Funniest thing I've read all day.

As for mine, the only thing that stands out in my mind was the last girl I went out with, she used to hang around with me and a couple of others and she was always cuddling up to me and stuff and she was a really good kisser so I set out to make her mine. I was in her house one night and her brother and best friend told me to just ask her out, so I was like "ok".

I took her into the hall and I didn't know what the fuck to say because things usually just progress naturally. I assume that after we fuck each other and go out on a few dates we're a couple, that's just the way it works... just plain asking a girl to go out with me isn't something I've ever done, so all I could muster was "Um, yeah... so... do you wanna be my new missus? Cos I mean, then we can fuck and stuff and that'll be pretty cool."

She said yes. Sweet.

"Um, yeah... so... do you wanna be my new missus? Cos I mean, then we can fuck and stuff and that'll be pretty cool."

Haha that reminds me of 40 year old virgin. "Then she said....coool! Your fucking me...awesome!"

i called a girl i was gaming by her friends name. strike one!

I think it's probably a tie between:

"I love you"

and

"We should move in together"

this one was pretty bad..i didnt mean it that way..but it came out very mean.....

i was part of this dance team group thing in highschool and there was this girl....

*During practice at lunch*
Girl: *eating her lunch*
Me: why dont you ever practice , always eating....
girl: *very shocked and hurt*
Me: i didnt mean that.....!

ever since then i think she hated me throughout the rest of our highschool years.

I've said alot of stupid things over the years, but the stupiest of all has to be:

'i really like you...'

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
Another has to be when i was 15:

'come on, you know you want to'

Not my proudest moment. They are the one's that stick out in my mind anyway, and i dont regret saying any of them.
Im sure the more i sarge there will be alot more to come.

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To effectively communicate, we must realise that we are all different in the way we percieve the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.

I don't know where to begin.

"You know I like you, right?" She has yet to ever aknowledge me again.

" I like you, and I want you to be my girlfriend." That was the last thing i got to say to her face.

"I'm here for you."

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd i was a needy zilch. No more though...

I had liked the girl for about 2 years, though due to distance and age I only ever talked to her on AIM. This was where the awkwardness hit its apex.


"I have like you since the first day i met you... my feelings have never really deminished since then... they have been kind of obscured at times, but they have always been there. You are very special to me. you hold a place in my heart like nobody else i have ever known."

I'm learning the wuss thing doesn't work as well as my mother would have had me believe

jesus i remmeber the last embarrasing situation i was in it was more like a cascade of stupidness - it was on msn to popular a hb9 in my school, this was when i was an absolute douche bag:
events in cronalogical order(fancy word whoo):

i talked to her on msn and saw her around school without talking to her

after a week or so i admited on msn i liked her

she had said she was going out with josh(the guy i got in a small fight with and hated) she said this to get me to back off

josh the ego bosting maniac said she had stripped for him when it had not even been 3 days

me the stupid guy i am started getting jelous etc and said to one guy that is a complete dick: shes a slut he walked off and got her

she asked why are you going round calling me a slut

now what would your response be because mine was well josh said you stripped for him after 3 days how can you not be a slut?

shortly after i found out she wasent going out with josh and also i asked her out once she said yes but then flaked

people seroisly need to be educated more especially guys that dont hang around with girls they tend to go by what movies are like and there total rubbish

after about half a year i saw her kissing 5 diffrent guys in a month now if your at my school that is slutty.

moral of the story:
honest is not the best policy
dont be gullible
dont be a douche bag

The dumbest thing I've ever told a girl...Well, you have to understand, she is crazy and I didn't know this at the time. And we were dating at the time...


Girl: So my parents kicked me out.
Me: That sucks. I'm sorry. Well, you can stay with me for a few days.


Big mistake! No further details needed, it's all history now. Here's the only other thing I can think of.


Fifth grade, long long time ago, we went on a field trip. A few of us are standing around a fountain, throwing coins in to make wishes and whatnot. Girl I didn't like was there, so I did this.


Me: *Throws coin in and closes eyes* (Rather loudly so everyone could hear) "I wish (name) had a neck."

I'm such a heartless bastard. Shalom.

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Your Humble Servant and Brother,

Cohath

mine has to be in mc donalds and i seen this chick befor in a club so she did know of me i hoped. so i went up to her and said... how was your day today deer! soon as i said it i didn't have a clue what to do i felt like a right cock.

Oh and one of my mates said this to some chick in a club which always makes me laugh.

goes and sits down next to her and says "Drunk enough?"

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oh rite

I'll make a book of them all some day, I promise!

Me: Hey ladies!
2 Girls: Hiee!!
Me: Looking beautiful!
2 Girls: Which one?
Me: BOTH OF YOU!
2 Girls: err-..
Me: Well there's one of you that I really like a bit better.
2 Girls: Go on.. (wondering which one's gonna get to kick me in the balls)
Me: Oh shoot! It looks like the club is closing. How about I write both of your numbers down and i'll get back to you.. err-show ya around.. umm.
2 Girls: *stare stupidly*
Me: I think someone just walked away with my jacket at the coat check!..

*walks off*

I've got a billion of em!

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on't you love te feeling of making someone's day?

Without a doubt it was the day i said "I DO" who would have thought 2 words could cost a man so much

Girl: You're cute.
Me: Hrbubba... hrem.. thanks.

She got a funny look on her face, and walked away.

Ive said alot of dumb things in my life to girls...the dumbest though had to be this which happened last year in Senior year...

Situation: I made out with 2 girls one night...one of them was an HB10, and the other was a B3 (not HB3), as well B3 was HB10's best friend...and after that night I began to try and sarge the HB10...anyways a couple of weeks later I was talking to a few of my friends about what happened that night, and among them was this HB6.5 from my school who just so happened to have the biggest blabber mouth in the school...

Buddies: So you actually made out with B3???
Me: Well I only did it cuz I was with the HB10 at the same time
Buddies: But still...B3...shes pretty gross
Me: Well as the saying goes..."You gotta slay a few dragons to get to your princess"
HB6.5 Blabber Mouth: ...so your saying B3 is a dragon?
Me: uhhhhhhh is that even debatable?

And days later the HB10 wouldn't even talk to me or look me in the face, and Ive never had a chance with her ever since...So basically I cockblocked myself from the hottest girl in highschool.