Hey everyone. Bit of a crazy situation that I haven't really dealt with before and I have no clue how to proceed, so any help would be great.

Been seeing a crazy hot Filipino chick for like 2 months now, but recently she's been pushing me away. Long story short is basically she's now gone to uni 2 and a half hours away, not really an issue in my eyes. She told my best friend how crazy she is about me and she's scared of getting hurt. After a bit of pushing she finally told me that her last 2 ex's both treated her like crap, cheated on her constantly and when this happened she went into a state of severe depression and that she doesn't think she could handle long distance again, I was just understanding and didn't really say too much about us or any sort of relationship happening. Also probably good to note that apparently i'm the only one she's ever told, bar her Father.

I want her, I want to find a way to let her know i'm not like her ex's, ect. However at the moment we've left it as finished, although we are both crazy about one another.
Really clueless on what to say, how to say it or whether there even is any point in saying anything at all.
Feel I should let this one go but I'd also kick myself if I didn't at least try....
Thoughts?
Bob

LDR is a big commitment if you are gonna be seeing each other regularly. In your position, I would suggest making her a fuck-buddy. I cannot tell you how many times I've heard the "I was hurt by my ex's" story. Whether her baggage is true or not is irrelevant. This story is designed to appeal to your "knight in shining armour" sensibility, so that you feel like you need to save her, after all, she's a damsel in distress, right? Wrong. She is just trying to nicely tell you that she doesn't want commitment. And it also reveals that she is attracted to assholes. So the crazy thing is, she would be more likely to want to be your girlfriend if you treated her badly and cheated on her.

The worst thing you could possibly do right now is promise her you would never cheat. You don't need to choose between a relationship or a breakup. You can try the best of both worlds. Just say "we can just casually date, nothing serious, because it's never gonna work long distance". Then keep it intensely sexual, see her once a month or so and fuck another woman closer to home in between.

Thanks, great advice. Exactly what I needed to hear and having the best of both worlds works for me!
again, thanks

Hey brother

Long distance relationships are never easy, and I would personally advise against it but you've clearly set your mind to it, so we'll deal with it as such.

Listen, your girl needs to be emotionally, not logically reassured. In other words, sit down and logically convince her, but don't dwell on it. State your points firmly and succinctly (2 hours away is nothing and can be done back and forth in a day! You have a strong bond. She can trust you, etc), but don't argue with her about it. Her issue is an emotional one and placing importance on the logic is counter productive. The distance is irrelevant - she can feel super confident if you live 6 hours away if your relationship is solid. So what you need to be dealing with are her insecurities and not your current predicament. Your situation is just a way for her insecurities to manifest, but she's been carrying them all along.

So let's identify what the issue is: Trust. If she can feel she can trust you, everything will go smoothly. Trust is a delicate thing, and this is where it gets tricky for you. I'm not speaking about surface-level 'you won't cheat on me' type of trust. I mean a deep trust where she can truly open up to you. If you can bring that type of trust out of a woman, she's yours for life.

So what's there to do? Nothing. But not a helpless nothing. You need to stay with her chaos, unflinching and unwavering. Do not worry about your relationship, do not allow yourself to be swept into her inner chaos. If you do, she will not trust you. She needs your strength now. She needs to feel your masculine presence. She needs to know you arnt a sniveling child that will beg to stay with her, nor are you a brute who can't understand her emotions and will react angrily. She needs to feel your unwavering love. This is subtle yet powerful and explaining it is even more difficult if I don't know you. Basically you need to stay with her, address her concerns logically and then hold your love steady. No pleading, no bending the knee, just put her emotions at ease by being present - you arn't going anywhere, and you can handle her the way she is without flinching. Only then will she trust you.

Keep me updated on how it goes and don't hesitate if there's anything more I can do for you.

Give. Love. Serve.
Mack

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Again, great advice there. Much appreciated. And everything you said made perfect sense. The only issue I have now is reinitiating the contact to then get this stuff out and to let her know that I am here. She went back home 2 days ago and we haven't spoke since, any suggestions?