Hey Adam, I've got a real problem. I have fallen in love with a girl who I consider my best friend. This girl has invested time and energy into me beyond the call of duty and I don't know why... I really think she sees me as "just a friend" and so I've been trying to get out of the "friendzone", so I'm on this 2 week freeze out from her and I guess my point is that late Sunday night, she called me up and asked me to come over; that she was depressed. I said no, due to the "freeze out", but I feel bad about it and I feel like I owed it to her to go over. I'm a week in but I really do miss her to the point I'm almost ready to cut this shit out and just call her. Any advice? Should I stick this out or go about it a different way?? Thanks -Constantine

Hey Adam,

I was thinking about introducing one of my best friends to the world of pick-up because I could really use a wing in-field. What do you think about this and what do you think the best way to go about this is? I have heard of bad reactions to telling people about pick up, and I don't want this to happen to me.

Thanks

Dear Adam,

(skip to bold if you don't want to skip to the point)

I've been going out with a few of my mates to "sarge". I really dislike that term but thats what the call it and there are more of them.

I generally like to see my days with them that I "sarge" as days I hang out with buddies, and if I happen to see a cute chicka, I go talk to her. Anyways thats beside the point.

When we do go out it will happen that none of us talk to anyone at all. But when I am alone I will talk to girls that I consider cute.

What is going on?

I generally like to use direct openers or compliment openers (thats a cool bracelet! or I think you look really cute) on cold sets, and indirect on warm sets.

I've never gotten a poor response out of either of my methods, and I usually hook. I'm not afraid of opening, I'm really not. I don't have that fear gripping my heart.

Why cant I open when I'm with my mates, but I can when I'm alone?

They all practice pickup (in case you skipped down)

Cheers

P.S. What character were you in D&D?

Hey man. How've you been? Hope everything is going good.
First things first, thank you for the time and effort. I should give you a hug man! Here's a cyber-hug.

First things second, hah. I actually wanted to write a new post about this, but since my post count isnt 50 yet, I couldnt. So i thought that until I reach that number, I would discuss it with you.
I've always thought that being nice can't be what turns women off. I actually have this friend that girl's around him love, and guys befriend him within minutes. He's a good guy. And he is what "we" label as a "nice guy". For the record (in case this makes any difference), he is very good looking, but thats not it.
This guy always puzzled me. There's just something about him that makes his interaction with other people so smooth. Charisma
He used to give me some advice on how to act around women. I once asked him about how is he so good with women, he said: "I just understand them. I understand women".
Now this is great, but it wasnt helpful. I wanted to learn his mental attitude, his mindset about women. Nevertheless.

Anyway Adam, to get to the point, I think there is a fundamental difference that I found between me and him (and pretty much everyone who's good with women). I have a passive aggressive behavior. He doesnt.
(By the way man, this is what may lead to this kind of behavior: "It is thought that this pattern is learned in childhood. It is most likely a response to parents who exercised complete control and did not let their child express themselves. To cope, a child will adopt a passive-aggressive behavior pattern" And this in fact, is what my childhood was like. Boohoo)
Anyways man, its not about being nice or not. Being nice has always been a good thing. Passiveness, isnt.

The hard thing is that most passive aggressive people dont realize that they are. This is actually in the definition. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passive_aggression

This may be the first time you hear of it, maybe not. But since I trust your good and wise advice you've always gave us, what's your take on that & how do you think someone that acts this way can stop this behavior?

Loads of Love man,

File

Hey Adam,
As some of the guys have already mentioned, massive thanks for taking the time out to reply.

I think I may already know the answer to my situation but might as well get a second opinion:

A few months ago I met this girl and we started to hang out 1-3 times a week (always with a group of friends, at a music festival, bbq, clubbing or party). Anyway looking back on it now I realized she's a flirt (always hooking up with a guy at a club, getting approached all the time, it's like the attention boosts her self image, confidence and ego). I could write down stories going into detail of how there were signals and I never had the balls to take advantage, and how most of the time it seemed she was playing me, but i'll skip to the defining moment.

