I've been "field testing" this, but not so much as an opener. It's more of just a conversation starter with any group I find myself in. I've started by asking my close friends (male and female).
I've also changed the question to permit the use of both physical and personality traits. I want to see how people react in a situation where they are asked to analyze themselves.
Me: What are your top 3 qualities?
Them: Physical or Personality?
Me: You can choose answers from both aspects, just tell me your top 3.
They are ALWAYS hesitant to answer. While they contemplate what they will choose I go into a little back story about how I am indeed polling everyone that I know. This allows me to compare and contrast their response to past responses. I also talk about how rarely we compliment ourselves and we feel put on the spot when asked such a question. It's difficult to compliment one's self, let alone choose our own 3 best qualities. Essentially, my aim at this point is to talk about the thought process behind it so much that they don't feel that their answer has to impress me. I want the honest answer. How does this person really view themselves? I also tell them (and this is the truth) that I have yet to be able to answer this question. It was originally due to lack of confidence (which I do not tell them) but now it's very much due to the fact that I feel my answer would be polluted by watching so many others answer it.
In addition, people are hesitant to use physical traits as their answers. I do not coerce them into choosing physical or personality traits. However after they have answered the question and chosen their top 3, I go into my analysis. I reward them for each of their choices, rather than put them down or judge them. It's definitely not my place to judge them, particularly when I can't answer the question myself.
I've asked about a dozen people so far and only 1 person has included a physical trait. My friend's wife. I'm going to use her entire response as an example for you guys.
1: Dorkiness
2: Intelligence
3: Boobs
This is how I respond to their choices:
Quote:
Dorkiness - You know that being cool doesn't require conforming to pop culture's subliminal instructions. You're comfortable liking things that other people don't like and you're strong willed enough to continue liking them despite the protest of others.
Intelligence - Many people will look at all of the times they've failed in mental challenges. We all do. Your intelligence, however, has given you the strength and confidence to revel in your successes. You never claimed to be the smartest person on Earth, you just know that you're smart enough.
Boobs - Without beating around the bush, you've stated what many people are hesitant to state. You know that physicality is a part of reality. It's unfortunate so many people these days will deny it and tell you that it's only what's inside that counts. Millions of years of life on Earth, throughout evolution, remind us that we are genetically predisposed to wanting someone with healthy physical features.
I don't see this question ever becoming an opener, because it is indeed a polling. It's also a pretty personal topic in some situations, but I throw it into the mix as soon as there is any lull in the conversation. As you can tell from how much I'm able to write about this, there are countless possibilities and where to go with the things discussed during and after the question.
In comparison to Mystery's version of this question, mine is less qualification based on the friendly manner in which I propose it. As I use this in more sarging situations, it will evolve and become more of a qualification tool. So right now, it's more comfort.
CHAT