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PostPosted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 7:50 pm 
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Met a girl a couple months back, she was dating someone but it wasn't serious. #-closed and kiss-closed but later was blindsided with the LJBF move and stepped right into it, AFC. She is still seeing the same guy but calls me every week to say 'Hi'. I know she LJBF me so she wouldn't feel guilty about seeing/calling me but if her current guy made her happy why keep calling me? I admit to having had one-itis over this one but am getting over it. I know she will call again and I really want to full close her. Suggestions on how to play this?

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 29, 2006 12:45 am 
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maybe meet up with her with another girl and some friends to see what's up?

pros?


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 29, 2006 2:31 am 
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Hi Raleigh,

I would definitely keep in touch with her, but the most important thing is to rid yourself of one-itis. One-itis leads to the darkside, Luke. And use jealousy. See other girls and let her know about it.

And make sure you don't become her therapist or the guy she comes to to complain about her boyfriend.


Respectfully,

M


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 29, 2006 11:29 pm 
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Thanks M. Dark side is right...dealing with the one-itis, but it's hard. Wish I had better game, or any kind of game when I met her. Can some one point me to the 1 step forward 2 steps back routine?

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 5:36 am 
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Raleigh,

There are several things you can do in this situation, I've come across this about 4 different times and done 3 different things, all yeilding a full close. This is all dependent on what type of female you are dealing with also...

1) When she calls again, don't pickup and call back a 2-3 days later. If she doesn't pickup, don't leave a message. If she does, act distant/busy and tell her your just "returning her call". (Subliminal vocabulary rewording can rewire what a girl thinks of the relationship, if you tell her your calling to "see whats up" she will scoff you off seeing that she has the power, but simple reversals of power can be done by such phrases as "returning the call" or "getting back to you".) During the call, rush off the phone but try to arange a lunch or easy non-intrusive date for a few days later, end the conversation with telling her that you will call her that day and never do. If she does call you, you can opt for 2 things: "you forgot and your out somewhere" or "you meant to call her but something important came up". Both of which are very sutble signs of negging her. The second time I did this I dicked the chick twice in a row, the next meeting she had fortunately broken up with her boyfriend and was no problem to close. However, you are going to have to make up for this in a way that doesn't apear AFCish. Calmly tell her you'll make it up to her and arange something else and follow through. When the actual date occurs take some advice from the "cocky funny" style and adapt it to your personality without offending her or trying to hard. (The actual date when you showup should be something more intrusive than lunch, maybe a night of dancing/drinking/open space with stars for conversation/ something of the sort). Keeping up this attitude will make her feel as if you are no longer interested, if you feel fit throw in some lies about sex/love life that are dramatic enough to keep her attention. People want what they can't have so if this is executed properly and you apear unreachable by her she will try harder to regain your attention.

2) If she's got a friend worth taking a go at, try picking up the friend if you haven't met her before (really know her) so you have a clean slate. This can lead to either you sleeping with a friend which is good even if you don't get her, or she will see that you are once again no longer available and may try to regain your attention in a non-friends manner. And if you fail at both, oh well, you weren't getting her until now anyway so no loss there.

3) This only works on some girls, this is an actual story from about 2 months ago. I had known this girl since highschool when we both graduated in 04' we parted and didn't see each other for 2 years. When she came back to my town I saw her at the community college and talked to her breifly. Over time the friends barrier was back where it was in highschool and I was stuck. I put her on the back burner and continued to see her occasionally, not caring about her the whole time. When I saw an oppurtunity (i had heard that she was mad at her boyfriend at class one day) so I informed her (not invited) that I was going to Club Abyss that night with a few of my friends (no-one was really going) and that she could join if she wanted to get her mind off of things for a while. She agreed, later that night I called her and said no-one wanted to go anymore because they had work or somebullshit. Long story short...We go to the club, just her and I. We dance casually for a short while and begin to get a little sweaty so I tell her that I need to go to the bathroom and I'll be right back (telling her to stay here), I go strait to the bar, grab and drink and go look for other girls. The whole time however, I keep an idea on her location without her seeing me see her. After a short while (long enough to make her feel alone in a big club but not enough to piss her off, keep in mind shes not going to run away and find some other man because she still has a boyfriend and only wants comfort at this moment in time, your return arrival will bring such a feeling) I return with a water bottle for her which and I open one for me and spash cold water on my face and a little bit on her. Not explaining why I took so long, only saying "don't worry im back" with a cocky smile. The cold sensation of water on the already hot body messes with the hormones in anyones body. We resume dancing with good eye contact (only if she recipricates), I then began to sync up our physical motions even past the dancing, first our hands interlocking up in the air, then hands on the thighs over her hands, then head/neck positioning and breathing when the beat of techno had slowed down. Within minutes she onto me so tight I couldn't have pried her off if I tried. Suddenly, that gay fucking song "is ya man on the floor, if he ain't let me know" by chris brown came on and I felt the energy between us and barely had to move my mouth to kiss her. 30 minutes later we were in the car driving home, finishing the bottle we started drinkning on the drive there. You can guess where we were going.

--Keep in mind all of this is very dependent on her, read over this and adapt it to your own situation, no girl is the exact same as another, no pickup situation is the same, so use what you can brotha. Good luck.

-----Methuselah


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 6:13 pm 
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Thank you Methuselah, very good info. I will definitely fine tune this for this particular target but the info is very helpful. I'm quickly learning that I am too much of a nice guy...AFC.

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"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 9:20 pm 
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No problem, let me know how it goes


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 9:35 pm 
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Frustrated by allowing myself to be compartamentalized by the LJBF line, I decide to take back control. Some advice from Monkey on another post suggested using a direct approach that just rung true for me. I called the target and laid it out, saying I was wrong and that she wasn't THE ONE, that I didn't know her and thus I couldn't be as crazy about her as I thought. I also qualified this as a New Year resolution...to right a wrong so I could start the New Year with a clean conscience. Then ended the conversation with a Happy New Year wish and hung up...no false emotion, pleading, or extraneous statements just direct and almost business like. She called the next day but I didn't return her call. She called again and left a message asking me to call her back but I didn't return her call. She called the next morning and again asked me to call her...I didn't. The next morning, day 2 from the original call, I called and got her voicemail, I didn't leave a message. I called later that evening got her voicemail decided to leave a brief matter of fact "hey returning your call" message. Last night she dropped by my place unexpectedly and gave very clear IOI and lots of kino. I kept it cool, c&f with some negging. I feel like I've got control back...now she will have to earn my attention.

Thanks to Monkey and Methuselah for your advice.

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"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 11:51 pm 
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you da man, good job and enjoy


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