Dear AFC Kumar,

Try not to be confrontational, try to look at the world through the other persons eyes. I agree that he does come off as insecure but instead of just seeing it, try using it to your advantage.

“hey buddy, didn't mean to step on your toes, just so you know me and X are just friends and I've currently got my eye on someone anyway, no hard feelings”

you haven't actually said sorry, instead you defuse the situation by addressing what's going on in his head and eliminating his fears one by one.

Hope this helps,
AFC Adam,

Dear cellarman,

haha thank you buddy, you're absolutely right being told your adding value never gets old

I'm sorry mate I have no idea if there are any copies available for download, It was Sinn's project so maybe shoot him an email to find out mate.

Good luck!

AFC Adam,

Dear cellarman,

The first half was awesome, you made her laugh, got her to tell you about herself in a fun way, it was a ll investment and done really well.

It fizzled out because you miscalibrated the escalation, a lot of guys talk to girls without an actual course of progression in mind so the escalate up to a point and then it stales out because there's no further escalation.

What did you want with this girl? Plan from the end backwards... if your goal was to sleep with her work backwards from there.

What do you need to do before that, meet up with her.
And before that? Set up the meet
and before that? Talk to her on the phone/txt
and before that? Get her number....

so on and so on.

Right before it the conversation lulled, she was challenging you and playing up the role, she was basically saying yes and all you needed to do was lead but because you didn't and pretty much left the leading to her it made her realize she was the one who was doing the work and that made her reluctant to carry on.

What you could have done was to reward her compliance by saying you thought she was cool and get her number with a justified reason such as a party you want to invite her and her friends to, then run phone game and set up a day 2.

from now on in all your interactions with girls, have the goal in your mind and work towards that.

Hope this helps,
AFC Adam,

Dear File,

Hey bro,

A good book to read for fun is Simply Irresistible The Psychology of Seduction - How to Catch and Keep Your Perfect Partner by Dr Raj Persaud

He has a good understanding of human interpersonal relations and he's theories are grounded in psychology so it's a good interesting read.

Let me know what you think!
AFC Adam,

Dear dr_jekll,

Ah the good ol days, we ran around the center of London and approached 200 hundred women a day with that one.

Okay,

The first thing you need to understand is that it has to be high energy, if you do this with a straight face and quietly the girl will just keep on walking and think your weird, have a big smile on your face, talk with energy and enthusiasm and most importantly keep it fun!

So the first step is to get a ring, the cheaper and more childish the better, make sure it's big and blatantly fake.

Once you have that your ready to open, the target should be walking towards you (group sets are better than single ones but it should work on all), when she's a couple of feet away say in a loud voice,

“there is something I've been meaning to ask you...” and drop to one knee while pulling out the ring so she can see it.

She should stop and laugh...

At this point you go into a speech about how you've loved her for ages now and she's the only one for you, the cheesier the better.

Then ask her to marry you, keep it fast and fun When she says yes (or if she just laughs). Shout loudly “we need a priest!”

at this point your wing steps in and says

“I'm a priest”

now your wing has to take lead, there is no room for hesitation, he has to manage the crowd by telling them to gather while standing in front of the two of you...


“dearly beloved! We are gathered here today to take...”

Points at the girl to prompt her for her name, then at you...

Now the funnier the vows the better, keep them outrageous and larger than life, the key to this is making the whole thing larger than life.

Lots of kino, laughing and fun.

Have a camera ready and take lots of pictures, This is your justification for the close (whats your facebook, I'll send you our wedding pics) course she'll say yes and from there you can say you know what, this is silly your my wife! I need to be able to contact you in case I need to send you some of the wedding gifts type in your number too, hand her the phone and close.


This is a loose structure for this game, I kept it that way because each time there will be variables and new things to handle but don't worry about it, that's all part of the fun.

Oh you've so brought back many memories from the old days, let me know how it goes!

AFC Adam,

Dear V3nu,

Question 1:
The number one thing I do is treat all girls the same, I'm nice to all of them, I joke with all of them, I have fun with all of them, When they see you don't treat them any differently a number of things happen but most importantly they see your not trying to get anything from them, how can they when you treat all girls the same?

If you have a specific target that's fine, if you don't that's fine too. It doesn't really matter because they all start off the same anyway.

