I was reflecting on my early days in the community today. Here's a little story about a problem I've seen many guys have.

Early on, I thought I had lots of "holes" in my game. I was approaching girls, but the sets weren't sticking, I wasn't getting numbers, etc. Clearly, something was wrong.

So I took an instructor I knew and had him watch me do a few sets. I was expecting him to give me some very detailed, insightful feedback later on.

Instead, all he said was: "Everything's fine."

Everything's fine.

I was incredulous. I wondered whether he was joking, too inexperienced to see the mistakes I was making... Or maybe not looking at my approaches closely enough. Hell, maybe he was trolling me.



I now understand that he was absolutely right, because I've been in his position more than once. Guys take single approaches, dates or phonecalls and spend way too much time mulling over them.

In reality, everything really is fine so long as you're making progress and practicing constantly. That's all that matters. Don't waste time trying to analyze every little thing in your head, because practice makes perfect: not thinking about what you might be doing wrong every step of the way.

So don't stress the little things. Doubting yourself and trying to find screw-ups where there are none is a very common mistake; don't make it. If you find a real sticking point that persists over time, address it; otherwise, keep going and you'll find that everything's fine .

Hope this post offers a fresh perspective on things to some of you!

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Well, it depends on what mistakes you are doing right... And if your instructor sees that you do not improve because you are held back by something that you dont dare adress.

I for one know from experience that yes, the learning curve is what matters but you learn way faster with feedback and hints.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

There's the problem right there for everyone to see. I can relate to this and have had this problem. I've never even met anyone who has remote interest in the game so you're lucky to have had someone there to see if everything was ok.

Sometimes even the best get blown out sometimes. It just happens. Sometimes your game, no matter how brilliantly devised just isn't good enough at that time of day and the girl in question WILL blow you out.

Now if you walk around thinking that there's something wrong with your game and that you're not doing things right if you genuinely believe you are, then you're only lowering your inner game. Surely this will show? Maybe you'll start using untested openers that quite simply don't work well because you believed your old ones didn't hook when really they did. Etc.

I hope this gives you some insight.