You need to do what works for you. I think that far too many people have bad situations but, they spend their lives blaming and victimizing their shitty circumstance rather than overcoming it. Good for you man.
I am so sick of the sob story. How many fathers happen to lose their children, be bad mouthed by a scorned woman, and are taken to the cleaners? How many single fathers with children who do not get shit? Mothers out whoring around, children in piss and shit diapers, and yet, the courts spoon feed them social assistance, child support, spousal support, and lets not forget, everyone should feel pity for her poor life choices.
Family is everything to me. I just have my mom. I am close with a cousin. Most family is distant but, my immediate family is there. I lost my dad and sister awhile ago. It almost feels like another life time. I am not the same person anymore.

Sure, I'm not advocating never speaking again. I think D&P's point is to stop spending a lot of time with them, and having them have sway and influence in your life.

Spend most of your time with people who enhance your life, not detract from it.

And never, ever consider something like moving your decrepit and hostile parents into your house, so they can ruin your life(which so, so many people do).
As D&P said, if your family is supportive and enriches your life - great!
I speak of my family more broadly. I had a great relationship with both my mother and my maternal grandmother. Same with a great aunt and a great uncle. But, I want nothing to do with many other people in my family and I felt no obligation to anyone other than my mother and grandmother(who are the ones that raised me).

And even in that, I would not look to them for guidance. That's a major theme here. If your family isn't doing well in ways you want to, listening to their advice is a bad idea.

Choose your friends wisely is something a lot of people believe and do. But for some people, they don't extend this to family and that is important for all of your relationships. Even family.

_________________
RSDTyler

You can feel isolated without a mother. I feel it sometimes, especially when I hear a song where the artist is lamenting the passing of his or her mother. Then I look at reality and stop idealizing about how I wish my mother would be. My mother is a gateway to ruin. She holds the best interests of her other sons over mine because they live in suffering by choice and they all see me as an easy answer. She will go along with them into attempting to manipulate me. I'm the youngest, but the only one receiving success because I put myself into a position to do so.

Then when they come to me with their hands out and I refuse they attack and attempt manipulations. They get upset like I somehow owe them something...

I know she won't be around forever. It's something I became aware of when I was young. She had a car accident that nearly killed her and I nearly became an orphan.

I'm no saint, but neither is she. The first plan for success as an Adult I made was to build my credit working a decent job then get a loan to purchase a multi-family house for some passive income. I went to school got a degree and was working the job before I graduated. I calculated how much I needed to earn to qualify for the loan and my job was paying more than enough.

I check my credit score about 3-4 years into this plan and discovered she (with full knowledge of my plan) had put some bills in my name and didn't pay them. Ruining my credit and years of hard work. I could call fraud and press charges, but that would cause her to lose her nursing license and enter into poverty like my brothers.

Why would she do something like this? It would have helped the entire family. It's the way she is. She put the bills in my name because her credit is shot, and she didn't think twice about not paying them and not telling me about it. She wouldn't do this to anyone else in the world but her family. Family forgives.

On her birthday I sent her a text message saying happy birthday as a present since we are on a 0 communication term. This is the extent of our communication at the moment.

_________________
I am a hunter of human excellence. I seek out those individuals who break the norms
and demonstrate to all of us what’s really possible. I learn what those few
extraordinary individuals do that’s different from everybody else, and then emulate
them.

Good.

A previous poster framed it in black and white; putting other forum posters down so he can bring himself up. Based on the details of other posters here though, cutting off some members of your family isn't really black and white.

It's more of a managed interaction with limitations (and asserting your independence) to minimize the damage that some family members can inflict on your life.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

hellhound, how about you grow some balls and say who you are talking about? Taking personal shots at someone while talking to someone else is passive aggressive. Passive aggressiveness is for women and afcs.

Anyway, I fully endorse a black and white cut off. All of this "manage", gray area stuff is a personal preference. Cut them off and move on with your life. If they aren't as extreme as my family then by all means manage it down, but when you live in a leper colony you have to get out entirely or catch the disease.

