Hi, all
I've been away from sarging for about 6 years due to a relationship and since being single a year I've been having great success with online dating, but I'm totally out of practise with real-world sarging. Which is a shame because I've just done a Pilates class at my gym and the tutor is seriously hot. Here's the story so far...

Went to first class last week, partly for the pilates, partly for the girls that might be in the class with me. During the class the tutor (who I've never met before) kept asking me if I'd done yoga before because I could do all the moves pretty easily, then after class I was the last there (amazing how that happens) so started chatting to her. I had a few genuine questions about pilates and she was in no hurry to leave and got on the floor to show me a couple of extra moves. I forced myself to watch. After about 10 minutes we walk out together and she asks me my name and tells me hers, then says if I come again... To which I said I'll be coming next week. Oh ok, well I'll see you then.

As we're walking out together I have a quick joke with one of the gym instructors I know while pilates girl is watching, then we all say our goodbyes and that was the end of that.

Next day I'm checking my fitness website via facebook and I notice her photo as someone I may know as she's a friend of a friend apparently. She's probably always been there but I've just ignored it as the truth is more like she's a vague fitness contact of one of my vague fitness contacts. However, given the opportunity to stalk- I mean to investigate, I have a quick look at her profile. No evidence of a boyfriend or much of a life outside of work. I send a friend request, which she accepts that day, along with a few others so nothing too exciting there, but at least she accepted.

So, we share common interests (fitness stuff) and I'm hoping/assuming she likes athletic looking guys, I'm in my 30's and I think she's about 6 years younger, and I'll see her next wednesday in the pilates class.

But what's my next move?

She complimented my pilates, stayed behind and chatted, asked me my name and added me on facebook, which might seem good but it all could just be good business in her mind. Plus I get the impression she's very (overly) trusting and naive and just generally nice. Normally I'd just be not too subtle and if it fails who cares, but as I'm in the fitness industry here everyone knows me, and her, so I'm reluctant to just go for it and to hell with the consequences because the gossip will doubtless spread around every gym in the city. Anyone in fitness will tell you how gossipy it is. You might be thinking, rightly, who cares what anyone thinks, but the truth is in this instance I do. Not sure why, but I do.

I'd appreciate genuine suggestions from you guys about how to best transition to flirting/banter instead of just tutor/client talk, but preferably someone who's actually successfully done the same, rather than just read about it.

Thanks in advance.

First off, sending a facebook request is a big chode move. Asking a girl out is only a step by step process if you're a pussy. If you want to ask the girl out, and you don't have her number, you simply don't have permission, especially if it is a hired gun. Congratulations! You just put yourself in the chode zone. You easily could've just chatted her up outside the class and brought the conversation to out-of-gym activities, or invited her to grab food somewhere on the way home.

You're creeping. Going out of your way for the purpose of women is desperate. Desperation is creepy.

Also, your actions lack direction and purpose. Why did you request her on facebook? So you can ultimately get a date? Okay, then don't be a creep about it and just lurk on her page like every other man, send her a message saying you were interested in seeing her sometime and didn't know how to go about it due to possible professional barriers. When your insecurities are obvious, or showing in anyway, it takes a real man to admit them. You only bitch out by bitching out. Make sure to be specific in your message as to what you'd like to do and when. "I'd like to get to know you outside of the gym, so if you're interested we can meet up somewhere for dinner after next class." Anything less is just asking permission to ask a girl out, which you arguably don't even need.



She's not as naive as she is interested, or she's playing naive and she already knows what's up. Either way you're caught. You might as well go for it.

_________________
Attraction is a choice.
ITS YOUR CHOICE!
Spread Love
-Ders


www.facebook.com/spreadloveders

First off, thanks for a reply!

Ok, obviously I didn't make it clear. The facebook add was because she is in fitness and a good contact for my website. Now all her "friends" see when she likes my site and new articles. That wasn't going out of my way and it was nothing to do with trying to get a date.

Also, maybe you're in the US, but I'm in the UK and leaving a gym in the middle of nowhere to get a meal at 9pm is a big move and either involves fast food shit or a proper restaurant. Only suggestion might be a drink (it's the UK after all) but I don't drink and I doubt she does either. Looking at her she probably doesn't even eat.

Anyway, update: she messaged me when she noticed my fitness site to say, among other things, I should have told her I was in the industry. I just said why? do i get special SPAM? She replied with lol no, i just get nervous.

Anyway, since then I've been distracted by messages from online dating, which is a steady and constant stream of first date lays and fb's, and have a date set for the weekend with a new girl which from experience I'd say has a 90% likelihood of an f-close, so I'm certainly not desperate. And I'm not that interested in pilates girl anyway. This is more of a gaming a hired gun project.

Next class is tomorrow. I'll be sure to chat before and after class with her and any IOIs from her and I'll go for a meet up.

Again thanks for the reply. It is appreciated.

PS I like the line "interested in seeing her sometime and didn't know how to go about it due to possible professional barriers." Well phrased.