Question 2:
actually you'd be surprised just how easy it is, If you have a group of females like you and they're all interested then your preselection (them wanting you) goes way up because you're in demand but are in short supply, basic economics high demand low supply = increase in prices. It's the same with people. If you run decent game, isolate and let her know of your intentions before anything has happened not only will she accept it, she will also like you more for being honest. When you have the understanding that the two of you are friends that things happen with, you become the guy that doesn't count and you can do the same with the rest of them.

At one point I had 14 girls who were all part of my social circle and they all knew I was the guy that didn't count, as long as you don't brag and they trust you not to sat anything to anyone else and you keep your dealings with the rest quiet, you'll be okay.

Run discrete game, be honest about your intentions before anything happens with them and keep an eye our for their reputation and everything should be fine. Be the guy who doesn't count.

Hope this helps,
AFC Adam,

Dear Soul_7 ,

Hey bro,

To be honest just run game man.

Comfort
Break Rapport
Qualify
Sexual Escalation

I've written a ton about the subject on in this thread and all over the internet have a read up on it. Here's one thing though.

I've noticed a common mistake a lot of guys out there make when re gaming a girl they previously met, they assume it's still on and pick up right where they left off. Then their surprised to see the girl isn't as warm as the night before. You have to game the girl from scratch every time you meet her, the saying men are flicker switches while women are dimmer switches really holds true. The good news is that with each interaction it takes less effort to get them warmed to you. Remember start from comfort and progress through game.

Hope this helps,
AFC Adam

Dear callmecaptain,

Dude I feel ya, that's why I stay away from games (especially WOW) conversation is like a muscle, the more you use it the stronger it gets but it works in reverse too, the less you use it the weaker it gets. I used to be a geek who hung out at home all the time and only bothered to talk to my online friends and the guys who would come over to play D&D

With all this my life was a lil too isolated for my liking, especially with women. So I got out there and starting to talk to women... lots and lots of women, I had to game for 7 hours a day 5 days a week for three months before I saw any results. But then again I was a big big geek and I started off in a worse position, I doubt your in that bad a position.

You already know the answer buddy, start gaming again pick a number of sets your going to do a day and do it!

AFC Adam,

Dear desertfox565,

Heya buddy.

Okay this post turned out to be listing a lot of things you did wrong, I may even come accross as a lil harsh on you but thats only because i really want you to understand the message and unfortunately we can only communicate via words on screen so i tried to make it very obvious for you to understand! i mean it all in the nicest way buddy because i want you to improve! :0)

The face is a private area, you need quite a lot of comfort for someone to be happy with you touching their face, also it's a bit of an odd location to kino, why not kino arms, lower back, stomach, legs, bum (only if your at the right place in the interaction) remember to always keep kino light and quick.

Secondly, don't leave your girl to generate social proof, there's no point. Your there to see her not other people, if anything get into conversations with the people around the two of you but don't leave her to specifically go meet other people, it sends the wrong messages and doesn't actually help you game, you'd be far better of spending that time talking to her, especially if you don't get to see each other all that often.

Your pushing the wrong frame, you've set it up so your “seducing her” which means she will naturally say no to your advances because she knows your after something from her, your meant to add value instead of take, when we know someone wants something from us our guards automatically go up and we don't allow the person to get away with much.

You need to always reward compliance, if she doesn't something you say, you need to make her feel good about it, don't neg at all there's no point, it could offend her and it looks like your trying too hard.

You didn't add enough value to make her want to hang out with you more, instead you pushed it by dismissing everything “this is boring” is very negative and will build up a negative association with you, fun people create their own fun wherever they are. It's not where you are it's who your with that counts.

Your texts just kept punishing her for doing what you told her to do, “you were behaving like a queen” either that's sarcasm or an over compliment, also it's very confusing... next time you say something about someone give a reason for it.

The bit about being a nice girl sounded sarcastic also, but what are you trying to achieve by saying that? Are you just hoping for a reply? I mean it sounds a little weird man, people don't usually speak like that you would have been better of f saying you thought she was [something positive] and gave a reason for it...

“You know I had my suspicions about you, but after seeing how you handled that creepy guy who was hitting on you I saw that your actually a nice girl for letting him down so gently, are you always so friendly?”


Do you actually know if she was bored? Because if it turned out she had a good time then you thinking it was so boring made you look quite negative, also your not leading, instead of saying lets do something more fun (which can easily be misinterpreted as to implying something sexual (which your not ready for in your current stage of the interaction) take the lead and suggest a course of action...

by the way, do you like ____?

no way, me too! Okay there's the place that does the best ______ [explain the place in a cool way] have you ever been?

