I really need some help.
I'm 28, don't have many friends, and have very little experience with women. I've been studying tons of pickup material the past few years with very little results. Ive gotten only a few numbers and only one day 2 which didn't go anywhere over the years. One problem I have is I rarely get out there. Its crazy it seems after all the books and systems I read I could open a chick and have a conversation but I cant seem to do it. My appearance isnt that great which I'm trying to improve and the approach feels needy, awkward and unnatural to me. maybey I should go with indirect openers?
I'm really confused and I guess I need some kinda newbie mission to get myself out there.
Any good newbie missions for a guy in my situation?
I've read one somewhere where you go out, make eye contact and say hi to every girl u see.
I'd feel like a total idiot doing this and if I saw myself or anyone else doing this it would look very wierd too me.
What I think would look more natural would be to ask directions, or the time, then eject.
some places I've been going are malls, grocery stores, and drug stores during the day. I feel very akward going in bars and never been in a club before.
So how did you get started in the field, what openers did you use etc.
Any missions, tips, or help would be greatly appriciated.
Thanks.

There is one where you do this, to get over approach anxiety. I think the mall was the recommended location. I think it would be more natural but the problem with this is, it may make you too selective about who you talk to and you may only end up talking to 1 or 2 women when your in town (instead of lots). There's nothing wrong with sarging in places you know.

To me it sounds like a confidence problem rather than the material. You said you feel awkward but at the end of the day you can't read people's minds; who cares what people think of you. You can improve though; first of all improve your body language, stand taller, project your voice more, practise pitch/tone (maybe by recording yourself reading from a book and then improve it, just an idea).

Mission: Tomorrow (or next time your in town, shopping/browsing) talk to a least 5 women (they don't need to be hot and they can be part of a couple) hold eye contact, smile and ask them the directions, what they recommend food wise on a menu anything. In one of the conversation maybe add another follow-up line to their response before ejecting.

Night Mission (next time you're out in a bar/pub/club): Mystery newbie mission, three sets, per hour for four hours 4 times a week. If this isn't possible maybe work your way up (say 3 sets a night).

Work on your inner game: Don't think of yourself as looking weird or as an idiot because of your behaviour. Think of yourself as being a "good catch" for women. I'm sure someone has some better inner game advice but you need to work on it.

Keep it up and it'll come. Opening to women is never easy but it does get easier the more you do it; don't over think it, use the 3 second rule.

Keep me posted.

Welcome to the forum deprived.

As blazer already said, this IS an inner game issue, not a material issue. The whole eye contact thing . . . don't feel awkward, or like it's strange to make, and keep eye contact. It's actually the opposite. Eye contact shows CONFIDENCE. When you break the EC, it shows that you are NOT confident, which is an automatic turn off.

Your first real step is to get comfortable with YOURSELF. You have to be comfortable in your own skin before ANYONE else will be comfortable with you. You HAVE to come to terms with who YOU are. Once you do that, you'll be on your way to having confidence radiating from you, and others will notice.

Don't worry about others opinions of you. Trust me, they DON'T lay awake at night thinking of that strange guy that didn't make eye contact with them. NOPE. They lay in bed thinking about that stupid mistake THEY made that day.

Mystery would say to go out four nights a week and approach 3 women per hour.

If you're in a hurry to vault yourself into the society, that is certainly a way to go. On the other hand, if you want to take baby steps....

I like the idea of smiling and saying hi to every woman you walk by, or at least every women who makes eye contact with you. You will be amazed how many women will not only smile back at you, but also say "hi."

Heres what I think you need to do:

Work on your inner game
Start working out
Peacock
GET OUT THERE AND JUST DO IT

Your 28, you need to just say fuck it and just go out to a mall or wherever and start working on your game. Go out and give it 100 percent.

Now when I said all that all I meant to do was to motivate you. In no way am I trying to be an asshole. Say what I wrote to you above a couple of times over and over aloud or in your head.

Welcome to the forum and good luck.

Bedrock

Do this. Seriously. If it seems weird to you, you need to do it, because people who are confident will say "hi" to total strangers without a second thought. It sounds to me like you need to build that confidence (and get the positive feedback of having people reply). And when you get used to hearing yourself clearly and confidently saying "hi", rather than just meekly choking out a muffled, incoherent noise that nobody notices, you will know you've achieved something, and it will make you feel better.

Also, as a more general exercise, try to become aware of the social/public situations that make you feel nervous. Do you hesitate to walk near groups of people in case you "get in their way"? What about groups of children? If so, ask yourself why you feel intimidated by people two decades younger than you! Maybe these examples don't apply to you, but try to become aware of what makes you feel uncomfortable and the next time that situation comes up, push your nerves aside and do what you ordinarily wouldn't.

Asymptote, welcome to the forum.

Im thinking of the same questions about getting out in the field in a big way, and thought of going to the coast with a mate for a week and working through 'demonic confidence'. Nothing but jumping into the prog, surf and sweeties..

Thanks for the greeting L.A. Tripp!

And by the way Deprived, I realised last night why you might be feeling strange about the "eye contact/saying hi" exercise...
It occurred to me that you might be thinking this meant "identify every girl in the area and walk up to them one-by-one, say hi, and then wander off to the next girl". Nope. If this is what you were thinking, then yeah, I can see how it would seem strange. I always interpreted this exercise as just walking around, and as a girl passes you (going down the aisle in the supermarket, for instance), when she glances at you briefly, catch her gaze and say "Hi" confidently.

Don't worry about approaching in the first stage of learning your game, just get comfortable saying hi to strangers when you cross paths with them by accident.

If you haven't read The Game yet that would be a pretty good start. Not that it has too much actual useful material to it but a general gathering of several theories. Also, if you want to go out and spend about $25 at a local bookstore to pick up "The Rules of The Game". A two book set by Neil Strauss [aka Style the Author of The Game" One of the books is specifically for beginners who are looking for a fast route to overcoming all the mental hurdles and have you on your way to becoming a successful PUA in no time.


It seems you have some lack of inner game holding you back as well. There are numerous things that can help that. We're all here to help each other after all. Feel free to PM me if you want some more material or a break down of the books that I have mentioned.


Hope you receive the help you were looking for while you are here.

_________________
Seduction isn't making someone do what they don't want to do.Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already.