hey guys, so here's the problem; a lot of times, the problem that I (and i assume others) have often isn't getting up the nerve to talk to strangers, but rather, summoning the will to even go out in the first place. i know that i can talk to strangers because i talk to plenty throughout my day, just because i love the sound of my own voice. but something about going out on the weekend just fills me with dread. fears of not having a good time, not closing, or watching others close insteas of me tend to keep me from going out, and even if i do manage to get out, i often feel uneasy and nervous while thinking about approaching. once I'm in a set, i tend to relax a bit and play the game, but the steps leading up to it are crippling me, and i often leave scenes early, cracking under the stress. Anyone go through this or know what to do about it?

I'd say you're getting ahead of yourself with your fears. Go out, but don't go out worrying about "not having a good time, not closing, or watching others close instead of me." Just make it a goal to go out. If you just do that then you've succeeded. Keep it up, feel the fear--hell, embrace the fear--and eventually you'll realize that the things you feared were phantoms.

One thing I used to do if there was no one to go out with or my friends wanted to do something I wasn't interested in was to go alone to bars with live music. There are a lot of places near me with no cover or a cheap cover. I'd go, stand or sit at the bar, listen to the band and have a drink. Yeah, it used to make me really self-conscious as if people were thinking, "that guy's alone. What's wrong with him?" Of course no one cared and I knew that, but I'd still be uncomfortable. Now I know it, feel it and believe it.

Nowadays I go out alone sometimes just because I want to. In a couple of places I've gotten to know the bartenders and some regulars. It's a great feeling to walk into a place, shake hands with the bartender, make smalltalk, get my drink, then turn to a group and ask, "how do you guys know the band?"