Skipping Minor details, myself, her and a good female friend of ours went to a club, and she ends up with a guy, we leave and she stays, i'm waiting to go home but receive a text asking if im still in the club, I call her (no calling credit) saying im outside, she probably doesn't hear me so I wait out front (club lockout) (probably a shit move), anyway later she comes out holding hands with the guy and they walk off in some direction. I call out after her and they come towards me. The guy doesn't even look at me, but she asks me random questions and then says something like "might see you tomorrow, or the day after" (no idea what she's referring to) I say sometime like "whatever" and I just get up and leave. I realized she left her jacket and bag at the cloakroom and try calling her while walking in the general direction of the club to get water anyway, and she doesn't pick up and when I yell across the street she couldn't hear me, so I ignore her and walk off.

Fast forward to the next day and I did the following:
-wrote on a friends wall saying that it was good he didnt come out since it ended awkwardly for certain people
-Wrote her a fb msg saying she later replied with something like ".................... hope you got home ok too. mm "

Later on msn she quotes what I wrote on my friends wall and 'the discussion' began. She asks if I was angry at her for last night and apologizes for if she was rude in which I reply diplomatically each time with things like "no, as long as you had fun. Everything's fine". Anyway she brings up how she knows i like her and how i've been acting strange since another party where she was with a guy and I apperantly got angry, and she goes on about how she likes me as a friend and she hopes we still can be even though it may be a little bit uncomfortable, and if we're still going to be friends I'll have to accept it. I reply with one sentence/word replies and we end the convo on a "cya in the near future" tone. I later sent her a fb msg saying I was sorry for being a jerk and hope we can still be friends and something like 'cya in a few months (exams are soon anyway, plus I think shes travelling in the holidays. Plus tbh it was kinda awkward) (probably another bad move on my part) and she replies saying its fine and something like 'youre such a drama queen! we'll see each other before that'

Anyway I was at a party tonight where she was also in attendance. I don't think we even looked at each other. When we first met we started off really tight and bonded realllllly well, but then it got really inconsistent (going to her place, me saying i'll go over and her being cool with it and 'changing' dates last minute, inviting me out, ignoring me, etc). Anyway, her birthday is coming up, still contemplating on not going, but the big question is, how long should I ignore her for? Is there even any chance in the future? Also for future reference, How do you handle these 'flirts?'

If you managed to read that all and bother replying... Kudos to you!

Hey Adam,

So I've been seeing this girl who is a friend of my younger sister for about a month and a half it started off good but the past 3 weeks ive only seen her like once a week for like 2 hours. We had are first talk last saturday when i was kissing her on her bed and she told me that something felt weird cuz i was her friends brother. We then continued talking and I gave her a speech about how it shouldnt matter and not to miss out on stuff and then I ran the cube on her. I felt like she was almost going to LJBF's me but I told her that we should just not put any labels on anything. She also just turn 18 and seems like she doesnt always wanna see me on the weekend nights, we dont really have the same friends. i sent her a text yesterday saying that I wanta see her next weekend and go to the strip club she said yes as long as she isnt going to her cabin, but I dont know I think shes been texting other guys a lot too. Is there anyway I can save this, in the past couple days I've just been staying strong C and F and writing and talking about a bunch of fun stuff and talking to girls on my facebook.
I also made a comment on one of her statuses it wasnt sexual but it just kinda made it evident im seeing her and she removed that status the next day. Do you think I should cut my losses or just try to keep a strong frame and get her to experience my reality?

Great stuff. I've got a date set up after my exams next week. I'm just gonna tease her, then do a k-close routine. Hopefully I'll finish things.

I've got a new question. It involves text game. I'm pretty terrible at texting. I hardly send texts on my phone but I figure I need to get a good thing going with it. I don't know where to start and there all kinds of different methods on all the forums. Is there a consistent structure I can follow?