how to overcome a lack of confidence and air of desperation?



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PostPosted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 9:22 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2010 8:38 pm
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Hey guys, new around here and was looking some advice.

So I broke up with my girlfriend of a year and a half about 5 months ago and I'm looking to get back into dating. Before this I was a really happy, outgoing person who had a load of hobbies and friends. Now I've sort of got a lack of confidence and issues with attracting women, wondering if I'm attractive at all. So I wanted some help, first of all have a look at some of my pics and let me know if I've got a good style or what.. just go to myspace and its /Rodisgod2010 (I can't post URL's apparently.)

Now don't get me wrong in 22 years I've had 7 girlfriends, but I haven't had a lot of sex, most girls I've dated have been of the very Christian type waiting until marriage thing. Don't get me wrong I like sweet girls but I really wanna have sex, and I think this may give me a vibe of desperation that women can probably see a mile of. My friends have told me I see women as conquests rather than you know, women. I have a few female friends as well so its not as if I'm afraid to talk to women its just the attracting part and the initial approach that I'm very nervous about.

Basically I just want to get my confidence back, so if anyone has any help or advice I'd really appreciate it!

Cheers 8)


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 Post subject: Confidence Replies
PostPosted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 4:18 am 
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Hey man what's up! First off, there's different types of confidence, verbal, physical, sexual, and social. I first believe that you should list your limiting beliefs or fears that are blocking you from becoming confident. And after you have that list down you can put yourself through certain social experiments to combat those negative beliefs. Say for example, you felt self conscious about your body image, and you felt that was one of the reasons that were inhibiting your approaching confidence, you could go to a public place, and wear a women's dress, and say hi to people. Not only does this empower you to feel comfortable in your own skin, but it destroys approach anxiety. And as far as attracting women, there are two ways I feel best work for making the process work, and isn't very difficult. First, is going out in the daytime to nearby coffee shops, and malls, and going direct with girls. (i.e. "Hey I think your really cute, I had to come say hi.). The direct approach during the day, is hit and miss sometimes, but its the quickest way to bring women into your life without much pick up knowledge. And I am assuming you can talk to women and have a normal conversation because you have had 7 girlfriends. The second way and is another efficient way is to, invite groups of girls out with you that you meet in the daytime to a nighttime event. This is great because its builds social proof for you at the club.



If you want any other tips you can add me on Facebook "Dele Olora." or text me 714 683 7200.


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