Your never going to achieve much in life without friends. Most of all - your never going to achieve happiness without them. They make you who you are. The best thing about friends is that you have complete choice. You can independantly choose who you do and dont want to be friends with.
Friends is the solution to social shyness. There is no 2 ways about it. Whether they are female or not.
So how do you go about friends? I have had loads of people recently asking me -
How do i make new friends?
Why do i need them?
Where do i find them?
Everyone needs at least one person who they can call a friend (this doesnt include your dog, fish or dogfish or pet or w.e). Now if you have one - which is a huge advantage over having none believe me - then the chances are that they dont have many either. You can go ANYWHERE and find a new friend. And you can do this with your friend.
If you dont already have a friend then go somewhere with people and become involved. Martial arts clubs, any club that you have an interest. And dont tell me you dont have an interest. Everyone has an interest. You could just go straight to a club alone - but this takes confidence. People will deny ever being unconfident - just to reassure theirselves. Bragging is a form of this. Ever seen that guy? In the middle of the group? Bragging loudly? Some of the group will be engaged by his ''confidence''. Some will think that hes a loser and just laugh at him. And then there is the other guy in the middle of the group smiling and making people laugh. Not bragging - just has enough confidence to let people know who he is. He has friends - people know it - and they like him for it. This gets him more friends. Its a self recurring process
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Say your in a club. You dont even need to say you have friends half the time - because when people see how confident you are they will assume you have them anyway.
You must never see making friends as a challenge. Its just a positive aspect of your life.
If you are scared of approaching a girl - in your head put HER into the LJBF zone. Tell yourself that she is only allowed to be your friend. Just with benefits
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The way i look at it - is that i dont give a fuck if i die right now. And going to make friends wont kill me - and why would i care if it does?
Now not all people would have a perspective as - erm - extreme as this - but you need some kind of way of dealing with anxiety. Would you prefer them like you or dislike you?
And as for physical attributes that people are shy of - try and clean yourself up as well as you can (dont get obsessed with it) - if your still not happy with your appearance then the chances are that its you, resorting to blaming your anxiety on your appearance. Say for instance you are paranoid of your braces. The guy/girls are going to see them anyway. Would you prefer them see them when your trying to hide them nervously with your head down? Or not give a fuck. They can see them anyway - i cant control them so ill make up for them with my personality.
Im trying to think of some really cool metaphor to end this post with to describe to you how easy friends are. But the fact of the matter is that no metaphor is simple enough to compare them to.
I made this poll to see just how many people responded as NOT liking having friends.
CHAT
. im sure my friend would be willing to accompany me