_________________
I am a hunter of human excellence. I seek out those individuals who break the norms
and demonstrate to all of us what’s really possible. I learn what those few
extraordinary individuals do that’s different from everybody else, and then emulate
them.

Total cut offs are justified in some cases. Yours is one of them.
It's really based on severity. Most people don't need to, but some people do.

I sometimes mention a previous poster, without bothering to go back and figure out who posted what. It's not an act of cowardice, it's lack of memory and not caring all that much. The point was what was said, not who said it.

_________________
RSDTyler

Ah ok, thanks Versalis, as I said I have like super brain capabilities so not remembering something I read a few moments ago was a perspective outside my awareness. I was just thinking to myself about why can't these other Pick-up-Artists be civil. Taking personal shots instead of discussing things rationally and calmly like grounded people are supposed to do.

_________________
I am a hunter of human excellence. I seek out those individuals who break the norms
and demonstrate to all of us what’s really possible. I learn what those few
extraordinary individuals do that’s different from everybody else, and then emulate
them.

Makes sense.
I have actually met a few gurus and spiritual teachers. They have made more impact than some so called friends or even family.
I know what you mean. You had some distant family relatives where I felt like that. If they were to be around, they would suck the life out of the room, and I knew of some friends like this as well. I do not talk to them. If you were to do PU and not pull or get a number, they would mock you in attempt to make up for their own insecurities.

No, why does your mind keep jump to the negative? I thought you were a PUA.

This reminds me of something. Like I stated in a different thread. I pull a ton of philosophies from Japanese manga artists. I believe the great ones are the unsung philosophers of our time. Granted there is a ton of garbage out there and many of them vent their misogyny and brutality through their art, but people like Eiichiro Oda for instance create these characters that stand for things we go through in our day to day lives.

Even though they are fictitious in nature they are designed to emulated reality as much as possible.

Edward Newgate:


AKA Whitebeard the person labeled the strongest man in the world. His whole deal wasn't about becoming a pirate to acquire power or fame. He wanted a family. In his crew every member he called his son. When the world government tried to execute one of his children he went to war. It was insane...

Anyway, bringing this back around. If you're reading this thread and you find nothing but misery from your family then cut those ties and create your own family. As a PUA (or PUA in training) you have or are learning a rare skillset which draws others to you. Seek out people who are great for you and who are trustworthy. You have their best interests in mind, and they have your best interests in mind.

You feed off each other in and infinite loop.

After I hit a specific number of passive income (hopefully this year) I'm buying a boat and taking the family I'm creating on a 2 year trip around the world. Hopefully, there will be some cool PUA around the globe that we can visit on the trip I'm noticing though that there is a real lack of quality characters in this world. At least from the limited pool of people I see on this forum. Some of you guys are really cool, but if you think I'm talking about you then I'm talking about you. I find it strange because this is supposed to be a self improvement mastermind group.

This might go beyond your scope of reasoning, but it's what my mind is set on. It's what motivates me to spend every waking day creating traffic sources to my book, and finding real estate leads to flip.

_________________
I am a hunter of human excellence. I seek out those individuals who break the norms
and demonstrate to all of us what’s really possible. I learn what those few
extraordinary individuals do that’s different from everybody else, and then emulate
them.

What are you talking about biting kasabi? I didn't agree with him at all. I said cut them off. Also, read my post about my mother fucking up my credit.

Finally, I never said anything about house flipping. I said lead flipping. I'm not talking about wholesaling or getting cash cows or any of that normal real estate stuff. Since your in RE... if I said I have a list of 50-1000 surveyed seller leads right now who have properties in your city, but live out of state and have filed for an eviction in the last 6 months would that be something you would pay me 8 dollars or more a lead for? If not then you're never going to make it long term in RE. How about buyer leads? Private lenders?

While your digging in the dirt for gold building doors, and floors, and plumbing, while looking for buyers or financing. I'm the man selling you the shovel and pan.

_________________
I am a hunter of human excellence. I seek out those individuals who break the norms
and demonstrate to all of us what’s really possible. I learn what those few
extraordinary individuals do that’s different from everybody else, and then emulate
them.