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 Post subject: Need advice
PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 6:54 pm 
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A new girl I've just met at work has just given me the biggest bitch shield so far to date.

bitch: Hi [my name] how are you?
me: (quiet, looked puzzled)
bitch: I bet you're wondering how I know your name, that's fucked you up hasn't it?
me: Nothing
bitch: Smile, it isn't that bad, you look as if the world is gonna fall in.
My mate: Oh he's very quiet. (He's a tosser, but he wasn't doing it out of spite, I think he thought he was trying to help)
bitch: Really, oh well, we'll talk to him, we don't mind.
otherbitch: Yeah, we'll get you to talk.
bitch: So, why are you not talking to us, have you got a girlfriend?
me: Yeah many... (then I walk off)
bitch:good answer

Basically, these two caught me totally off guard. It ain't no shit test. I know she did that for an ego boost. She certainly doesn't like me.

But the point is, what should I do? If I demonstrate lower value, these two are gonna be on me for cheap digs, and work is going to be painful. Have I fucked up already?

I need to neg her to break her bitch shield right?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 7:40 pm 
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Nothing in your post implies that she was being a bitch at all. I don't know why you think that. Perhaps you can give us some more information to work with?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 7:55 pm 
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>Nothing in your post implies that she was being a bitch at all.

Perhaps the tone of the conversation doesn't come across so well when you're relaying it back on a forum.

But rest assured, she was definitely not into me (that was no shit test).

[background]
I'm shy, and I don't come across as being confident.

If I'm being candid, she is one of those mouthy girls you meet on a night out and think, what a bitch? I think she sees me as a target, someone she can make fun off while with her mate.

The point is, that was my first encounter with her. So if I play it cool, and answer her later *bitch tests* with witty, I'm not bothered responses, I can get "her to fuck the hell off".

I'm planning material as we speak... Freeze out as well.

What does everyone else think?

[edit] If she's negging me to work me up, she's doing a fuckin' good job.[/edit]


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 12:30 am 
tweeby, you're not getting the point. At this moment, your mindset is completely fucked up.

She DID NOT give you a bitch shield. Hell man, she fucking OPENED you. So what if her tone was condescending. She OPENED you. You could have turned that condescending tone around. The fact that you are quiet and have no confidence is the REAL problem here. THAT'S what you need to work on. You can actually make progress with this girl, even now. But you CAN'T treat her the way you are talking about.

You need to build the vibe with her. Sure, neg her, but be careful with that, because you're confidence needs to be up to a decent level to effectively pull the negs off with this girl. Implant this thought in your mind . . . SHE LIKES YOU. Go from there.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 1:49 am 
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SHE LIKES YOU.

However, she can't let on to anybody about it until you build enough social value that she is proud to have your attention. That being said, you need to give OTHER PEOPLE more attention when she is around, and if you are being funny, she will want to participate. For example, if she and her friend walk up, and she addresses you, give a quick reply to her, then fire an open ended question or a joke (not at anybody's expense) to her friend. Keep her friend talking and laughing. Don't forget to explicitly include any of your friends who happen to be around, more than you include your problem girl (target).

good luck =)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 9:10 pm 
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>SHE LIKES YOU

This is fuckin surprising. Seriously. I was so sure this girl was using me as her ego boost. I'll trust your opinion, seeing as my opinions in the past have been so wrong. Anyway, that is beside the point.

I don't like this girl at all. She is not my target. Now her friend I don't mind, but it's not like I'm stressing about her. Also, remember this is a work situation!

Anyway, the main purpose of this post is that I want to demonstrate higher social value. They are going to *bitch test* me. I don't want to come away feeling like they got the better hand.

I want them to know I'm not this shy, sensitive person. I hate that person.

>The fact that you are quiet and have no confidence is the REAL problem here.

True, I need to work on my inner game.

>Sure, neg her, but be careful with that, because you're confidence needs to be up to a decent level to effectively pull the negs off with this girl.

This is the problem. She is definitely cock-funny. She could possibly out wit a confident AMOG. How do I play this?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 9:51 pm 
Quote:
>SHE LIKES YOU

This is fuckin surprising. Seriously. I was so sure this girl was using me as her ego boost. I'll trust your opinion, seeing as my opinions in the past have been so wrong. Anyway, that is beside the point.

