Hey guys Im new here so bear with me.

Ok so here my story. Theres this girl Ive known for like 7 years. I can safely say I am deeply rooted in the 'friendzone'. However, Ive always had a thing for her but never really acted on it so much. When I first met her, there was some obvious affection being shown, but like an idiot I never really acted on it. She now has a boyfriend.

Now recently, she has been driving me to uni (my car is totaled) and Im on her way to college anyways so its no problem for her. I can describe our relationship as a really solid one but with alot of humor and messing around thrown in.

Now just recently, some of those feelings I used to have are sparking back to life, but Im not sure what to do. Ive been reading alot of these forums and learned so much, even if some of it I was already doing. So my big question is this:

How can I tell if she has any feelings for me? We always talk and send each other messages, and I play the Alpha Male role as best as I can in front of her. But is this enough?

Thanks for reading its much appreciated

Sounds like somebody has a case of oneitis lol.

If she's as good of a friend as you described, leave it be. Getting her to leave her boyfriend or cheat on him is possible but will ultimately tank your friendship. Even if you're successful and land a relationship with her, will what will keep you from thinking that she won't do the same to you when someone with better game steps into her life?

If it's a one-time thing you're shooting for, you can expect two reactions from her. If she steps out on this guy with you, its likely that she'll either be upset with herself and resent you, or will try to justify her decision by pursuing you.

Go out and close a handful of sets and see if she's still everything you want. If after a few sets you decide it's still a go, then we'll walk you through the painstakingly long process of getting out of the friend zone. Just keep this in mind: sets come and go, relationships flourish and faultier, but high-quality friends are incredibly hard to come by.

Hey doclift and thanks for the fast reply. Much appreciated!

Well in fairness I was just giving a general view of the situation. I didnt really go into too much detail which is of course purely my doing. As for the relationship I dont want to jeopardize it, shes one of my best friends. But in all honesty I really do think me and her somehow connect.

After reading all these amazing forums and posts by all you guys, I noticed that sometimes a girl could be going out with the wrong guy. Im not saying thats the case here, nor am I trying to interfere with her personal life, but I really believe we have alot in common.

And Im not COMPLETELY obsessed with her. Ive dated 3 other girls in the time Ive known her. But I really feel we can go to the next level. Theres chemistry between us.

If you would take the time to help me out, Id be really grateful for it. Once again thanks for the reply bro

Of course there's chemistry between you, you've been friends for so long. There's chemistry between myself and every female friend I have, doesn't mean I act on it. You said that you feel like you can go to the next level with her and there isn't a doubt in my mind that you could, the question is whether it's worth it.

It's simple, you either 100% want to give it a go with her or you don't. Crawling out of the friend zone is something that takes time and commitment. This isn't something you can approach halfass. You have to be sure that it's definitely what you want. It's her current relationship that is on the line here and the golden rule is to always leave a girl better than you found her. You run the risk of pushing her further into his arms and losing her as a friend. It's a decision that I suggest you take some time considering.

If it's a risk you're willing to take, then read on...

The ultimate goal here is to show her drastic self-improvement and to separate your new and improved identity with the you that she associates with friendship. This starts by taking some time away from her. Give her the gift of missing you. Your new lifestyle will make you quite busy anyway so it should be easy to do.

There are 3 pillars to happiness; health, wealth, and relationships. You're going to have to get all 3 of these aspects of your life in order before you can continue on with your target. What does this mean? It means you need to get your finances in check, get in shape and appear healthy, and improve the quality of your friendships and the relationships with your family. You can't cut corners here.

You will need to reappear to her as being the best you that you can be. Strauss has a model known as the LAS VEGAS model. Look it up, rate yourself, and then start improving those qualities.

You need to be a social juggernaut. Talk to everyone you meet and become the center of attention at every venue. Surround yourself with female attention but never boast about it.

When you see her, you need to be charismatic. Happy people are more fun to be with. Actions speak louder than words so never discuss your attempts to improve yourself, just do it. She'll see your progress. Your alpha male lifestyle will begin heightening her attraction to you. She'll see you having fun with other women and then some jealousy will kick in and she'll begin to wonder it would be like to be with you, more so than she already is.

When you hang out with her, escalate kino but never cross the line. Build sexual tension and then break it. Remember that one will always want what they cannot have, so be unattainable.

Never bring up her boyfriend (out of sight, out of mind) but when she does discuss him, listen carefully to what she says about him. She will undoubtedly reveal his shortcomings and then you're set. Never verbally tell her that you're better than him, rather show her.

