Guys,

This is my reply to a newbie with anxiety issues on the following thread:

approach-anxiety-vt27601.html

So many ways to tackle this one but I'm into physical and tangible methods of solving intangible, emotional problems.

Here are some analogies:

There's a depressed guy. What's the best way to make him happy? Can you tell him over and over to be happy?

Another: There's a boxer going up against a Golden Gloves champ in a month. He's scared shitless because he's out of shape. What do you tell him? Don't be scared! Don't be scared!????

I don't understand why so many people here recommend similar strategies. "Hey, hop into the fire!" "Just jump into the water!" "Yeah, stick your hand in the lion's cage!" This is a recipe for disaster.

When are you the most nervous about an exam? . . . Yeah, it's when you're NOT PREPARED. So instead of focusing on your emotions which can just be a vicious cycle. Work on your game. The boxer becomes less nervous as he gets back into shape in camp. Take out a note book. Write up canned openers, routines, negs, kino, jokes, etc . . . figure out why some of those cans work. Figure out why most of it is all bullshit. Write up your own material. Practice by yourself. Practice with your friends. Practice on complete strangers in different towns that you could care less about. Practice in the mall where its their job to ask if you need anything.

Take it in bits and pieces. The boxer doesn't show up day 1 of training camp to run his whole routine and nor should you.

When you first practice on the field, the goal is to open. Period. Do NOT think about #'s, kisses, sex, etc. You want to open a set, communicate, and leave on a great happy note. Do this over and over and over and over and over and over and . . . well, you get the point. Next, you'll want to think about creating some rapport. Then just continue work your way through your note book.

One more thing. I have no idea why so many kids here are into the negs. What the hell? I've read so many terrible, insulting, and mean spirited ideas of "negs" on this forum, I can't help but thinking that many posters here suffer some anger issues. Forget the negs for now. Just keep it in the back of your mind. After some encounters, you'll realize, "Ahhh . . . shoot, a neg probably would have worked just then . . ." Until then, go out and make friends and rely on your positive energy.

Absolutely right. This is great stuff. I'm also right there with you on the subject of negs. Thanks for this post.

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Become a Zen PUA: "The Zen of Meeting Women"
http://zenpua.com

Hi,

I totally agree with you kasabi.

Style says "take baby steps" and it's true.

One thing at a time until you learn it.

Plus, your tip about writing the material down in a notebook is a very good one, which I'm currently using with success.

Use pen and paper, it makes your brain remember what you write much better than typing it on a computer.

Best regards,
Latino

_________________
"Attraction isn't a choice"
~ David DeAngelo ~

I love that prayer. That is actually my hands down favorite.

About the negs, its not a big deal its just that many guys over-do them. They need to be used in moderation with like only 1-3 negs on a girl. I actually havent negged in a looong time.

oh don't get me started in motivational quotes... personally got a couple ones

you can't guarantee success: you can always blow it.
But you can guarantee failure, merely by not trying at all.

The truth is: Right now you don't have the girl. If you go and try, the worst possible outcome is that you will still not have her. There's nothing to lose.

I held a moment in my hand, brilliant as a star, fragile as a flower, a tiny sliver of one hour. I dripped it carelessly, Ah! I didn't know, I held opportunity.

Dream as if you'll live forever - Live as if you'll die tomorrow

There are a million ways to lose a moment, but not even a single way to get it back

When your life flashes before your eyes, make sure you've got plenty to watch

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance

Live as you will wish to have lived when you are dying

And some in Latin:

Cotidie damnatur qui semper timet (The man who is constantly in fear is every day condemned)

Dum spiro, spero (While I breathe, I hope)

Possunt quia posse videntur (They can because they think they can)

Crudelius est quam mori semper timere mortem (It is more cruel to always fear to death than to die)

Crede quot habes, et habes (Believe that you have it, and you will)

_________________
Current Level: [PUA]

--POSSUNT QUIA POSSE VIDENTUR--
They can because they think they can