This is the third time that this has happened to me in the last year or so, so I thought I would make a post about it.

Some time back I messaged a girl on POF (I don't normally open conversations on POF unless women check me out first...but this one I didn't want to pass up on) and she responded because she liked how I opened the conversation. In her third or fourth message she told me that I seemed really nice, she enjoyed talking to me but I wasn't her type. Cool...rolled with it and didn't talk to her again.

Last night I hung out at a sports bar with a group of my friends and I see this girl who was looking really good...she keeps glancing in the direction of our table, so I walk over to her and started chatting with her for a few minutes and when I felt like I got her hooked I went back over to where my friends were. So while the game was being played, my friends and I were having a good time and that girl kept turning around every time our team scored and give a smile. I went back over to her and invited her and her friends to come over to where me and my friends were. We flirted and then I realized that this is the girl from POF (which I didn't bring up). The whole "not her type" thing kept playing in my head, so this motivated me even more.

Game ended and it's still early here on the west coast and my buddy, RJ, invites all of the girls back to his place to play pool and it took a little convincing but they followed us to his place. We played teams and I paired up with Candy (her real name...not her stripper name), the girl I was interested in. I hate to say this, but I started by high fiving her when she made a shot, which turned into nudges when she missed shots and hugs when she barely missed a shot. I took advantage of it being a warm night and pulled her out onto the balcony where we small talked and then kissed.

Their driver wanted to leave, but Candy and the other girl still wanted to hang out...so we told them that we would get them an Uber ride home. I had no idea that RJ was actually getting somewhere with the other girl and he pulls her back into his bedroom. After we figured out that they weren't going to be coming out, Candy invited me back to her house to "hang out".

So this may seem like a field report but it really isn't. It just shows that no matter what, you have a better chance with women if you get out there and actually talk to them in person. The same girl that rejected me online was turned on by me in real life. Get out there.

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True, which is why I advocate guys getting these girls out as soon as you reasonably can. Online, you can't really showcase your humor and your personality. It is left in the hands of your profile and your pictures. Things that cannot mimic the real you. I am glad you posted though, just reinforces my theory that whenever these girls give you that "not my type" "i only fuck black guys" just remain persistent and keep on with your game! You never know.



Nice shit man.

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I love this. Just goes to show how things aren't always what they appear to be.

Great post.

Apparently I am the 'Tinder guy' around here and this is a great lesson to be learned. But personally, I use all channels to my advantage to diversify. I find a lot of people tend to stick to one or the other and are a little bit closed minded.

Day, night, online, couch surfing - they all generate girls to meet

Online is great in the sense that it filters all the single girls that are looking to meet in one channel for you to sort through. It's like being on a planet where there is only single people.

But there is nothing more primal than being in her face and projecting eliciting sexual tension and turning her on with your vibe. This is way more powerful than the best quality picture of you saving a kitten from a burning house.

Most importantly...Did you tell her that she ditched you on POF after you banged her?

Something the opposite happened to me recently...I had this situation where I made out with a hot a girl in a club, she flaked. A month later I get matched with her on Tinder and she was keen. I told her that I made out with her and she remembered.

She then suddenly flaked.

I guess there was something in person that she was turned off by me (Maybe it was my Halloween costume)

I don't know why I told her that. Lesson learned.

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online is a wayyy different creature than real world, and the two reasons for that is the great abundance of readily available options for the women and they are free from social punishments.

but the real reason is the abundance

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Never worry bout what I do
I'd be coming home back to you
Every night, doin' you right

I told her last night. I didn't have the willpower to withhold that information anymore. She told me that she didn't remember that and asked if I was sure that I had the right girl. When I gave her some proof, she gave me a bullshit excuse about how she was going through some things at the time and she was about to give up on that site, so she just stopped talking to everyone.

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Lmao. Because that explains how she hooked up with you and you weren't her type.



I love girls man

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Most attractive women operate out of abundance IRL and online...so I don't agree with the assessment you have. Men and women tend to be much more pickier when it comes to choosing women online. I have passed up so many women online that I would talk to in a heartbeat if I met them in person.

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Great post

Since this section is about theory, Jack...I'd like to get your thoughts on this. Do you think that this was more a difference of real life and online, or a difference of direct and indirect? Thats how I kinda looked at it while reading. Online, was direct. Online, you took the direct approach and it didnt work out. In person, sounds like you took the more indirect route. You used social proof. You left on high notes. You were in a group dynamic. You used social touching. So as much as it sounds like online vs in person, sounds like maybe the overall approach, direct vs indirect played a part.

I think it could be a mixture of those things. I also think that the sheer number of guys that approach women online is ridiculous, so it's easier to become just a number and one attractive guy with great pictures can make women drop you. I also know my personality and humor when it comes to typing vs. talking is way different and it would take a lot to translate how I speak on a keyboard.

I do think she was originally trying to give me a chance online, but I wasn't doing it for her. Without being too arrogant, there aren't a lot of guys out there that can go toe to toe with me when it comes to having presence...I've put a lot of effort into developing that. That kind of stuff doesn't come across in pictures, so I demand more attention in person than I do online (theoretically).

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to me this makes no sense, for most men its probably the opposite. most guys out of frustration from not getting through with their norm might go for less.

if would talk to a girl outside, i'd chat her up online

_________________
If I was ya man, baby, you'd
Never worry bout what I do
I'd be coming home back to you
Every night, doin' you right

_________________
If I was ya man, baby, you'd
Never worry bout what I do
I'd be coming home back to you
Every night, doin' you right

You don't get what I'm saying. There are girls online that are attractive, but not attractive enough for me to put the time into them because I have a few girls that I'm already talking to that are hotter and there's just not enough time to dedicate to every attractive woman...so I go with the most attractive that I have available to me already. If I were to see that same girl out and about and I had the time to step up to them, I would definitely talk to them then.

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that definitely make sense.

and i commend you on your patience and for losing your cool. you took the time to not only repeat but also to break it down.7

and very fortunate for you cause usually online women value increase and men value decrease

_________________
If I was ya man, baby, you'd
Never worry bout what I do
I'd be coming home back to you
Every night, doin' you right