I made the mistake of inviting a HB9 to a weekend event a week and a half early. She said "yes" to going with me.

A week before, we talk on the phone one evening and she mentions that she'll be taking a flight to a photo shoot during the weekend. I reminded her about our plans (which fall on the same weekend) and she admitted that she'd completely forgotten about our date. She told me she was 90% sure that they'd be calling her for the shoot.

HB9 says that she'll know for sure on Wednesday (yesterday) and that most likely she'll be back in town in time for the event anyway! Anyways today is Thursday, we've talked throughout the day but no mention about whether she'll still be able to go or not. I was thinking about bringing it up but decided against it.

Or at least until I'd get some advice first. So what should I do, fellas?

No-go.

Too early.Spontaneity is an essential factor.

People have plans man.The sooner it's set,the more of a chance nothing else will happen.

PLUS,if the girl is just getting to know you,they have a tendecy to replace a potential date with something better(You invite her to coffee for this friday,last saturday,instead of thursday.Because you called her last saturday,she had more time,and instead got a call 6PM tuesday to go to Club Rapture at the same time as you're date.Had you called thursday,it would have been likely the coffee would be rescheduled for friday,and you both get a coffee,#close,and you just might hit up club rapture with her).

Got it.Gooooood!

Hey BlackBull,

I appreciate the response. You're right, arranging a date too soon is just as bad as too late. So, any suggestions for how to make this weekend still happen? She did say "yes" and that she'll probably be in town anyway. How do I make it happen without being/sounding like another AFC?

i would forget about it, tell her something's come up and you can't make it anyway.

Wait a few days then call her and say you're free on 'such a such' day, and suggest you hang out 2gether. if she sez she can't make it or is busy, call her on it. Say how you thought she was a spontaneous chic that didn't take life so seriously, but u were mistaken.....or something along those lines. ya gotta DLV her somehow.

DM

*UPDATE*

I failed to mention that we work together. Wednesday we made out in the backroom at work. Everything else was great too, but the day came and went... I didn't say anything. Thursday things were cool, we talked but neither of us brought it up. Didn't call her that evening. Friday came, heavily negged her, part of it was technique and the other part bitterness. Paid more attention to other co-workers around her, only talked to her about work-related issues, flirted with someone near her at the end of my shift and left. She seemed in a bad mood all day, don't know if part of that was due to me or not.

I called her that afternoon but no answer. Just got a call from her today, Sunday. Took the advice and called her on it. I started by asking how her weeked went. She told me everything she did. Stayed home on Friday, went out with her friends on Saturday, etc...

Me: So I guess you didn't end up going to California then?

HB9: No, it didn't happen... OH MY GOD! We were supposed to go out yesterday.

Me: Yeah. I'm not gonna lie, I'm disappointed in you.

HB9: You never said anything! Why didn't you say anything? I would've gone!

Me: Let me walk you through this: a week before yesterday...

HB9: You should've said something, so.. that's your fault. Don't start getting analytical....

Me: Listen. A week before yesterday I asked you. You said, "yes." It turns out a few days after you already forgot about our plans and arranged to go to Cali for that photo shoot. Then you said you'd have an answer to me by Wednesday. Wednesday came and went... Thursday came and went... Friday came and went...

HB9: Well, I called you Friday but you never answered the phone.

Me: No, I called YOU on Friday and you never called back.

I said something like "if you forgot all about it then it wasn't important." She had to let me go for the time being because her kid was crying in the background. It turns out he's sick (like yours truly is right now-- strep throat sucks, ya know?)

Anyways, the whole time I was calm but firm, like I've learned you should be. If you get emotional you DLV and increase the other person's value, but you should also be firm and call people on their mistakes basically to DHV yourself. You show that you respect yourself and that you should be treated fairly-- you set the rules.

Anyways if she calls again tonight, I plan to say something like-- "you have a planner so you don't forget things," "When you hang out with your girls things don't seem to fall through," and/or "I'm not going to chase after you to hang out with me, if you do, you do. If you don't then you don't. I respect myself after all." Something along those lines.

What do you guys think?

Anyways I'm typing this not just to get it off my phukkin' chest, but also as a kind of FIELD REPORT. I'll update later when something comes up. Peace.

If she REALLY wanted to go out with you, she most likely would not have forgotten. Still a possibility though, never know.
I don't like that too much...
Make sure that if you are going to say something like this make sure she knows that you weren't sitting at home waiting for her to call, because it can easily be interpreted as that lowering your value big time.
The signs were pretty clear before hand but now it is blatant.

Why would she want to hang out with you if you are going to guilt trip her? Do you really want that? Cmon man, get a girl who really wants to hang out with you where there are no guilt trips. It actually makes it FUN to be with the other person.[/quote]

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Do what you love...

Yeah, good point. Anyways I left it at that, I just get heated quick (in general) when I feel I (or someone) has been treated wrong. I put myself back in check, dropped it and continued casual talk as if nothing had happened. Looks like she didn't mind doing the same. I don't usually act like this but this is my one-itis. Looks like we're in good standing (again).

Told her I was sick (which is true), hopefully she's thinking "I'm sure maybe that's why that happened." Anyways she said she'd bring me medicine tomorrow, another sign that things are cool again.

I've learned not to ask too early and I guess from here on I've gotta work on DHV. The reason I wont give up is because it's a challenge to put into practice the things I'm beginning to learn. I don't like starting too easy, know what I mean? Thanks for the feedback bro.

Don't argue with girls, it's just pointless and you bring yourself down.

no worries.
everyone gets heated sometimes when certain buttons are pushed
at least you were able to save yourself from one of thsoe comments
GL with your one-itis though hehe

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Do what you love...

Cancel it on her!!! Just say, i'm going to a party, can't do saturday. x

Tell her to forget about it and bring another chick. She'll come back, women love a challenge. She'll be begging you to take her.