Hi guys:

I meet a girl on a university club. We talked after some of the club meetings for a total of about 1 hour. At some point she stopped showing up to the meetings.

I started talking to her on facebook and she said she is working full time over the summer to get money for the courses she is taking in September. She also sent me her phone number and said we should keep in touch.

Two weeks after she stopped showing up, there was a party one of the members of the club was organizing and I invited her to go. She ended up going and we had a good time but no clear IOIs, touching, etc. I also remember doing things that could be considered game like negs, not always paying attention to her, stuff like that. However when she had to leave I asked her if she wanted me to walk her to the subway (if was 10 pm in not the best part of the city). She hesitantly said no.

Then I texted her 3 days after to see if she had fun at the party. She said yes and that she had a boyfriend. Then I texted that he is a lucky guy. Then she texted we can still be friends. A week after there was a club meeting and I called her to see if she wanted to talk about it over coffee. She said I should send her an email. She sounded freaked out that I called.
I know this was not a good move.

A week after that I tried talking to her on facebook about some new people in charge of the club and she immediately goes offline.

This happened about 2 months ago before I knew about the game. On some days I still think about this girl. She sent an email to another member of the club that she'll be back in September.

Should I try getting her then? If so, how (a very general outline)?

Something I came up with after reading the Mystery Method is the following (he mentions a similar situation):

Not talk to her until she talks to me.
Disqualify myself so that she think I forgot about her.
DHV by peacoking, participating more in the club, getting a girlfriend, etc.
Try to find out if she actually has a boyfriend in September.
If so run some game.

Does anyone have anything to add to the above list besides not bothering with this girl?

I know this might be considered a one-sis but I only felt like that with a girl 2 times out of 10 relationships.


Thank you for your time.

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F**k it, we'll do it live!!! - Bill O'Reily
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I don't believe you read mystery method. It clearly states not to ask a girl to go to coffee because to her it sounds like " want some dick? ". If you're serious about applying the things from the book then have options. Isn't that the point of being a PUA? to get all the girls you could ever want.

P.S. I wouldn't use Mystery Method too much infield because i've been told by a girl who i tried to run the best-friend test on that i'm the fourth guy to say that to her. LOL.

hope that helped
- Katon

I asked her for a coffee before I knew about the game.

What I don't get is that she can accept going to a party with me but after I say your boyfriend is lucky which only states I have 'some' interest, and we agree to be friends, she is pissed off that I called her for coffee to talk about the club which she knows I'm really into. My only intention was to keep in contact up to September. But I digress, in the Mystery method it also explains why something what makes sense to a man might not make sense to a woman.

If I shouldn't be using the Mystery method, what other method do you recommend for September? This is if I'm not able to get a girlfriend by then and forget about this.

Thanks for the help.

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F**k it, we'll do it live!!! - Bill O'Reily
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Terminator, to be honest, your message shows that you have some one-itis to this chick. It's absolutely acceptable to like a girl but in this case you have already sacked with this particular girl and the more you try to make things better, the worse the result.

I would advise you to let this girl go and to not try her again.

Mystery Method or any other book-stuff are the last things I'd use with this girl.

Try to make yourself a more indifferent and "natural" dude and if/when you some day accidentally meet this girl again, SHE will be the one chasing when she sees you've changed (she sees you're not trying her anymore). So don't try this girl anymore. Ever. If she someday gets attracted to you, let her do the seduction and even then, you should keep your frame. You yourself shouldn't give any effort to this girl anymore

The more you do the old hard-trying stuff to her, the more freaked out she will be.

After all this happened, I started working on my game. Mostly my inner game.

This is some of the stuff I did this summer:
Read >5 books on game (outer and inner)
Started to practise for a Marathon (lost > 15 kg)
(I was not fat but starting to get chubby)
Got a nice tan
Started to dress well, wear good sunglasses
Started to cook
Joined a bicycle club (+ started working on mine as a hobby)
Got in touch with old friends + made new ones from the new club including a semi-famous visual artist and people from other countries
Started sarging with people from this forum + going to karaoke and now I'm 100% ok with openings
Got some singing lessons
Started to get invited to way more parties in August (now I have about 3 a week)

However I haven't gotten into a relationship after what happened. And I still have some attraction for this girl.

Then a friend (that knows a friend of hers) told me the following:
When this party happened her boyfriend was in the US and they were breaking up.
She bought an appartment for the 2 of them and then had to sell it. She had a party were she was single as late as the middle of July. At the party everone was married or with a boyfriend (she's good looking but she's around 30 so she won't have an easy time finding another single guy)
So I decided that I had to do something (either get her not talking to me again or not) so I sent her a message on facebook at the beginning of August along the following lines:

Did not mean to make you feel unesay by asking for coffee.
I have coffee and lunch with all my other friends.
Decided I could not continue my friendship if you responded that way.
After we saw each other that's why I did not want to speak with you (we saw each other at the university on a weekend at the end of July but did not speak to each other).
Now I realize I chose a friendship over work (I was actually busy in May/June) and I regreted it.

She answered with the following and added me on facebook:

She forgot to reply to my message.
Thanked me for being forward.
She is happy to be friends and not interested in anything more.
Appreciates the honesty.


The message I wrote is mostly a lie. I didn't chose work over her, I just got the impression I really messed up and did not know what to do so I didn't contact her.
Also as part of my game I added + tagged myself in all my pictures on facebook about the stuff I did this summer.

The thing I did wrong last time was showing I was attracted without getting attaction from her first. Rooky mistake. I also think I did not come off as exciting at all and she just forgot about me (at that time I was just working on my thesis and nothing else). Now I know better and I worked on getting a more balanced life.

Now my question is: should I try again? I'm lying there too unless I get a girlfriend in the following weekend (which I'll try to do anyways to get her jealous). My actual question is: how should I approach her again? She will probably be back to the university club next week.

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F**k it, we'll do it live!!! - Bill O'Reily
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Nah... The more you keep trying this girl, the greater the chances are that you fail even more...

There are many other, even greater girls to come your way Trust me.

You should use some NLP tools or Emotional Freedom Technique to get over that girl.

I really advise you to give up this girl. If you still keep echoing for her, it will reduce your general emotional happiness (and it will also make her creep out more and more cos' of you).

I know exactly how you feel right now and my honest advise is to let go.

Been there, done that. : ) It's easier than it sounds.

What about the following approach:

Talk to her sporadically. Based on my message and her response I can invite her for lunch every once in a while and she'll not take it as a date. I'll wait until she goes back to the club first.

Get a girlfriend or more and either the one-itis goes away or maybe she'll be interested or I'll give up. It's not like I'm not trying; I talked to more girls last month than in the last year. I won't try staying friends for long if I don't get a girlfriend because yes as you said this has decresed my happiness close to the whole summer and my concentration at work.


I know I'm obiously biased but if you read everything that happened and her facebook response is true (she wasn't weirded out when I asked her for coffee after the party and just forgot about the message), then it might be possible to try again.

She might have lied in the response just out of politeness, I have noticed girls doing similar things many times after I was rejected.

The other thing is that I have done a considerable amount (at least by my standards) in improving my inner and some outer game when we weren't talking and just talking about it with her (indirectly of course) might change her mind. Plus she is probably still single (broke up about a month ago and is relatively old, she is 30, I'm 26).

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F**k it, we'll do it live!!! - Bill O'Reily
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listen to you heart.

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