I've never been more down in my life.

I've just recently returned from Ibiza, clubbing capital of the world. And instead of my first intentions of sleeping with as many girls as possible, I instead fell in love with one.

She was perfect, long black hair, gorgeous eyes, shiny white teeth that glistened when she smiled; not to mention a body to die for.

We slept together on the first night of meeting (i'm not going into how i did it, that's not why i'm posting this.) and from then on I was stuck.

You see, I don't know about anyone else, but normally when i sleep with a girl, I become less attached, I show less interest, and for some reason I don't see the need to chase or game them anymore. I don't know why this is, however it is irrelevant for this topic.

About a week and a half into the holiday, with only a few days remaining, I used and internet cafe and checked out her profile. To find a guy messaging her saying "not long now till i see you" and "i'm missing someone a lot"; my heart began to shatter slowly.

I thought if i could show her that i'm the one she should be with then she would put the commitment in to see me when we arrive back home (she lives 2 hours away from me in England). It seemed to be working, she was very affectionate and she was still sleeping with me regularly, and if not she would always be in my bed at night.

I fell for her. Head over heels. I wanted to be with this girl forever. Call it love, call it oneitis, call it what ever the fuck you want. I wanted her for good.

We spent the plane journey together, and had an extremley emotional farewell, where we were both nearly in tears. I text her in the car on the way home saying "you are a chapter in my life i will never forget." and she agreed and said that she had fallen for me even though she was trying her hardest not to. I broke down in the taxi and cried the whole way home. I'd never felt this way before.

Now.. I'm being ignored. She's obviously seen this lad and forgotten about me already. She hasn't text me in two days and I'm the most depressed I've ever been in my life.

I've lost her. And I'm starting to become unable to cope.

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Pickup Truck

"If it can be dreamed, it can be done"

Oh my god dude this is really sad I could feel myself welling up The answers of course were never going to be easy my friend.

It sounds like she would rather have stability with her current BF than to follow her heart and perhaps "take a risk" leaving him and getting with a new guy? Maybe she is stable and "happy" in her current life situation with this guy and there might be some sort of social consequences of getting with you?

I really dont know my friend as I am merely an outsider looking in on a situation you can only explain in a depressed state in a mere few paragraphs... The advantage is I can see it more clearly because I am not in love with this girl... I really feel for you my friend I have suffered heartbreak many many times and it always gets harder.

Here is one principle or "law" of human behaviour that might explain why she is ignoring you. People move towards things and situations that will give us PLEASURE and move away from things that will cause PAIN. Pleasure and pain govern everything we do, govern every decision. This may sound like a vast oversimplification but I assure you it is correct. Procrastination for example, it causes more short term PAIN to get off thy arse and do something than the long term PLEASURE we get from doing the task...

I do not say this to upset you but here's my theory: To leave this guy and get with you it would cause an upset in her balance of life in such a way, that there is more PAIN assosiated with the risk of meeting up with you again. However if she stays where she is there is more pleasure she can gain from doing absolutely nothing and keeping her life the way it was before you. I dont know what this other guy can offer her, money, stability, a family she is close to on his side? Or a family of their own planned together? Her meeting you and both of you falling for eachother was clearly unplanned, but for whatever reason she feels safer and more stable where she is right now, rather than taking action and taking a risk on you.. Im really sorry my friend my heart truly goes out to you..

I had a chick leave me once to get with some guy who was a *BORE*, he offered more survival value however as I had no family or stability, my family were hundreds of miles away and I never saw them (I live with them now) and I was on the verge of being made homeless... She left because in the end he had a loving family who took her in and supported her, and he kept her "balanced".. What a fool of her to think this guy would fix her messed up head, only she can do that!

So she left me, a guy who excited her, challenged her, gave her the best sex of her life and more adventure than anyone else she knew... She left me for stability and a "head fix"... I dont know if women are cruel or if this is simply a part of their inner instinct to survive... That is the question

What you need to do my friend, is get motivated, and go and meet as many other women as you possibly can, even if this girl isnt on the cards in a few months time, you will have options, and if she IS on the cards, you have preselection. Its no good you sitting around all depressed, you must go and distract yourself completely, so call up some dudes, and get out the house

Hope it works out for you

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"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible.”

Please. Please. Just let go of her!

Daydreamer, I just read your reply.

And I thank you. I understand clearer now regarding the PAIN and PLEASURE thory you discussed.

Its been a couple of months and I've moved on. However she still is present in my mind because she did give me some happy memories I need to keep hold of.

However, my life is on the up again and it's only a matter of time before some even better comes along; and this time i won't make the same mistake twice.

Thanks Again.

PT

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Pickup Truck

"If it can be dreamed, it can be done"

I totally understand you man - hate when that happens but You'll have to be strong!

It happen to me few times, and it sucks, but life ain't always fair...

I have to say that you need to fall on your friends and family on this one. I just came off from a similar relationship. Its been two months and its been very hard. I have had some really amazing friends to help me cope with it. look at it like this

your penis isn't broken, yet...

if you let this stress overtake you, your sex-drive will diminish altogether. If you don't believe me, read my first LR. I SWEAR it sucks. I cried my eyes out last night over this fucking incident.

part of becoming a PUA is having a mind like adamantium. It's not enough that we are physically strong, but our frame can never be broken. We train ourselves at work to become better, skilled people. We train our minds to take rejection from HB's time and time again until we no longer have approach anxiety.

It looks like there needs to be a chat-room for broken hearts.

ultimately, this is the hardest thing to get past. It's not easy. seriously, you need a hug from a sibling or your moms and know you'll pull through.

I am an artist. A hard-core, skilled mother fucking artist. If there is ONE thing I have learned in my industry is that there is always someone better than me.

If there's one thing I've learned from being a PUA is there is always a better woman. Even when we think the 'one' is the right one. If shes not chasing you down, hold your frame, take a deep breath and go sarge or seriously go to church. I don't know you, or how bad you're doing, but I know this is a fact. without getting super spiritual, Christ can help.

These are just options and suggestions.

What you need is to take your mind off her.

I'd say the girl was trying to "protect" herself from all the unnecessary drama and mental "harm", or whatever you call it, by ignoring you.

But don't be sad, she didn't just forget you and most probably you still cross her mind every now and then.

What I've learned is that girls don't forget stuff easily ! Most of the time it's a pain in the ass, but there are certain times when it makes up for it...

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There is NO secret ingredient. Theres just you.

Thanks for the continued support on this matter. Your feedback is being noted believe me.

It's great to see guys supporting each other on this particular topic, even when it does sound so stupid.

This is what the community is all about.

Peace.

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Pickup Truck

"If it can be dreamed, it can be done"