Hey everyone. Im sure many of you have seen an abundant number of posts asking "is this an IOI?" or "do you think this message means she likes me?" Indicator's of interest can be tricky things. Sometimes they are blatant (a girl just grabs you and kisses you) but most of the time they are more subtle, which is why many are left wondering.

First off, girls wonder about IOI's too. Girl's will analyze every text, every message, and every word you say until their brain physically cannot withstand the cognitive load. Then, they will ask their friends. So don't think that you are the only one baffled.

Anyway, my point is this. To make your post more effective and to get more quality responses, include more background and context. If you tell us that a girl said, "oh, you're horrible"...the two meanings of that are drastically different. I have noticed many posts that could just some clarification.

On a deeper note, there is not a set list of IOI's. Yes, they can be confusing, but go with your gut instinct. If you get a sense that they like you, then they probably do. I know that men and women are afraid of rejection which keeps them from making a move, but chances are, the girl will hold out longer than you because that is what society tells women to do. Get out and sarge more. The more practice you get, the more exposure to IOI's you will receive and recognizing them will be natural.

Next time you think you get a possible IOI and want to test it out, try some kino. Don't analyze it, just react. First, it rewards her behavior so if it was an IOI it will encourage her to send more IOI's. And secondly, her response to your kino immediately after an IOI is more telling than randomly distributed kino.

Agreed. I like this post B!

She's right you can look for IOIs but really just notice them when you see them but don't look for them. You are mostly just trying to get an overall feel from her based on her body language and other things. Like Bontia suggests if you get an IOI try some kino to see what happens. That will give you a great idea of where things stand.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Thank you! some one who gets me!
i have thought about writing something like this too
take care

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IM A GIRL that likes girls .. its simple.

You should go out with Bonita.

Agreed. But I think part of the problem is that you have guys that don't even know what an IOI is. I think more than anything they need Flirting 101 or something.
Very true, but I do think there is a general "list" of them tho.
I disagree with the kino as even tho a girl is showing an IOI, she may not be open to physical contact yet. But I will say at least reward the girl with attention. In other words say hi to her and go from there.

If you think kino = a bear hug then yes, stay away. Otherwise an "under the radar" touch is absolutely the best reward for an IOI, are you kidding? The best form of "attention" is "touch". A "hi" is the AFC's cover for . . . well, "I'm an AFC . . Hi!"

Going kino does not = GRAB HER.

Just flip your hand up and exclaim, "Oh . . . look at you!!" 100 out of 100, the girl will grab your hand. . . Thousands of other ways to do it . . .

Thanks guys, and girl, for the replies. I'm glad other people see where I am coming from on this.

Jurupa, I agree, there is a "general list" meaning some things are IOI's no matter who does them (i.e. stroking someone's thigh). But many are contextual. The reason why I am not very big on overanalyzing IOI's is because I have a best friend (a guy) that sends out so many "IOI's." I " " it because to him, they arent IOI's, it is just his personality. So when he does thing like touch my leg, says "you're too cute/funny" and other stuff like that, I know they aren't IOI's but for most people they are.

Just take a look at the situation, if you feel a good vibe from her, then generally speaking anything that you think is an IOI, probably is.

The reason why I say reward her with kino and not just attention is because women don't know if their subtle cues are being picked up. Kino is one of the most blatant (just subconscious) cues you can give her. If she can't tell that you are picking up on her IOI's and repond positively to them, she will think that you dont like her. It doesnt have to be a bear hug. That is why you start small and escalate once more comfort is built.

Great post B!

I love the idea of rewarding iois with kino.

CK

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success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.

Amen


Then compliance Test it with Kino or w/e , which acts as a reward if the IOI was correctly assumed.

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Note to self: Reffering to Chief by something other than his name has the knock on effect of strolling into the chat room and being asked; 'Crumpetberry are you a single hippie looking for a man'

One thing 8bit and I learnt, was that the knack of having the wing close by, counting IoI's on his fingers, you laugh, all the time, the female is saying "what's he counting", and you just ignore it, or say "never mind", or, if your obbsesed over the damned IOIs, pull her closer, and whisper it. and, you know the rest, I'm sure.

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Like leaves to the ground, my words are falling down. (because your scrolling up the page damn it!)

Kino to me is any form of touching, it being a bear hug or a simple touch on the arm. I tend to be careful about kino because of my height and how some girls are not comfortable with it at first, plus I been known to run into things that are shorter than me. And it has led to me being cussed at, slap, being punch, getting cops/security on me, guys that don't know the girl wanting to defend her. So ya I learned to be careful. Tho lately with more and more taller guys around things have gotten better.

I agree completely. Which is why I look for a bunch of IOI's and the vibe before I even think the girl is interested in me. I use to make the mistake of thinking every single IOI was the girl showing interest. But I learned the hard way on that one.
Very true. A you have to look at the overall picture and not just the details of it. As the details are only part of the "story", the picture tells the "story".
I have rewarded girls by giving them a compliment, asking them personal questions, to doing things for them, besides kino. As for me kino is not always the best option. Tho it should be noted, my style runs on the direct side, and its pretty obvious when I am interested in the girl or not. I agree that it can be difficult for a girl to tell if a guy is interested or not, but at the same time it is not easy to tell if the girl is interest. As you mention above with your male friend, he is a touchy type person and there are girls that are like him that are very flirty by nature. I would also go further to say girls in general are touchy, and that alone makes it difficult to tell if the girl is interested. Which is why I look at the over all picture of things.