Taken too long to break the ice, normal approach awkward now



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PostPosted: Sat May 30, 2009 3:49 pm 
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I'm sure this is a somewhat regular occurence on here, I'm a guy who was convinced he was ugly but realised I was attractive relatively recently, I won't go into it. There's this girl I want to make a move on and I know she likes me but when we first noticed each other it was when I was in the period of realisation, she was sorta the girl who made me realise I was quite a bit above average looking. Back then though I didn't know how to talk to girls or anything so I knew she liked me and she knew I liked her but she was obviously expecting me to come onto her, and she gave me plenty of openings but I dind't take them.

Well she stopped flirting with me eventually but I can tell she still likes me but although I've become more confident with girls I've taken so long with this that just walking up to her for no reason would seem so stupid now, I really need an innocent reason to talk to her but I just can't think of anything. I'm not joking about taking a long time, come Summer it'll be about four years we've just been eying each other from a distance, we've both also had other partners in that time. Problem is that I always feel that I could do better knowing this girl is out there because she's so hot.

I've read the lines on here and I assume things are a little different in America because I'm in the UK and you'd get laughed at for this most of this over-confident alpha male stuff unless you visit a specific type of club (which I don't). What I really need is a completely innocent reason for going and talking to a complete stranger from across the room but I've never been too good at just talking to people for no reason, especially when it's clear I've taken so long to do it, it'd make me look like a complete pussy, taking four years to talk to a girl.

I just need to sound like I had no choice other than to talk to her, and I can take it from there.


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PostPosted: Sun May 31, 2009 9:30 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2008 7:56 pm
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Location: Citalia Italy
That's the problem, subconsciously, you still think in the back of your mind, 'she knows what I'm up to' even if the opener is totally indirect.

Fuck it, pick an opener and go up to her and say it. Act non-chalant. That's it.

If she picks you up on it, play the joker, exaggerate that you're trying to pick her up.


Just do me a favour, speak to her. At least you will bring closure if nothing else.

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here-vp445642.html#445642


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PostPosted: Sun May 31, 2009 9:31 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2008 7:56 pm
Posts: 662
Location: Citalia Italy
That's the problem, subconsciously, you still think in the back of your mind, 'she knows what I'm up to' even if the opener is totally indirect.

Fuck it, pick an opener and go up to her and say it. Act non-chalant. That's it.

If she picks you up on it, play the joker, exaggerate that you're trying to pick her up.


Just do me a favour, speak to her. At least you will bring closure if nothing else.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 31, 2009 9:32 pm 
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Dedicated Member

Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2008 7:56 pm
Posts: 662
Location: Citalia Italy
That's the problem, subconsciously, you still think in the back of your mind, 'she knows what I'm up to' even if the opener is totally indirect.

Fuck it, pick an opener and go up to her and say it. Act non-chalant. That's it.

If she picks you up on it, play the joker, exaggerate that you're trying to pick her up.


Just do me a favour, speak to her. At least you will bring closure if nothing else.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 7:44 am 
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Joined: Fri May 22, 2009 8:33 am
Posts: 113
I agree with Tweeby, just go for it. It will either work or not.

I think you may be in a state of mind where you feel this girl is the only hot one around. Trust me there are plenty more. there always are. Actually there are better girls. Don't get hooked on her!

As for approaching strangers. Try to live by the 3 second rule, see girl get to her in 3 seconds, no excuses. During that small time your brain will generate some sort of opening. Even if you just say hello or something. the fact that you have approached is progress and girls do appreciate it. If you need a fallback opener there are loads. Find one you are comfortable with and fits your style and personality. If it doesn't fit girls will spot it. Do not focus on the outcome of approaching, just do it. treat it like practice or an experiment. there is no right or wrong just results.


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