I don't like this girl at all. She is not my target. Now her friend I don't mind, but it's not like I'm stressing about her. Also, remember this is a work situation!
Actually, to me anyway, it does sound like you are stressing about her. And, I'm wondering why.
Quote:
Anyway, the main purpose of this post is that I want to demonstrate higher social value. They are going to *bitch test* me. I don't want to come away feeling like they got the better hand.
Build your confidence, and keep your mind alert. Be on your toes. Don't let them affect your emotions. Shut them down if you have to.
Quote:
I want them to know I'm not this shy, sensitive person. I hate that person.

>The fact that you are quiet and have no confidence is the REAL problem here.

True, I need to work on my inner game.
Ok, you realize this, so start working on it. You have to believe in yourself. It's not gonna happen overnight either. There are no quick fixes to inner game.
Quote:
>Sure, neg her, but be careful with that, because you're confidence needs to be up to a decent level to effectively pull the negs off with this girl.

This is the problem. She is definitely cock-funny. She could possibly out wit a confident AMOG. How do I play this?
OOOOOOOO, I'd love to take that challenge on . . . 8)

Have you thought about telling her what you think about her? That is, that you DON'T?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 10:06 pm 
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>Actually, to me anyway, it does sound like you are stressing about her.
Her, the person, I couldn't give two fucks about. She is at best a HB 5.5. The problem is her abrasive confidence which is making me feel inadequate. It reminds me of a throw-back from my childhood. I was prolifically bullied.


>Build your confidence, and keep your mind alert. Be on your toes. Don't let them affect your emotions. Shut them down if you have to.

Ok, so I guess I have to answer their questions as if they were shit tests.

That's all I wanted to know.

I'm worried about negging in case she turns it back on me. I haven't had enough practice to think on the spot. Plus, some girls are good at spotting a fake... But I need to break the bitch shield.

The other option is, I could cold read her. Mouthy, girls tend to be insecure in themselves. Is it worth saying something like:-

"Gee, is your friend always so abrasive. You know loud and mouthy people tend to be like that because they have had difficult childhoods. But don't feel so bad...I think it is endearing." *Smiles*

One more question. Who do I direct my answer to. The bitch or her friend? I know they'll come down together. She'll use her friend as back-up, someone to laugh with her when she negs me?

Thanks for all the help btw.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 10:22 pm 
Quote:
>Build your confidence, and keep your mind alert. Be on your toes. Don't let them affect your emotions. Shut them down if you have to.

Ok, so I guess I have to answer their questions as if they were shit tests.

That's all I wanted to know.

One more question. Who do I direct my answer to. The bitch or her friend? I know they'll come down together. She'll use her friend as back-up, someone to laugh with her when she negs me?

Thanks for all the help btw.
Hmmm, I made a mistake with my previous post. I realize it sounds like I'm saying to shut your emotions down. What I actually meant was to shut the girls down if you have to. Ok, anyway . . .

Well, normally you would ignore the target more and give more attention to the obstacle . . . so you figure out who it is you're really wanting to game. Of course, if you're shooting down a bitch shield, you'll probably want to look right into her eyes to show you're not intimidated by her, because you shouldn't be.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 10:27 pm 
"Gee, is your friend always so abrasive. You know loud and mouthy people tend to be like that because they have had difficult childhoods. But don't feel so bad...I think it is endearing." *Smiles*

That would work.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 2:46 pm 
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>Well, normally you would ignore the target more and give more attention to the obstacle . . . so you figure out who it is you're really wanting to game.

Therein lies the paradox. Her friend is actually kinda cute, but she hangs on the bitch's every word. The bitch is the alpha female of that two set. If I'm calibrating this right, I need to freeze-out the bitch, DHV, and like a set of dominoes, the cute one will fall over for me as well.

>"Gee, is your friend always so abrasive. You know loud and mouthy people tend to be like that because they have had difficult childhoods. But don't feel so bad...I think it is endearing." *Smiles*

That would work.

I'd agree. But last night I was thinking about trying something MORE risky.

