| It was my second day of class at my university. I had already talked to some people, nothing special. I decided to take a seat near a tree and begin reading a book. I sat down on the shade and I let myself fall immerse into countless captivating lines and soon enough, I found myself not thinking about anything, the only thing I was focused on was that which my eyes were looking at: The Book. It's a rare feeling. A feeling in which everything around you looks beautiful. Everything around you seems to have more meaning than the usual. All of the sudden you can notice all the little details in a woman's laugh, in her smile, in her walk. It is indeed a rare feeling and I don't know how other way I can put it. Anyway, I sat down there for a good 45 minutes and I seemed to have achieved a piece of mind, a genuine smile and a positive - although seemingly neutral - energy. Something amazing happened at that moment. I stood up and I looked around and I saw what I hadn't seen had I not been in the state I was. I saw a bunch of beautiful women sitting alone. They were all approachable. And I knew it. I knew it. I sensed it. But I tell you this - and I can put my word on it - had I not been in that state, I would've thought they were not approachable.
I headed toward a petite red-headed wearing sunglasses, sitting on a bench just looking around. Empty your head.. I didn't think. I didn't think about what I would say or how she would react. I knew from the moment that I walked that I wasn't going to "attract" or set "comfort", but rather I was going there to share a moment with another human being. I was going there to sit a doing simple thing in an extraordinary way. There lies the success of everything: Doing simple things in an extraordinary way. I was going to identify with a stranger. And I knew that in order to identify with someone I need not the words, but the focus on offering what she wanted. I've been sharing this secret with a few people, but it wasn't until that day that I felt the power of it - the secret is this: You can get enough of what you want if you only helped others get what they want. And often what they want is the real you. If they don't want the real you, they want something that isn't you. Run away.
Daniel: Hey, do you mind if... I sit here with you?
Petite Cutie: Sure
Daniel: Yeah. After all, it's much better to waste time with someone than wasting time alone!
Petite Cutie: [giggles]
Daniel: Notice I said "wasting" time. Alright?
Petite Cutie: [giggles] I know. My break is too long. Are you on break too?
Daniel: Yes, I am.
Petite Cutie: How much time you got?
Daniel: You and I got about 30 more minutes for conversation.
Petite Cutie: You and I? You like to assume, don't you?
Daniel: What would life be if we didn't assume?
Petite Cutie: You sound like a geek.
Daniel: I'm the sexiest geek you'll run into.
Petite Cutie: [Loud Laugh] (Her laugh is cute)
Daniel: C'mon. Let's walk around.
It takes more than smooth talk to be able to identify with someone. Remember that when we identify with someone we can say a great deal without saying very much. But if you don't identify, you can say all you want and still part away like strangers. How many times did you "game" someone and soon enough you weren't able to reach that person. You want to know how to tell if you're good identifying with people? Look at your relationships with the people you live with. Not your closest friends, it's obvious that you identify with them, that's why you're friends. But look at the people you live with. Have you ever wondered how many families live together their entire lives but they don't know each other at all? You want to know how you ARE identified with someone? I can tell you how. Sit next to someone in silence, and check if the situation is awkward. If it's not awkward, then you're identified with that person. Notice how when you sit next to your best friend, you can be in total silence and not feel awkward.
You may ask, how do I identify with someone?. I'm a believer that if you want to identify with others, you must get them to open themselves up to you. And in order to do that, you must first open up to THEM. And I tell you there are many ways to open up to people. And in my experience, the most powerful of them is the tool of humor and laughter. Being able to smile a little at yourself and getting others to do the same is the most powerful way to get them to identify with you. Setting that SPAM is a crucial expect, the rest is being real. Don't be a I-can-do-it-all-ass when you talk to a woman, be simply real. Some of the guys that I've seen to be most successful in Night Clubs have a great sense of humor about themselves and getting the girls to laugh at themselves. For example: Calling her a dork, or a little sister and so on. Once the SPAM is set, it is easy to escalate sexually. I mean, easy.
When you're talking with women. Don't be a smart ass, be down to to earth. Don't be an I-can-do-it-all, be real. Don't give her a lecture on self-development because that's just knowledge. Wisdom is doing it. For instance, you know that laughter is good for the soul. Therefore make her laugh. But you also know that there is a difference between sense of humor and a dancing monkey. Knowledge is knowing, wisdom is applying (Thank You Bruce Lee) Are you ready to be wise?
A Final Note
You can meet women in every corner of the planet. But in order to do that, you must do simple things in extraordinary ways. Don't practice just pick up. Practice everything. Relax and achieve a peace of mind. Don't focus on getting what you want out of them, but rather what could you give to them. They are out there. They are in parks, coffee shops, in a bookstore, in school, at work. Everywhere. It doesn't take a big man to get a woman, it takes a real man. To become real, you must be real with yourself. You must learn to recognize yourself. Watch your thoughts, watch your emotions, watch your body movement. Become aware of all of them and once you know them. accept that they are yours. And if you don't want to accept them, then change them. And once you change them, accept them.
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CHAT
