel like him too. If you walk with confidence you will act with it as well... plus your intention is to just get to know people, you have plenty of women in your life right now... you're going to bless them with your presence...


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 6:32 am 
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Yea, I know what you mean.

This one night at a party, was showing my dancing skills just for awhile to my mates (we have like dance off competitions its hillarious). Then these 2 girls kept eying me the whole night.

Firstly, I was drinking while everyone was (hadn't slept for the past 48 hours)
secondly, one was hb7 and the other was hb4 but the hb7 was very shy (I've met her before briefly)
thirdly, I hadn't read magic bullets (still reading it now) and yea...very shy, didn't know how to open.

Anyway, point of the story is I used three excuses to myself to stop myself from opening on them.
1) wasn't drinking and tired.
2) They're were two, didn't want one to feel left out
3) I've never really approached before.

I knew I could have just jumped into the attraction phase and qualifying stage, but I didn't cas' i'm a fucking AFC...lol


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 7:32 am 
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I feel you pain man.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 10:41 pm 
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Excuses are fear dude. I think you're just looking for a way to rationlize your fear of approaching by saying "its too late, its too early, its not a good day, ill probobly be busy, etc etc". I know thats the case for most guys and myself. I'm currently trying to get myself to the mall to start learning, but it scares the shit outta me > fear >excuses.

Althought, this may be of interest to you guys. I read somewhere that there is not really any fear aside from "loss". That all "fears" can be boiled down to that one thing. Eg. Fear of rejection, is actually just fear of loosing someone you chose to invest in. Thus, to actually get through your approach anxiety, you have to somehow teach yourself to invest nothing in the people you approach.

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