| So I was hanging in a bar with some friends last week or so and it suddenly struck me. I didn't know that many guys lacked the skill of conversation. Most of these guys were looking really good that any girl would fall for them, yet they tended to fail over and over as I was watching. Suddenly, some random guy with Bob-Marley hairstyle, long bagged shorts and glasses, skinny as a straw, lacking all the good looking features by all means approached our table and picked up two of the girls I'm sitting with. I did not retaliate, I did not speak, I knew what he was doing and I could have interfered and ruined it for him. Instead, I just watched him talk to them, emphasizing on every detail and routine he was running. Yes, it looked like he was a robot, but the way he seemed to calibrate his words and body language seemed to charm the girls. I saw myself in him, not look-wise, but personality wise, and I thought of sharing the things I made note of as I watched myself in that guy charming my two friends.
Here's some pointers I picked out that I found quite useful as many of you guys will surely benefit from. Note that I'm only talking about conversation skills.
1) Act it out: If you're describing something, act it out. It's the easiest way to allow listeners to live the story you're telling. Let's say you are talking about a bouncer who kicked you out of a club last week because you started stripping on a pole out of excitement. Act out how the bouncer looked (lift your chest, tighten your muscles) and then act how excited you were to do it by being excited about it when you speak. This will leave your listeners wanting to know more of your adventures, you have to try this out.
2) Transfer of energy: Many of the guys I've seen talking to girls are just dull and boring. I've seen many guys tell great stories without putting effort into it. They just blutter the words and think that these words will leave a magnificent effect after they leave. However, the moment they turn their backs is the moment the girl never remembers anything the guy said, not even his face. What I want to point out is that many guys don't put energy into their conversations. Try to fuel your stories with energy coming from your body. Be excited when you're talking about something awesome, and be sad when you are discussing something sad. You have to feel the words you're speaking; otherwise, your listeners will not feel them either.
3) Your body makes 90% of your words: I always used to speak too fast when I was young, not because I was shy, but because I thought I'd bore girls out when I'm speaking slowly. It has struck me around 2 years ago to know that speed in conversation is more than essential, it's a priority. Slowing down makes you more seductive, it transforms heat and sexuality. You'll find it weird to speak slowly at first, but once you get the hang of it, it's really simple and I promise you that you will notice a great deal of positive change, be it pickup or career.
4) Eye-Contact: I'm not going to stress on this because it should be pretty damn obvious by now. The more eye contact you make when you're speaking, the more dominant you are perceived to be. The less eye contact you make while others speak to you, the more dominant you'll look. However, this does not mean looking at somebody else when someone is talking to you, or ignoring him/her as this is called disrespect. Look them in the eye and cut eye contact each 5-6 seconds for just a millisecond. The reason behind this is because if someone is looking at you while you are speaking and both of you are making eye contact, it will look creepy and weird, only do this when you're about to go for the kiss.
5) Touch: We all know it. Escalate, escalate, escalate. Even on guys, no homo, just touch their shoulders or elbows slowly when you're emphasizing a point and see how it feels. You'll feel like you are above all men once you know how to touch. Be careful though, we don't want you escalating sexually on men, unless you are gay, then you're free to do it (I understand). I'm pointing this out because one of my friend touches a lot of guys when he talks to them and at one point one of the guys got interested in him and started following him around all night. So stay safe.
6) Smile: My last on the list. Open up with a smile. Not a big nike-commercial smile that would make it look like tonight is the happiest day of your life, because this will freak people out. Just imagine how creepy it would be if someone came up to you with an ear-to-ear smile and says Hi. You'd more likely drift away running than welcoming him. A gentle smile when you enter is essential. It reassures that you are a friendly person who is worth talking to. I see a lot of people holding grudges thinking they're the shit in bars, but all of them end up lonely, I used to be one of them at one point, but it all changed after a few alterations.
I hope these small tips helped, looking forward for feedback/questions.
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