Disclaimer: I'm not looking for any pick-up tips or for anyone to tell me that I have one-itis.

I got with a girl I've wanted to get with for a really long time and after a couple days it's gone sour and is now awkward. Today I was out partying and my ex-girlfriend from another school was there and I saw her and we talked but it was kind of awkward.

I've been thinking about it for a while and I have some comments to make.

A.) The first girl is hot and the sex is good. She told me she wants a non-exclusive relationship. That should make me happy as fuck - but it doesn't. One night stands are great but the second you feel something for a girl it sucks to think about her getting with other people.

B.) Relationships are never a team. Relationships should be about mutual love and devotion. With the exception of those first couple months in a relationship - that's never the case. It's always one person wondering what the other thinks and if they like them as much. That's why it's always better to be with someone who likes you just a little more than you like them. There's so much unspoken shit and so much you never know - it drives me nuts.

C.) Despite what goes on with PU, girls still hold the sex. It's still theirs to give and ours to win. Because of this, girls always hold the power in relationships. When they hold the power in the relationship, they hold the power to our emotions. Ever been with a girl and felt down because you're not sure what's going on in the relationship? Ever noticed how with one phone-call, one type of look, or one txt message she can lift you right back up and make you feel great? And then with another day passed she can shoot you right back down.

So - I'm in a funk. It's not one-itis because I'm not obsessed with either of these girls. I also know that I could go out and get with other girls, but I just don't really feel like it. I'm in a funk. Any suggestions?

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You're not gonna be having any less sex with her if you don't talk to her.

Man... this is rough shit.

I think you've had bad experiences in relationships. You sound like one of my roommates btw, who's a total natural, but unhappy in every relationship he gets into.

A) Of course it doesn't make you happy, but you have to DHV and show confidence by endorsing it. It sucks to be you right now, but you're going to have to tough this out. There's a good chance you'll lose this girl. You have to recognize and be OK with that from the beginning. Make plans accordingly.

B) I disagree here, and I think you've decided this too early. I've had at least 2, probably 3 relationships that were what you describe as "never the case." You have to intentionally and deliberately build a strong secure relationship with someone. It is very difficult, but very doable.

I may suck at PU still, but I have very good relationships.

C) Again disagree, but I think it's because you may have never had a relationship like I described in B. Sex should be mutual, and in a healthy relationship it is.

Best of luck man. Hang in there. THings WILL look up. Keep that in mind.

++++I also know that I could go out and get with other girls, but I just don't really feel like it++++

You don't "feel" like it? What you are in the process of doing, is, whether you realize it or not, you are TRYING your hardest to get out of the game. You want to stay in your comfort zone. We all do. You have to force yourself out of your comfort zone in order to be really successful with women.

Ironically, the BEST thing you can do to increase your chances of success with the woman you are gettin one-itis with, is, get involved with other women. Women ONLY want what they can't have. If you're getting action from other women, she'll sense it and that will make you more desirable to her.

"The Game" is a mindset. It isn't something you can just turn on and off. What you are trying to do is stay out of the game by getting yourself an exclusive girlfriend. It's a logical decision that nearly EVERY male makes. It's because you don't want to deal with the feelings of rejection that are unavoidable when you play "The Game".

Approaching women and getting blown out of the set...it hurts. But the more you play "the game", the more you get blown out. After a while, it doesn't bother you anymore. However, if you avoid the game by trying to get into an exclusive relationship, your girl WILL cheat on you at the drop of a hat while you lull yourself into a comfort zone that doesn't include approaching other women because "it's wrong". You see, that's the key difference between women and men: Our word is bond, their's isn't. They'll let their emotions take over, follow their instincts and "rationalize it" later.

Right now, the VERY best thing you can do is get back out there and meet more women. Get some more women involved in your circle who text you. Get some ugly ones too. It doesn't matter. When you get a text from one of them, it makes those days that pass without attention from the one you really like the most go a LOT easier.

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Later,
Alphagame

The title should be more like, "Why the War of the Sex's sucks."

All of the shit you mentioned is a two way street.

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Amor est Vitae Essentia