HB and I went to HS together; I was interested but she wasn’t. A couple of decades later, we became friends, then FBs. (Me: “In HS, I couldn’t get the time of day with you. What happened?” HB: “I grew up.”) Initially happy with the state of things, I decided I wanted more--but I totally AFC’d it by being exclusive with, and totally focused on, her before she was ready to do the same.

Initially, she felt pressured and didn’t want to keep up the sexual relationship because of my feelings for her and her sense that she’d be committing herself to something, but she clearly liked me and liked the sex, and we spend the next couple of years seeing each other a couple of times a week and having the best sex of my life (she has multiples with ease, likes toys, is happy to watch porn, has a killer smile, is really smart, gives great head, etc.).

Despite the fact that we weren’t, in theory, a couple, she’d clearly become quite attached to me, had talked about relocating to Europe to be with or near me if I got a job there, etc. Ultimately, though, my tendency to be insecure and demanding, and my unwillingness to see other people, freeze her out in a serious way (I tried in piddling ways), etc., made it easier than it should have been (despite the fact that.) for her to get together with a much more relaxed and easy-going mutual acquaintance.

All well and good: I can easily see ways in which, if we were together, we’d drive each other crazy. But I still miss the sex and the banter (something else she’s good at).

We’re still friends, and we talk intermittently (mostly on the phone, since she’s now in Europe--I see her once or twice a year). Normally, a convo just involves relaxed, friendly catching up. The last time, though, I couldn’t resist some verbal escalation, and she totally took the bait, keeping things focused for the next minute or two on my having spanked her and her enjoyment of my having done so.

No doubt she was just in a random frisky mood. But (given a history of excellent phone sex--actually the start of our FB relationship) I kicked myself for not telling her, kiddingly, “If you keep this up, I’m gonna have to tell you to lock your office door.”

Wonder what it would take (by phone or text--she ignores email) to reignite some lust . . . .