Be fun and never directly tell her that you're into her. Play the game and ride out the sexual tension until she caves.

The advantage to this technique, is that even if you fail, you'll still be on top of your game with a slamming social circle.

Just like to say thanks alot for the detailed replies

Not to sound like an arrogant bastard or anything, but I am pretty confident of my abilities. Im definitely not the loner of a group, rather the center of attention. Im in shape (I play sports like 4 times a week and work out on a regular basis), Im a pre med major, and have plenty of friends. But I will gladly take the advice of distancing myself from her. Remember reading something similar to that (push pull technique).

So do you recommend that I stop hitching rides with her to uni? She obviously enjoys it and we have plenty of fun on the way (In fact the other day she hit another car and I got down and played the Alpha Male role of being the leader in the situation). I could tell she liked that

But all your advice is rockin'. Cant wait to start acting more sexual around her o see what results I get. But I did a search on the Las Vegas model you suggested but no luck. Could you elaborate further please?

Thanks so much for your time and effort

Hey again,

I found the Las Vegas model you mentioned. Its a great read, and I (unbiasedly) reviewed myself based on the model. I really think I have most of, if not all, of those qualities. Im coming off as over confident which sucks but Im pretty sure of it.

So what now? Do I continue to demonstrate these qualities to her, or distance myself like you told me to do in the other post?

Ehhh. Not saying this isn't a good thing but I'm sure you can do everything at the same time. Busy man is an attractive man

I agree with everything else.

Anyway, maybe while she's talking negatively about her boyfriend you can apply the strawman technique. Look into that, trust me it'll help you progress a lot faster.

I think you should keep riding with her, it's some one on one time between the both of you. Just follow doclift.

good luck

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I'm walking on sunshine! ;D

Hey Luffy

Will definitely look into the Strawman technique, thanks for the suggestion.

So how do I distance myself from her while I keep riding with her? So confused hehehe

Thanks guys this stuff is golden to me. Its appreciated

By easing out of the friend zone. Gradually apply sexual humor maybe, dont give her relationship advice if you are, and tease her dude. TEASE HER while you give her the I WANT YOU eyes... haha

Do not laugh at your own jokes lol

Just as doclift said, increase the sexual tension so much that she just caves in. Hope you know how to do that

IDK exactly what "friend" things you are doing but stop them.

Distance by stopping the friend acts.

_________________
I'm walking on sunshine! ;D

Wow sounds like solid A advice. Really looking forward to it.

Increasing sexual tension though, to be honest I would need some advice from you guys, since I have a feeling I will fall into the AFC routine. So please give me some advice on that one

Also, I was wondering if I could somehow figure out if she has developed feelings for me over the years. I dont find it highly out of the question since I get the feeling there are signals flying around. Ive broken the touch barrier with her long time ago, and she sends me text messages on a near daily basis, but its usually a stupid question like if Im going with her that day or if she wants to meet me at her car. Is this normal for a girl that has a boyfriend? (She isnt making one up though, Ive seen the guy).

Its these small things that are annoying the shit out of me. So any extra help would be appreciated. Thanks so much

Well if you're feeling the "chemistry" kick it up a notch and keep doing it. If you feel the tension lessening, you are doing something AFCish.

This is why I said give her the I WANT YOU eyes, all the time. I guarantee you she will say WHAT! Then you just reply nothing... (with a smirk of course).

Smirking seriously, thats my best weapon in picking up. Not smiling, but smirking. It shows you're happy with just a dash of sexual intentions

But please don't become an asshole when you tease to increase the tension, it's just a dush tactic. I've seen friends fail for doing it too much. Know her limit! For the boyfriend, the strawman technique should do the work and then just keep up with the tension.
Hmm, If you're not texting about getting a ride I suggest you stop for a little bit. She will question herself as to why you pulled away and miss the texts (the texts that involved actual talking).

Trust me dude you should't let it bug you. Be happy, she will pick up on that. My girlfriend had a boyfriend when I started talking to her, I didn't care

I won lol just like you will too. REMEMBER TO NOT BE AN ASSHOLE lol
And no problem man, ask away haha

_________________
I'm walking on sunshine! ;D

Escalating sexual tension is hands-down the most difficult part of the game to teach. This isn't what you want to hear, but it largely just takes practice and experience. Try it out with some sets of lesser importance and intentionally push the boundaries. This skill set requires the highest degree of confidence and micro-calibration.

