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1. I suggested meeting. She seemed enthusiastic.
2. Meeting point. I was late 10 min. We hug. That felt bad. She was very uncomfortable – hugged nearly touching. Fuck. How did I manage to get to this point? Ok – I know the answer,
3. The bus stop. Did the trust test. She failed. I punished her for that by showing disinterest and pretending to walk away.
4. The bus. Did the 5 questions game. She was laughing. On the bus she started talking boring shit about teachers, exams. The bitch afc in me wanted to go against my own will and start talking about it, but I killed him and remained silent. For some time it felt uncomfortable. She tried to initiate boring stuff and I blocked it with silence. It was as if we hadn‘t anything to talk about.
5. The road to the art gallery. Did the trust test again. She passed. A few minutes later, while walking, took her hand. Squeezed it. She didn‘t squeeze it back so I pushed her hand away. Started playing push and pull. Taking her hand as a reward about saying something I liked and releasing her hand for saying something I didn‘t. I must admit it was a bit of an act. She didn‘t know I was doing some stuff (I never told her).I still punished her for that. I did push and pull until she would squeeze back my hand. I avoided scientific topics as they were leading toward comfort, not attraction. Started fooling around at the traffic light. We both blew air so that green light would turn on. It didn’t. I teased her for blowing in the wrong direction.
6. The art gallery. Oh this is so very very important. I decided to go to Korean water color exhibition. Something I‘m very passionate about. I was going to this gallery not for her; I was going to this gallery for myself. She could not even been there and I would still have enjoyed the visit. At the art gallery I got all excited and high energy. Oriental watercolor is something I enjoy so much. We started looking at the paintings. I told some vegetables in the painting looked like little pigs. She started laughing. I teased her about her laugh being funny and that she‘s very loud. Then I said vegetables also reminded me of something. She immediately wanted to know what was it? I said „ Oh I can‘t tell you that”. Than she begged to tell me. I teased her about her embarrassing us if she bursts into laughs again. She didn‘t stop asking to tell. I told her. She started laughing. We stopped at every painting. I was telling her what I was seeing, and she was telling what she was telling, we made up stories about action happening in every painting. And there were like 100 paintings. We went threw so many different emotions. After 5 painting we were tightly holding hands (fingers in between), after 20 paintings we were holding each other on the waist. After 30, I could wrap my hand around her, touching her boobs. >40 the kino became autopilot. We could do anything to each other. It seemed so natural and comfortable. While leaving the gallery we kissed. I was fun and teased her after the kiss as well.
7. We went for a walk in the city. We teased each other. I said multiple times we could never be together. She revealed her not so nice side. I liked that. But I had to go to another place, so we kissed and parted ways. But I felt that she would follow me if I wanted her to.
However, thank good we parted ways, because all that high energy attraction state was making me very tired. It’s as if it was draining all my energy.
So it seems were gona date each other. The only thing left is sex.
Lessons I learned:
1. Go with a girl to places you‘re interested. Do it for yourself, not for her. You’ll be more high energy in places you really ant to go to.
2. It doesn‘t matter. A girl can be a Nobel Prize winner, but she will still have those basic attraction switches all girls have.
„But she is different than other girls“– that’s classical afc bitch thinking.
Questions remained:
1. Is it normal for attraction faze to be energy draining?
2. How do I incorporate my sensitive, scientific, long talks about cosmos stuff into this relationship? That’s part of me and I can‘t just throw it away. Some girls are actually turned on by that (but I suppose in some emotional, not sexual way)
3. How do I know when there’s enough teasing?
And here‘s the finally.
In the evening I wrote to her „You know, I’m angry at myself. This shouldn‘t have happened. Could we be just friends“
She burst into laughs.
CHAT
