I had a lot of trouble answering the question myself. So I thought I might ask you guys.

So why did you seek the pickup artists in the first place (or whatever other name you had for it)?
Did you guys want to become pickup artists (or whatever other name you had for it)?


Here is how I proceeded:

In my mind (at least) the name "pickup artist" is really a more socially acceptable disguise for "player".

I said to myself: If I seek a teacher to teach me how to become an architect, it's because I want to become an architect, right? If I seek a tennis trainer, it's because I want to become a tennis player, right?

But now, I seeked tips and secrets from players (if you consider pickup artists as players. I do because they basically do the same thing anyway.) Did I want to become a player myself?

I am having a hard time dealing with that because I don't really think I wanted to become one... but then again, I came here and I got the tips. I just want to know what made you come here.

P.S.: If this isn't in the right section, I'm sorry. And if a post has already been made about the same thing - I'm pretty sure - please delete this post (I really searched but I found nothing)

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You can have any colour you like.

This is an inner game issue. You think you have to become a stereotypical "player" in order to date beautiful women, when that's nowhere near the truth.

We all came here for different reasons. Most of us did end up here because we wanted to be able to walk into any venue, find a woman that we are attracted to, and take her home with us. Most of us did. But, as you get involved, you find that there's so much more to it than that. It's not actually about finding a woman to take home to have sex with you. Although, you CAN use it for that.

Yes, players use the principles we use to attract women, but that doesn't make a PUA a player.

So, in YOUR mind, why do you believe that in order to have a full dating life you need to be a player?

Well i started this just to be more sociable, and think of the women as a perk. I used to get freaked out at social events but now they are nothing. The bad thing is unhinging the game(i will give style his credit, it does make it sound cool), I sometimes use game on girls that i dont want and therefore become somewhat of a tease. And i definatley did not get in this to hurt anyone. But the manipulating of interactions is just awsome.

I think learning from the puas changed my life. Although im still learning, and am quite inexperienced in the field, i am able to already feel a huge plus in my confidence and a change in the paradigm of seeing the interactions between people. I learned and got involved in the pick up community cuz i wanted to pick up, have relationships and get laid with HB8+'s (which most guys dream of), and not living a life where I settle down with HB5-'s or dying as a virgin.

About the player thing, I want to ask you a question. Its an idea i got from David DeAngelo. Do you think that a guy who is not in a relationship, sleeping with different girls after picking them up is considered a player? Cuz this is what i want to do when im not in a relationship.

I dont have a desire to manipulate people, I dont feel I have a hole that needs to be filled by pretending to live this 'player' lifestyle. I dont have a problem with most social situations and before learning about PUA's etc I didn't have a problem with approaching girls.

My problem tends to be that I let myself get drawn in to a relationship too quickly. I am always interested in genuinely connecting with people. And while this is really special, I find myself wishing I didn't let it go so far because most often I don't want the kind of relationship that the girl wants.

I have been really lucky with the people I have met. I have got to spend time and grow close to some really great girls. Maybe this has spoilt me a bit...I take this kind of connection for granted now. So now I think I just want to fck around for a while, and avoid going too deep until I'm ready for it again. Learning how to do this is what I'm most interested in, and why (I think) I'm here.

Well, just to be clear, there's nothing wrong with that.

As long as you don't "damage" a girl in the process. Or do something illegal.

Why are we here? Well I'm interested in social psychology. PUA is just an extension and practice for basic concepts in a much larger field.