I totally stand behind Luffy in his advice to make strong eye contact, and then follow it with a smirk. A woman can read the desire in your eyes better than any series of words you'll ever be able to string together. Interestingly enough, if you can get this look down, it will significantly decrease the amount of verbal game that you'll have to use.

You've asked us twice in this thread if there is any way that you can determine if she has feelings for you. You want assurance that the risk you're about to take is valid and warranted... you won't get it. There is no definitive way to determine that at this point in the game. Find that little remaining AFC inside of yourself and smack him into submission. Who cares if she's into you, attraction is not a choice. Assume attraction and soldier on.

I totally forgot about the strawman technique. I might pull that one off the shelf and out of retirement. Props to Luffy for bringing it back to life.

she has a boyfriend right now?
just stop seeing her all together if that is the case, cut contact completely down to minimum, none if you can manage it

then your goal is, for the next few months, go out and try to have sex with some other girls, get used to flirting, and actually being comfortable expressing your sexuality,

think of it like this, being the main social guy, aka ''alpha'', draws both girls and guys to you, as someone they like, ''like'' does not = sex, it means that they ''like'' you as a person, and therefore will be more attracted to you as a person (think of it as the same for guys, it has nothing to do with sex), when a person ''likes'' you, they are going to be more compliant for you, you say hey, could you watch my chair, they are more likely to watch your chair, and compliance can build momentum until before that person realizes it, they are doing your homework, and holding your stuff, and totally fine with it

now, guys get turned on with their eyes, that is the primary way we are aroused, a hot girl has a good rack, flashes her tits... bam, that's hot, incomming boner, not only that but for us it is instant, you just go from zero to horny, almost instantly

now, girls are a little different, they appreciate a hot guy, and totally love the idea of sleeping with a good looking guy, how ever if you just whip out your dick, though it will have an effect, it won't be at the same level as for a guy, girls are more turned on by touch and what they hear as well as what they see, it is basically what sort of things are going on in their heads, stiring up that moisture, you have to activate her imagination and get her thinking about you and her and sex, if you are after sex then this is important, you only do all that ''alpha male'' sort of stuff to get her to like you, so she is ''compliant'' enough for you to sexualize things, also for a girl getting turned on is not instant, it is like things slowly start getting worked up until they are soaking, it is sort of like cooking a frog in a pan, throw it in boiling, and the frog may jump out instantly, but because they are cold blooded (not saying girls are cold blooded), when you throw them in the cold water and gradually heat it up, the frog doesn't jump out and before you know it, they are cooked, girls are sort of the same, you gotta heat them up gradually, if you start off going 100 miles an hour it might be too sexual for them (how ever this approach can work fine, if she is already heated up, or seeking specifically what you are offering)

as underlined and bolded above, if you want to take a good crack at this girl, you need to act on your sexual intentions and express them, but as it stands right now the frame around the relationship between you and her is, catatonic friends, so you have to cut contact with her alltogether, to try to lessen the persception of what you are like, during this time, go out and do your best to have sex with other girls, practise sexualizing interactions and escalating towards sex, after you have noticed she doesn't have a boyfriend, or when you think you are ready for her, hit her up, and treat her no different then any random girl you practised on at a bar or where ever you were trying to meet girls, she will be the same as any girl you meet and try to have sex with, except she allready knows you, and she already ''likes you'' or you wouldn't be friends, and you already have a shit load of rapport, so she will be more comfortable with you, you just have to break this non sexual frame between you and her

realistically, you can not put all your eggs into this one basket, as you should give it a shot if you like her, but if she is non compliant, and does not have interest in you, then there is nothing you can do to change that, short of becomming a guy she is attracted to and learning to escalate smoothly and efficently, once you can turn on any girl you want, you can turn on ''the girl'' you want, just learn how to arouse women and move things towards sex, once you can do this, you can focus more on the fine tuning your game and working on the ''getting her to like me'' part, if you even care about that, after that point

GOOD LUCK

@ Luffy:

Will definitely try out that smirking technique. Sounds like a good sexual tension builder. Also had a read about the Strawman technique. Its pure genius, and looks like it can work in my scenario.

@ doclift:

Ive tried some fractionation techniques on other girls just for fun and it seemed to work great. So I really think I can apply it in the field properly. So Ill give it a try again.

@ pumpington:

Hey dude and thanks for joining in. Well Im not only interested in just having sex with her and thats it. Even though I am not suffering from oneitis, I still have strong feelings for this particular girl. And shes one of my best friends. So maybe the whole 'sleeping around' part isnt right for this situation.

Great advice guys so keep them coming!!