Hey everybody,

After the 3rd 1st date this month that's resulted in a disappearance, I decided to bring something up that's needed to be said.

Whoever started that bs txt routine:

"A day or so after your first date, even if it goes really well, txt her,

YOU: 'Oh my God! It's gonna be so awesome! You won't believe it! We're gonna have such an amazing time! Where something cute and comfortable; Meet me at 6 at the coffee shop on main and 4th at 6'o clock. If I don't hear back from you by 3, I'll just take someone else. Just let me know!

Then she's supposed to be all like: "OMG, what is it?!"

And you say, "don't worry about it baby, just be there."

Bull

Fucking

Shit

I've tried this routine with girls about 50 times after 1st dates in the past twelve months. You know what it got me?

Silence. As in, never to be heard from again.

This warrants bringing up, because while 1 itis is bad too, the big deal over getting the second date shouldn't be a deal at all.

Do you agree?

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Http://Dating-Musings.com

Woah, that sort of texting is really manipulative. Girls can sense that sort of behavior and they hate that shit. Only the craziest girls with the worst dad issues is going to respond to that. After the first date just call her a few nights later, have a conversation, ask her out to dinner or something fun. Women have feelings too, y'know.

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The ultimate lesson of psychoanalysis is that human life is never "just life": we are possessed by the strange drive to enjoy life in excess, attached to a surplus which derails the ordinary run of things.
-Slavoj Zizek

Three strikes in a row and I dump a routine or technique that does not work for me. When I'm patient, 12 strikes in a row is the most that I do.

Jesus Fucking Horny Rodriguez! 50 times?

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

It comes across very weird and try hard.

I would say that the reason you don't get 2nd dates is because you fuck up the first one and it has nothing to do with your texts.
But yeah these texts are really bad.

too try hard.
text game bears no relevance to how the date went.

on the date --
did you escalate?

It depends...on you personality. Are the words and actions congruent to your personality.

Every guy has a different personality and different routines and material are either congruent or not congruent to that personality. When women get the 'vibe' of non-congruence=non-attractiveness, then no response.

You sound like a straight forward serious guy from your post. That routine is for someone wild and crazy.

In the community they don't discuss finding material congruent with your personality.
If you run routines that are congruent the second date should be no problem at all and the first dates should go alot better. And the pick up should be smoother.
You might benefit from the rountine's of Ratisse on T21C. May have similar style and better results.

Yeah, I sure did this time around, among others. What happened with this one has hit off a whole new direction that I might bring up in another post.

But back on this,

A while back, I explained trouble getting 2nd dates, or even write-backs when reaching out a day or two later with: "Hey, how's it going?" - or something similar.

The response from the community was almost a unanimous:

"You sounded boring. No guy shows he's second-date material by txting 'hey, how's it going,' - not exactly alpha or memorable. If you want her to be thinking of you enough to get another meet, you've gotta be memorable and animated in your txts; say something exciting and enthusiastic. 'Hey, how's it going' just shows you're another boring schlub just like all the rest of the guys'"

- and then I'm always referred to that same fucking txt routine as what I should be doing instead.

In this case; the girl was actually pretty cool; we smoked a hookah and had a couple drinks on a couch in a lounge. I was playing with her hand after some bullshit excuse/routine. An hour or so in I asked her if she'd ever kissed a guy on a first date...forgot what her answer was, but leaned in and kissed her anyway. She jokingly called me out on having "liquid courage". I drove her home, good end to the night; kissed her again.

She txts me at 9 the next night that she was in my part of town and was thinking about going out for ice cream; asked me if I cared to join.

Okay, both of the nearby ice cream places were closed; she suggested we meet at this grocery store when I asked if she just wanted to pick some up and eat it over a movie or something. So I met her in the ice cream aisle (lol); we had the same favorite flavor. As we were headed to the checkout, she commented that I "pulled out all the stops last night."

We go to my place; watch some stand up comedy stuff on YouTube on my tv. The tv's funny, I'm funny; She's laughing her ass off. We kiss a lot, but she was resistant to a little more physical escalation. A little while later the night's just run its course and I drive her home.

Just prior to the Memorial Day holiday, she replies quickly and with few words that her phone had been dead and she has plans later in the week, but we could hang out after the holiday. No word for the 5 days or so; I had given her her space and didn't txt, - non-needy, non-clingy

Finally Tuesday rolls around and I txt her that's she's gotten quiet and I was wondering if she still wanted to hang out. She txts back:

"I feel like such an asshole for not writing back. I just didn't feel t and didn't want to put you in the friend zone."

That was it.

One-itis, bad, sure. But this girl had been so candid and straight up about like everything; just like me. I thought there could've been some kind of connection.

The next topic I want to write is kind of an off-shoot from this and probably needs its own thread rather than full discussion here, but I've noticed that girls I meet just prior to a holiday weekend or "trip with the girls"; don't plan on hearing back from her again.

So what the fuck happened here? I'd like to think my game was solid.

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Http://Dating-Musings.com