So it’s really interesting when you break down exactly what is occurring throughout the entire process of a cold approach, from beginning to end. You start to see and feel patterns…

As you spot the girl of interest you slowly begin making your way towards her, your mind blank with what is occurring and rather surrounded with a strong feeling of intent, to initiate and get an interaction moving in a positive direction. You know that you will come up with something effective, on the spot to initiate things… Just like a funny guy who cracks a joke over a random situation. You just know what to say… So, you begin the interaction with your throw away comment knowing that it will be good enough to carry you through into attraction and rapport.

As you gain more experience in cold approaching women, you will begin to notice that there is usually somewhat of a stiffness on her part to accept and embrace you right off the bat. Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes this won’t occur and you will be in right away. But most of the time during your cold approaches you will get that initial reluctance (just go with it).

It’s as this point that your experience and skill must kick in. Don’t fall into the trap of what I like to call “gap filling.” In other words, the temptation to over compensate for her lack of initial response in the approach, whereby you start asking questions and talking to much out of fear of rejection (Again created by an initial lack of rapport). You learn from experience that this can occur, so you expect it but won’t fall for it. Calm and easy is the key!!

My mindset is this… I will cold approach to get something going, but I know through experience that I must find a good balance between awkward silences or over compensating. I need to sustain a good balance of banter during those early stages of the interaction. To create a good balance of rapport and attraction.

I will approach with my comment, expect her to be somewhat tense, but then plough through knowing not to over compensate with talking to much. In other words I try to talk enough but still leave enough room for her to fill in gaps, whereby putting her in a place where she ALSO has to make an effort. This is important! read it again if you didn’t understand it.

This trick is to initiate the approach but then turn things around where she finds herself chatting you up. Then you can take the interaction in to whatever direction you choose. At this point if you’re smart, you will ensure that a sexual connection is occurring between you and the girls as opposed to boring and pointless chatter. This is a major sticking point for a lot of guys who get good at talking to women but not taking things further.

This is where you need that sexual confidence

To know within every facet of your being that you can give a woman an earth shattering experience, a one of a kind, in that when she is with you, she will feel like she is in heaven. You demonstrate an amazing character, a lifestyle, and through your subtle communication processes. You communicate to her that you are a sexual being and will blow her away in the bedroom. You need to have the self confidence and feel worthy of being the most amazing lover she will ever experience! And by believing and understanding that you exhibit these qualities. You naturally demonstrate them to her.

You flirt, tease and insinuate. You hold strong eye contact and role play. You allow yourself to be in the moment and let the animalistic side of your being seep through.

Have you ever experienced this?

That part of you that takes over and lives for the moment. Your animalistic part that knows how to turn a woman on, that knows how to lead her, and close her. It’s your true masculine/sexual part of your genetic make-up that communicates with her feminine sexual part of her genetic make-up (long words I know). They have their own language, their own set of rituals that will court and close each other. It all happens through you, leading you! You’re simply taken on a ride as these biological parts of your being take control. You let it happen as it happens through you.

She has this to, an animalistic side and its triggered by yours. It’s the part within us humans that needs to mate and knows what to do. A lot of times is suppressed, unable to express itself and achieve it’s objective. You who are struggling with the opposite sex may suffer from this suppressed state. It may feel like an inadequacy, a state of toxic shame (a splinter in your mind-Matrix). You want it but you can’t achieve it. You feel embarrassed and fear the implications of allowing yourself to let go, to be free and express your natural desires.

I do a lot of personal one on one coaching on this very topic. If you would like to find out more about what holds you back and how to work through it… ‘Day Game Dating offers’ ongoing private coaching that will address these deeper issues.

I hope you found this article helpful and thanks for reading.

Colin Dubb
Day Game Dating

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Kelly Austin
Admin
Day Game Dating (Australia)