Hi guys, i'm about to pour my heart out to you...ha but don't worry, not in a awkward way. if the topic seems long i am sorry but im sure you'll find my situation interesting.


here's my situation, and the problem is pretty self explanatory:

im 19

a virgin..."hey no big deal!"

never had a gf "odd, but seen that before"

and i've never kissed a girl "this is a little bit more rare"

i might as well be fucking Amish

Now, nobody i know knows this about me, except for my parents and even THEY don't believe it. So me making this thread is a very big deal because simply, i have never shared this information with ANYONE. but i find that it is undoubtedly VERY crucial to enlighten my audience of my current situation so that they have the tools that they need to develop a true analysis of my behavior.


now, what is going to make this a very interesting case what i'm about about to tell u now about myself. It is probably easy to imagine someone in this perdicament as sort of well...."beta" ...even kinda dweebish.

not necessarily a bad thing, but it is natural to initially imagine a person of non-alpha characteristics being in the same situation. But i can honestly and TRUTHFULLY tell you this is not the case. i used to be an athlete, i am not awkward when speaking to anyone, and i have a healthy relationship with friends and female friends. but thats just talk right?

well heres an idea of of why my situation is...different.

my current employment is a shirtless greeter model for abercrombie and fitch. ive walked runway shows (just went with a friend to a casting call with no intention of being in one). and have been scouted for local agencies, and even was invited and went to a casting call for the hollister posters.

great. just fucking awesome. this is all cool, but does this make me feel any better about myself? do i feel confident? not at all, i still have the same problems with myself that i've ALWAYS had. its all... external shit. I WISH my mind would let it get to me. in fact the only people in my life that know about this shit are the FEW people that are close.

the ONLY reason im providing this information is not out of some insecurity (maybe slightly) but for even FURTHER analysis of my situation. and to prove, that i'm not some dweeb that stutters when talking to a pretty girl.

okay, but obviously there's a problem...

i cant say that i've failed with women, but i can say that i've never really TRIED. but i also think there's more to that, for i think i am different than most guys my age.

from a young age i never felt the urge to run out a get gf, there were girls i liked, but i felt i didn't need to make them my girlfriend unless i had a deep bond and friendship with the person first. From a young age i thought this! I simply could not think in any other way, any other way was superficial and lustful to me. and nothing is fucking WRONG with that, but it seems like in this day an age, it just wont work like that. and this site kinda proves that lol.

but i digress, I'm making excuses. because now this is getting ridiculous and i need to change something. lets scroll back to that not TRYING aspect. if i can say one thing, i have developed this inability to truly put myself OUT there. because i feel that the few times i did, i was blown off. i would have thoughts like, im just ugly, maybe im weird, im just lame, or "im not doing that again". despite what my attractive (once prospects) female friends would say. despite the superficial attention ill get from random chicks. this is still my thought process.

now i don't know how all this came off to you, i did my best to interpret my scattered thoughts and i have more to say, but ill leave it at this for now. but guys.... what is....wrong with me? WHY am i like this? this is NOT normal no matter what anyone says. something is WRONG. i even did stupid shit like focus on my looks as a security blanket so people couldn't say SHIT to me. but of course this is not helping.

Nothing is wrong with you. You will find a lot of guys like that on here, may not be the majority, but we are out here.

I kinda fell into a situation like yours, I grew up alright, not a loser, but not alpha. I did the sports, hung out with hella friends, as far as i knew, i was just like everyone else, nothing better nothing worse.

it wasnt till after my first hearbreak, shit went downhill. It took me over 6 years to get to the confidense i have today (mainly because i havnt tried to get my confidence back until about 6 months ago).

I had a lot going against me tho, to sum it up, i had so much women problems i just gave up subconsciously and slowly began to shut myself off from the world.



For your situation, it sounds like something bad has happened to you directly or indirectly which may alter your interest in women to that of distrust. For me, it was a mixture of parents in divorce, getting cheated on by the first girl i loved, almost every little horror story you can imagine. I came to the point where i was one way with girls, if i felt they were going to show their undying love right off the bat, i wanted nothing to do with them. I didnt need anymore heartbreaks haha.

The only thing i can suggest for you is to find a way to realize when you go out with a girl, you are doing it because its FUN THING TO DO. Chances are, she isnt going to be the one you marry. Hell, there is probably going to be a chance you will never talk to her again, but why should that stop YOU from having fun???

You are putting girls way to high on a pedestal man. Remember girls are just people too (you obviously have friends that are girls), why not just have fun relations with them. Last thing, this goes out to all those virgins out there "Sex is sex, anyone can do it" not only that but in my personal opinion, all by itself, sex sucks (no pun intended). Trust me, you will have a great time doing it, but you will find there is a lot more to a girl then just sex.

Hope anything i said here helps. When it all comes down to it, dont worry about anything, if you are worried about people's opinions, who gives a rats ass. The only damn thing that should matter to you in this world is, are you having a good tme and if not, why?

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What a dick! Right!?!