So I went about busting up my AC Joint in my shoulder hitting somebody in a college lacrosse game (he went down hard, never saw me coming, unfortunately, my pads were out of place and that fragile little bone on a titanium helmet is not a pretty collision). If this lesson has taught me anything it is:

A) Newton's Third Law, equal and opposite reaction upon two bodies of matter
and
B) People are drawn to you.

So while I'll never get that question wrong in Astronomy or Physics again, I happened to find myself at a comedy show in my college's theater last night. On stage was performer comedian from a recent reality show. As the crowd gets restless funnyboy decides to pick on some of the people in the front rows. Me, sitting there with my girlfriend with my arm in my sling look like an easy target.

The dialog goes a bit like this:
Him: "So what happened to the guy in the yellow sweater up here."
Myself (reserved): "Don't worry about it."
Him: "No really, like I'm worried about you or something (sarcastic twit), what really happened DUDE?"
Myself: "Lacrosse (smile), (cracked neck to the side and smirked, girlfriend cozys up closer)."
I'm sure the twit expected like car accident or some shit, but he stood there for several moments, unable to think of something witty to say.
Him: "Oh... lacrosse.. thats a pretty tough sport... um..."
Crowd: *snickers, awkward silence*
Him: "Yeah you look like a huge tough guy with a pool skimmer out there M I RITE?"
Unfortunately for him, a few of my teammates were in attendance, with a harem of fine ladies and just kind of stared him down.
Him: "Alright.. um, so what's the deal with *insert whatever is next in routine."

So his attempt to DLV me failed, and I got some cute winks from girls around me, despite my arm candy.

This brings me to my next point, I've heard nothing from my friends but "Dude wear that to the next party we go to, seriously, it is a pussy magnet."

I however, disagree to an extent. I feel that although it is quite the peacock item, perhapses I am subliminally depicting lower value, appearing as a weaker person, what funny man here thought he could exploit, unless my story is told. This can work to my advantage as an opener, and the story can DHV me, but there's much to be said in a first impression, before I even open my mouth.

So what is your take on this situation?

Well, just coming out of a neck-brace, I had some first hand experience with this. While the.... lets call it an impairment for lack of a better word :-p, might bring about subliminal DLV, as long as you're practicing good game, and opening enough sets, your story will, if told in the proper manner, DHV enough to overrule the earlier DLV, and then some.

For example, I told mine something like this, depending on the situation.

Well, we were doing great, and I play in the middle, which is the best palce to play, but both of our forwards got hurt, and we needed someone to step up there, so I was the best suited uninjured player and about 5 minutes after i moved up, i go up for a header, and the kid knows he has no chance of jumping anywhere near as high as me, so he just table tops me, which is incredibly cheap. I ended up wining the ball, but landed on my head, and part of my arm went numb, and i couldn't move without severe pain. So they called an ambulance, but when the guys came, it didn't seem like they knew what they were doing. While i was being trained to be a lifeguard, i learned how to properly deal with a spinal injury, and those guys were not doing everything right, so i had to help them out, which probably saved me from severe nerve damage. Then they kept offering me morphine, but i didn't want such a dangerous drug from people who were clearly untrained, so i demanded darvocet, or an equivalent. My teammates were so pissed off that 13 seconds after i was taken to the hospital, they scored and ran by the bench and yelled at the kids face. I should be ok in a few weeks though, and we play them again. Number 8 best be watchin out.


that story in normal words....

i got put at forward for some reason, and this kid cheap shotted me, and i fell on my head. we scored 13 seconds after i got taken off the field to the hospital by EMTs. I should be ok in a few weeks when we play them again.


as you can see, i have so much DHV in there, its almost ridiculous.
1. i play midfield
2. our other forwards got injured (later, showing i'm not a pussy)
3. cheap shot
4. i won the ball
5. i saved myself from severe nerve damage
6. i knew more than the EMTs
7. i'm a trained lifeguard
8. i know about medicine
9. my teammates were mad that i got injured

i told the story, with enough detail to majorly DHV, but also leave enough blanks for questions. (thats where different versions came in. one for people who knew soccer, and another for those who don't.) the only downfall i saw with the... impairment... was it made kissing, etc. much harder to do. i did end up with a lot of numbers after this though, haha

granted, i also had LOTS of time to think this out, lol

As long as you act just like you have already and don't sit around sulking and looking like a little girl because your arm is broken, then yeah, its a big DHV. It makes people think that you are tough for breaking your arm and just carrying on like usual. It has a good story behind it (make sure to spend less time on the specifics and more on what was going through your head at the time). I broke several bones in my right hand punching a bus last year due to absolutely everything going wrong and getting really pissed off. I had a great story to tell, how it got to that point and what happened after and I just acted like it was no big deal and I was basically the life of every party.