I fucking hate women.
I hate this stupid fucking game.
I hate that it's not as simple as just fucking saying hello and going from there talking to someone.

I really despise superficial bullshit PUA's say about concepts like jealousy and hatred.
I don't hate women because they don't like me. That's just frustrating. Verrrrry frustrating.
I hate them cause they're cruel and selfish. If a guy makes just a single fucking mistake they toss him aside and act as if he's a worthless piece of trash. This is seriously fucked up to think about people like this. As if they just don't matter. I hate them for that.

I'm done. I don't feel anything for anyone.
I can't love or care about something I hate. Well I sure as hell can't love something I hate... the caring part I might do out of my natural fucking instincts. That's another thing I really hate about women.

If I'm being nice it's always seen as some attempt to get in a girls pants. I'M JUST A NICE FUCKING PERSON!!! I don't fucking care if being nice doesn't get me anywhere. I really don't. I don't mind if it's just fucking neutral. If it does neither harm nor good for me. When someone is looking down on me for being nice, that's when I'm a little pissed and have the "Well, fuck you then." Attitude.

Usually goes down like this. I'm being nice because that's just how I am. Then some girl is too fucking braindead to notice I'm being nice to EVERYONE and not just her. She doesn't even realize the world doesn't revolve about her. She assumes my kindness is just my attempt to get in her pants and is either A. A Cunt B. A bitch C. Tries to take advantage of my kindness or D. A Bitchcunt.

Which is when I'm like "Look here gypsy, my world doesn't revolve around you. Get your fucking head out your ass and stop being a fucking cunt." When she, being the dumb fucking cunt she is, responds "OMG you were only being nice to get in my pants. You're such an asshole you think you deserve to get laid cause you're nice. I'm a dumb bitch hahahaha. Now that you aren't getting in my pants you're all of a sudden going to stop being nice to me, lol. Being rude to me wont make me like you. I'm a stupid cunt and I'm full of myself."
Which is when I say "Look bitch, I'm nice to EVERYONE. If you haven't noticed I ain't giving you any special fucking SPAM. Are you fucking stupid? Do you seriously believe anyone things that being rude will cause a person to like them? Do you not understand that I think you're a stupid cunt with her head way up her ass. I'll speak slower so you can understand. I. DO. NOT. LIKE. YOU. You think the world revolves around yourself and you're stupid as hell. Do not speak to me again. Do the world a favor: Find the nearest body of water and drown yourself."


Seriously I hate women. They suck. Fuck them all. They're all horrible selfish creatures.

I can't fall in love with anyone like that.


So, I go to the library. I figures since women suck ass I'm getting a some shit to occupy my time with. I mean bitches ain't gonna care about me unless I have something to give them... That's kinda shady. You know who truly loves you when you have nothing. I'm fucking socially awkward, suicidal, and broke. No one cares that I'm broken. No one loves me. People suck. I hate them.

Anyway, I don't want to think about girls. It get's me depressed thinking about it. Realizing no one will ever actually care unless I put on some stupid song and dance for her, have money, whatever. No one actually likes me for me. Or any guy for who that guy is, only what that guy can do. This is depressing.

Thinking about it makes me realize that I will probably never love or care about another woman for the rest of my life. I can't love anything that horribly selfish. It makes me want to kill myself. So I get books from the library and read them.


I was at the college campus reading my books. Two girls were sitting next to me. They were chatting about their classes and one was knitting something. Turns out it was a hat. I just ignored their conversation and read. I don't want to talk to them. NOT AT ALL.

Another table slightly further away was talking about anime and then started talking about obscure relationship issues. The two girls next to me said "Ew, gross." I don't remember what the anime table was talking about exactly, but it disgusted me these two girls were so horribly judgmental. I continue to read, another girl shows up and the chair I was currently using as a footrest I push over to her so she can sit down [without really thinking of it].

She doesn't even bother to say thank you... I don't fucking care really, I don't expect her to. I continue reading and they're trash talking the anime kids, then gossiping about how stupid people all need to die and how much smarter they are than other. I just read in silence.

Eventually I'm done with my book and I get up to walk off. Lucky me these girls didn't bother trying to talk to me. I wasn't at all interested. But they helped reinforce the concept that girls are horrible selfish evil creatures.


I don't know how to get past this.
I wish there was a girl out there to prove me wrong, that they aren't all evil cunts. I haven't met one yet. I don't know how to get past this at all and it's making me want to kill myself.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

Special moments I'll never forget


-I don't remember her name. I was 19 and in college.
She was Jewish. I don't remember where we met, somewhere on her college campus. I lived in Oberlin Ohio and she went to Oberlin College. I went to the community college. We'd hang out almost every day. I never even hugged her.

I just vaguely remember sitting on a swinging bench outside her dorm and talking about nothing at all. She kept looking at me. I think she wanted me to kiss her. I wanted to kiss her but wasn't sure and never did.


shit... can't think of anymore right now. I'm kinda drunk. I figured thinking of this and writing them down might be soothing a little bit.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

Stupid bitches who don't seem to grasp I have no interest.
Me and my friend go to the bar and the bartender is on the phone when we get there. I wasn't sure if this was a personal call or a work related call, but she was writing something down the caller was teller her so I assume it must've been work related.

In the middle of it she asks what we want to drink my body says what he wants and I say what I want. He wanted a beam and coke on the rocks and I wanted a "ghetto blaster" [a detroit made beer] draft. She puts two small cups side by side filled with ice. She's still on the phone and writing something down. I grab one of the cups and move it away from the other. She comes and pours the Jim Beam in one cup and is about to pour it in the 2nd when I interject and say "I wanted a Ghetto Blaster."
She puts the other cup away, doesn't apologize and pours me a ghetto blaster then tells us the prices of our drinks. Well my buddy owes me money and he's paying tonight, I just take my drink and wonder out to the fire pit as he's asking her if this other Bartender still works there [some girl he's thinks is hot]. I'm putting more wood on the fire out of boredom. There's no one out there... so when I'm done with my cig I'm back inside and there's not much going on. Some old guys playing pool, a stupid show on the history channel with "Radical scientist who're considered heretics in their fields" talking about some ridiculous idea founded by religion. Something about a comet causing the flood story heard about in so man religions... I don't care.

I'm get up and wander to the bar and sit down. Apparently I'm sitting next to the bartender's seat cause she comes back and sits next to me and says "I'm bored, play some music on the jukebox. Entertain me."
"You're the one at work, I'm the paying customer, it's your job to entertain me."
So, she respond with what she must think is a very good excuse, a reason why she's more deserving and entitled than I am "But I'm hung over and tired." She says
"What a coincidence, so am I." I respond.

Then I get a craving some chips and say "I'd like a bag of regular chips." She brings me a bag and asks "Aren't you gonna play a cute girl like me a song on the jukebox?"
"You're not so cute when you're trying to convince me to buy you stuff. I just met you and you're already trying to dive into my pockets."
And she says "It's just a $1, geeze"
I say "If it's just a $1 why're you trying so hard to get other people to pay for it? You're at work, you've got money. Are you that pressed for cash?"

I don't remember what she said after that. Just that I ignored it. She wasn't that attractive and she was a selfish bitch. When my friend came back in she said "Are you guys leaving yet?" very rudely. I called her a cunt told my friend not to tip her [he didn't] and we left.

Girls who act entitled like that don't have a chance with me.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12