maybe im too young still to understand but I don't quiet understand how grown men who bring home the paycheck and support their family have to do what their wife says.

Many car ads you see read something like: Car must go, it's either the wife or the car.

wife wants to go to opera this weekend, and I have to go to make her happy.

But in the pua scene, you spend your money on yourself, you don't ask others for opinions, and you certainly don't give your girlfriend the task of writing up a budget.

I just don't understand how a depreciating asset can hold so much value.

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Blogs and summaries of everything I have learned and field tested.

society is fucked, in case you never noticed

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Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

Sounds like the wife is in control of the relationship and maybe a bit selfish as well (as in not caring what the husband wants).

Your supose to spend money on your partner .

but ( i think im right in saying this mystery proposed a theory of a 2 way giving system) I forgot what its called but the idea is

Guys want sex

Girls want money spent on them

In order for this to be equal one has to give the other what they want to get something in return.

The media perpetuates this image of men as bumbling fools. Basically to appeal to women who are the biggest consumers.

But just because you're married it doesn't mean you have to be a doormat. It's up to you. Women want a real men, but they'll push your buttons to test you. If you give in like a wimp they'll only despise you more, perpetuating the cycle. If on the other hand you stand your ground you'll have their respect. The problem is the ghost of an expensive divorce gives many married men the shits, so they'll just give in like spineless wimps at the slightest sign of opposition.

I'm in favor of marriage, but one has to be very careful who one marries and make clear what the terms of the relationship are.

This.

This is why guys, especially those that have money and/or assets to protect should get prenups. Personally I think prenups should be mandatory. I also think it should be harder to get married and get a divorce. As too many people seem to get married at the whelm only to get divorced a few years later. Having a high divorce rate does no good for society.
And seeing what girls are like today, I have to say the pickings are very slim at best.

So marriage is prostitution then? As what you are describing.

haha thats one way to look at it

Sex acts and money are the two most important currencies. Most interactions between men and women can be boiled down to prostitution if you think about them long enough.

Dude you are talking about the extreme PUA wannabe. The ones who havent understood what it is all about.

Of course you care what others think, anything else is just an egotrip that is gonna end in failure.

It is not about doing what your wife says, and it is not about just caring about yourself. it is a calibration. It is about being two people feeling good together. When will people learn that a relationship is not a war, it is an alliance...

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

Or put them in an economical standpoint. But either way you are right.

There are three things I'd like to address here.

There are two things I'd like to address here.

The First: While the media does tend to perpetuate the idea of men as bumbling wife-pleasers, it isn't a stereotype without merit. Not every man sees himself to be attractive, and most men believe that the woman they have somehow, miraculously tricked into marrying them is the one and only shot they'll ever have at reproduction. If anything, I would point fingers at the media for perpetuating the idea that normal people are somehow unattractive. You and I are not the pinnacle of pretty, or we'd be underwear models (if you're an underwear model, please disregard this statement). But we manage, and even without pick-up training, we'd muddle through and find mates and end up in some monogamous marriage hell with women we find only barely attractive and who have gotten steadily uglier as the baby pounds keep adding up.

AFCs get women. They do it all the time. Some of those men are the men in the adverts.

The Second: Just because we're pick-up artists and we can replace our mates at a whim doesn't mean we can completely disregard the needs, wants and desires of those mates. If you're in a long-term relationship and you want that relationship to last a while, sometimes sacrifices need to be made to accommodate the woman you've formed that relationship with. There will be days you can't do a thing you want to do because your long-term girlfriend or wife wants you to do something else, and because you're not a complete asshole, you're going to do it to keep her happy. Relationship management is an art form, and it requires a certain fluidity; you need to be able to push your needs in against hers, but at the same time bend to make sure hers are met. There needs to be a balance to it, or the relationship is going to turn into a fucking mess of dramatic, emotional bullshit.

Ezo has the right of it here: a relationship is an alliance. If we're going to look at sex and money as the currencies of relationships, then of course this shit is going to boil down into some miasma of empty promises and prostitution. If that's all a relationship is to you, you should probably avoid ever getting into one. But if you instead look at a relationship as an exchange of favors, each favor from one partner meeting the needs of the other, then you instead build a powerful structure of emotional supports. That structure, properly built, can be the groundwork for a long-lasting, loving relationship that spans years.

So yeah. Sometimes you need to go to the fucking opera because your wife has a need that you are attempting to meet; she needs to feel appreciated, like she's worth the effort of a lovely, classy night out, doing something that is widely acknowledged to be both expensive and culturally intimidating. What those commercials don't show is that, after the opera, they watch the football game he tivoed and she makes him some popcorn and asks questions so he can feel smart answering them.

The Third: Being financially dependent on one another can be a terrifying prospect. When you own a house together, and you're feeding a family of four, and you're trying to pay down the last two months of bills that seem to be piling up more than whittling down, money becomes a huge stressor. Finances are the biggest reason for divorce in North America. If you go out and buy a new sports car with all the trimmings, of course she's going to be pissed off. Even if you just buy a new car, doesn't matter what kind, that's an extra financial burden that the family, not just the man of the house, has to absorb into the monthlies. If you're both working, some of the money that goes into that car is hers. If she's not and you are, then she is relying on you to provide for her and the kids and the dog and the cat, and has every right to be concerned when you start adding new financial loads to the budget. If you're not working and she is, and you just bought a new car, she should divorce your ass right now because you're obviously a motherfucker. Finances are a big deal, and money decisions should be made together in a marriage.

All of this gets even more fucked up when you start looking at multiple long-term relationships. When two of the spouses are working, but the third isn't, and the fourth is on maternity leave, things get really complicated. ^_^

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-Monkey's Little Brother, Spud

I can't disagree with anything you say, monkey. What I'm advocating is not being a selfish jerk, but being a man. You must take care of your woman's needs because your a man. That doesn't mean you have to be a doormat. Unfortunatley many men see their wives as strict mommies, and do things out of fear rather than doing them out of a manly sense of responsibility.

VEry well said monkey.



Relatioships = balance

not only balance in the realtionship itself but in each person themselves.