| have been studying peoples reactions to bullying and i have made a way of showing you what kind of emotions and reactions you can use (in theory, some seen and alot tested)
MY MOTTO: theres no need to tell the teacher when you can deal with it yourself.
although i dont like many of the things on anti bullying sites i will say now that telling a family memmber about it just to realease some stress is good and can get you through tomorrow, also if you have close friends they will try and protect you (basic stuff there trying to prove there protecter of man) but this will make you look bad because you cant defend yourself but will make you look like your social value is good if they help you.
in some very small exceptions people have no option but to tell people about it and get it stopped but seriosly ask yourself is it that bad? can i stop it without doing so?
LAUGHTER IS THE KEY
making other people in your class laugh at him (make sure its not at you) brings down his social value below all of theres for a short period of time leaving him feeling vulnrable/the louder you say something the more people will hear and the higher sucess chance for laughter/sometimes its not as funny if the teacher does not hear/get sent out its not the end of the world just dont go too far and try not to get into trouble/ keep riding that certain teachers boundarys, thats what the bully tries to do. (people are always laughing at someone theres nothing funny that doesent end up the root of the funnyness on a person / animal although you can make them laugh at you without bringing you social value down in some very small cases)
HAMMER TIME
imagine you both have hammers,
you can keep swinging and missing but he will be more wary of you, missing is when he thinks of a good comeback/
be aware you both have stamina and if you keep hitting him with that hammer he will stay and the floor and not get back up/
the most crucial moment is when your swinging that hammer wondering it it will land if it doesent swing it again fast before he gets the chance/
if you realize what his insicuritys are you can use them to your advantage to do a more powerfull blow/
if you come out with a bad comeback or just let him keep at you your essentially dropping that hammer or letting him knock it out of your hand/
(i used these all in metaphores to make you think about them more and feel like youve earned them, so use them. also its a good mentaphore)
REACTIONS
ok reactions are very hard for some people and simple at the same time in my oppinion, sometimes its hard to get it right because you have wired other ones into your system of defence, so try using one of them with your other ones and keep adding in some and eventualy your brain will re adjust because these reactions work better.(a offence with no defence will get you nowhere learn to defend yourself first before you use verbal attacks on his insicuritys)
first of all this guy has just verbally attacked you , this is not a joke do not laugh UNLESS your laughing at him then you should go onto make a comment about him in some way and also make it obvios your laughing at him, sarcastic laughs will not work because they make him laugh at you most of the time.
eg. in this instance i take what the bully says flips it round as it is probly a insicurity if hes attacking it / if hes hair is really, really neat he probly spends ages on it (is it really strait? straitners?) also i have no friends with me so i say it loud enough for his peer group to hear.
bully: hey whats up with your hair today *laugh*
person 1: yeah i used some gel on it, i see youve been straitning yours again and howecome you havent had it cut yet?
this gives the bully 2 things to deal with so he has to think 2x as fast (ever watched scrubs if you want to become immortal at comebacks try and think of ones to dr cox.) and also bullies arnet often thrown good comebacks . most people just put up with it.
but this bully could reply
bullys friend: what are you on about his hair looks fine
person 1: yeah i know, he straitens it.
if your feeling daring to shut up the rest of the group if not walk away otherwise if he comes out with other stuff keep getting comebacks for it.
person 1: why do you straiten yours aswell?
bullys friend: no, yours looks like a rats nest
person 1: *carrys on defending himself*
if your lucky he would just stop at no and the teacher would tell you to be quiet or somthing leaving it there where you have managed to do three blows 2 to the leader of the group and one to his friend stopping his friend from wanting to get the leader to get back at you and the leader doesent want to.
even if you are in a conversation with a bullyand hes swinging insults at you and you dodge all of them not managing to to swing some at him he will eventually run out of stamina realizing theres no point, this is what many people seem to do.
i think the other way is much faster and effective and is much more risky as i have tried it myself so be prepared.
if the bully resorts to violence and swings at you, you will have to fight or just get him into trouble by bieng near a teacher when he does also come up with a story to deploy quickly to other people something along the lines of him losing his temper, the great thing about classes is you can do it as much as you can and there is alot less chance he will turn violent because of the consiquences and all the witnesses to him starting it and losing his temper.
last of all your hair shouldent be able to be insulted make sure you have a good style and whatever / improve your inner game / wear good clothes.
if you over try on your hair youve gotta do it so you get compliments from girls etc. this gives good refrences especially if they have high value. you straiten your hair, wash it throughly but you just look like some guy off the beatles wont win you any favours, look at modern hairstyles and fashion.
bully: ha ha you straiten your hair
person 1: yeah (girl) says it looks good, i see youve gone with the messy look today.
DONTS
dont laugh at yourself
dont ever look angry
dont fight over nothing
dont use small violence it can build up this one ive proved many times
dont get into trouble too much this will lower your social value
do not threaten him it wont get you anywhere unless you prove yourself unpredictable and beforehand make insane bets you carryout or somthing. i dare you to smack him on the head. etc this will cause more problems than it solves in my oppinion. also it shows you lose your temper.
DO's
use as much diffrent stuff at the same time to make him think (if hes thinking for more than 2 seconds say: your a bit slow arnet you?)
make a nickname for him one that difines him and everyone will be reminded of when they see him, if he looks like a gorrilla call him a gorrilla(one boy in my year has to put up with gorrilla noises as he enters any room. the more people who hear this nickname and realate him to it will most probly laugh at the obvios relation they dident see.
look at what body launguadge you need for pickup on other parts of this forum and always speak from your chest and not your throat or your nose as at one time i was doing
SOME REACTIONS ive seen
my earlier exsample:hair reaction: your face should be normal and relaxed he throws the blow about your hair you should stay relaxed and you should laugh shortly showing him negative body launguadge and shoot the blow at him
dangerous reaction/IS HE VIOLENT?(want to see if he will fight you?):
he shoots a blow at you, you look into hes eyes walk into his personal space staying with a serious slightly angry discusted face relaxed pull your arms slightly back with your hands in loose fists and diliver some sort of blow to his insicurity if he backs away so he has hes personal space back then he is afraid of you, if he laughs and backs away then hes trying to bully you without using violence so he would only fight if you punched him first
same if he bumps your chest and moves away laughing but he is more inclined to fight
and if he bumps your chest and refuses to break eye contact first you may have a problem.
watch out though these are not completly accurate as some people can be unpredictable
I have just shared with you some stuff ive came across i will probly be adding to this over the next couple of days as this all came out my head and i dident prepare it properly.(i will defiently be adding do's and dont's and reactions ive seen but for now im tierd)
i hope this helped, please pm me or post here with any concerns, questions or anyting else (it is a possiblity that i have made a mistake and in a few of my experiances inturpreted them wrong)
p.s. who thinks there should be a highschool section in this forum?
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