This bitch is a typical master of manipulation - these type of people are all the same. When they are not masquerading behind a cocky-funny facade, they hide a shed load of insecurities. If I force her to confront her demons, i.e the truth, I will completely disarm her in front of her friend.

I was thinking...

"Gee, is your friend always so abrasive. You know loud and mouthy people tend to be like that because they have had difficult childhoods. I knew a friend, she was exactly like you. She felt the best way to confront her insecurities was to congregate all the negative energy in the abdomen area and then imagine it flow up through the chest and down her arm into her clenched fist. (NLP) When she released opened her hand she felt the weight of her problems disappear. Maybe you should try it... You know it's not YOUR fault."

Now this is powerful stuff. I'm gonna be pushing the bitch's Achilles heel. And she's not going to like it one bit. She's going to hit out. Like they say, *things get worse, before they get better.*

The good thing about this game is, whatever she says to *bitch test* me, I can respond with one, cut her to the quick answer - *It's not YOUR fault. Release your insecurities.*

(If anyone has seen Good Will Hunting they'll know what I mean.)

For freeze-out, I was thinking of whispering something in the cute one's ear. "Your friend, has a voice like a guy, don't you think."

I know she'll smile, and that will really tick of the bitch.

But is this shit TOO heavy?

conclusion
If this works, I can kino with the cute one, another day. For the moment, I have DHV'd and I have made it clear who REALLY is the Alpha here.

Thoughts please.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 1:37 am 
Quote:
>Well, normally you would ignore the target more and give more attention to the obstacle . . . so you figure out who it is you're really wanting to game.

Therein lies the paradox. Her friend is actually kinda cute, but she hangs on the bitch's every word. The bitch is the alpha female of that two set. If I'm calibrating this right, I need to freeze-out the bitch, DHV, and like a set of dominoes, the cute one will fall over for me as well.
Well, operating like that, you're also running the danger of attracting the bitch, who's already attracted to begin with. But, you may get the friend to follow suit, and then you'll just have to make your intentions clear.
Quote:
>"Gee, is your friend always so abrasive. You know loud and mouthy people tend to be like that because they have had difficult childhoods. But don't feel so bad...I think it is endearing." *Smiles*

That would work.

I'd agree. But last night I was thinking about trying something MORE risky.

This bitch is a typical master of manipulation - these type of people are all the same. When they are not masquerading behind a cocky-funny facade, they hide a shed load of insecurities. If I force her to confront her demons, i.e the truth, I will completely disarm her in front of her friend.
One thing you HAVE to beware of when you talk about forcing someone to confront their demons, is this . . . that's not disarming the bitch shield. That's taking things MUCH further. Sure, at times, and on the right girl, it could be effective, but watch that. Upon reading below what you plan to say, you could roll with that, but I definitely wouldn't go any deeper than that. Not yet anyway.
Quote:
I was thinking...

"Gee, is your friend always so abrasive. You know loud and mouthy people tend to be like that because they have had difficult childhoods. I knew a friend, she was exactly like you. She felt the best way to confront her insecurities was to congregate all the negative energy in the abdomen area and then imagine it flow up through the chest and down her arm into her clenched fist. (NLP) When she released opened her hand she felt the weight of her problems disappear. Maybe you should try it... You know it's not YOUR fault."

Now this is powerful stuff. I'm gonna be pushing the bitch's Achilles heel. And she's not going to like it one bit. She's going to hit out. Like they say, *things get worse, before they get better.*

The good thing about this game is, whatever she says to *bitch test* me, I can respond with one, cut her to the quick answer - *It's not YOUR fault. Release your insecurities.*

(If anyone has seen Good Will Hunting they'll know what I mean.)

For freeze-out, I was thinking of whispering something in the cute one's ear. "Your friend, has a voice like a guy, don't you think."

I know she'll smile, and that will really tick of the bitch.

But is this shit TOO heavy?

conclusion
If this works, I can kino with the cute one, another day. For the moment, I have DHV'd and I have made it clear who REALLY is the Alpha here.

Thoughts please.
There you go. My current thoughts.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 7:11 pm 
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Thanks, I'm gonna go with my first prep, it's not too OTT.


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