You haven't? Right that's it I'm taking you there, when are you free?

Aside from that well done on getting her out with you in the first place buddy, give it a couple days and go back to comfort...

Hope this helps bro!
AFC Adam

Dear airwave2oo8,

Dude that's deep. Honestly I think counseling will for you way more than I could from a post. Get some professional help they know what they're talking about and give you a huge support network which is vital when we're battling our own inner demons.

I think callmecaptain was pretty on the money, I think getting professional help and trying new things that add to your life will do you a lot of good.

Good luck mate,
AFC Adam,

Dear Rhythmatic,

1 – well it depends buddy, I find that the best breaks in rapport are the teasing variety as they add value and bring more fun into the interaction by default, but there have been times where I have done serious rapport breaks also and it's worked just as well but they look very different, a serious break in rapport will generally be used in a low energy more serious pickup whereas as the light hearted one will feel well light hearted ;0)

The principle of the break in rapport is to remove some of that initial comfort so you don't get put into the LJBF zone and is the first sparks of attraction.

2 – a party is just one way to close, you could set up an event where you all go to somewhere public, I have a friend who loves movies, so he found a small cinema and found out what days aren't busy for them and made a deal to bring 30 people for that day every week or two, as a result they get discounted tickets and a bunch of freebies while watching the latest movies, tailor your event for the kind of girls you want to meet and hang out with, if you like girls who read set up a book club at a coffee shop, if you like girls who go out arrange to bring a group of people to a bar on their least busy night and ask what the bar can do for you guys. You'd be surprised with what you can get when you can bring large groups of people on their least busy nights.

Decide what your event is and game normally, when you get to the close you always have a justified reason, “hey you seem cool, once a month a run an event where a bunch of my friends and friends of friends do X why don't you and your friends come along, what's the best way to get in contact with you, I'll send you the details”

every cool person you meet invite them to the event and soon you'll have a large group of new friends.

Hope this helps,
AFC Adam,

Dear Sardonyx,

Thank you very much buddy I really enjoyed my time at that lair event, you guys are really well organized, its always great to see lairs actually meeting up and making stuff happen! Btw you don't know if anyone recorded my talk would you, I would love a copy for my own collection!

Cheers mate,
AFC Adam,

Dear Artax,

If you break rapport properly you should never have to say sorry, instead you should say “aww your so funny, come here” and give her a hug (taking away comfort and then re establishing it again)

The way you should look at breaking rapport is essentially playfully making fun of her, but only in a way she can laugh along with as well. There are a ton of ways you can do this

disagreeing with her and play fighting her because of it
“what I cant believe you just said that, right this is war missy. I'm gonna kick your cute lil butt, don't think I'm gonna take it easy on you because your a girl though”

Getting her to touch your chest then pretending you didn't tell her to do it and grab hers in return
“what are you doing! I didn't actually mean it how would you like it if I grabber your chest” (while doing it)

there are so many little word games and riddles online, do a search for funny word games.

Too many to list dude, but it's essentially removing the comfort a bit so you don't end up in the friend zone.

Hope this helps bro,
AFC Adam,

Dear hockeyguy118,

Dude I think you should carry on, she may not be kinoing back but thats fine as all you need to do is turn her on to the point that she's jumping you.

You need to escalate or it will fizzle out, if a girl tells you everyone thinks she's innocent but she's not she's basically telling you she wants to have fun.

Send her some flirty texts and escalate, get her horny, tell her what your going to do to her the next time you see her, be descriptive pay attention to detail, get her to tell you about her biggest sexual fantasy, qualify her on how good she is in bed...

all of these things dude are vital for escalation, don't just rely on kissing and hoping she puts out, get her horny and have her jump you. She needs you to bring it of her, it's your job as the man to lead.

Hope this helps,
AFC Adam,

Dear kretuan,

Dude the metagame is about playing a bigger game than everyone else and identifying available resources and using them to your advantage, there are literally 1000's of applications to metagame, unfortunately you need a deep understanding of game and the way everyone else games to do it.

If I were you I would start off by aiming to really grounding your game and getting it tight as possible, along that path you will start to see patterns and think differently in regards to the whole subject. Then explore those and you'll come across more and more revelations and better ways of doing things, it's all about seeing how deep the rabbit hole goes.

I have written about metagame before, have a search on the net and have a read through them.

Hope this helps,
AFC Adam,