When he's talking about too much self improvement is a bad thing.

"It's like anything: go overboard with it and you get a little off. You lose the ability to just watch a dumb movie - that's poor productivity and the time would be better spent learning how to speed read."

I just thought that quote was funny b/c that's what i literally did last night.

Although i agree that all the things he says can be detrimental to being a "normal" empathizing human being...i don't agree that too much self improvement can be bad. I mean... why waste your time watching Flava for flav instead of reading about WWII or some historical autobiography..learning guitar...working out...writing...or simply sitting in silence just THINKING.

1. I'd much rather converse with someone who had REAL knowledge/opinions/concepts/philosophies about this world.
2. I'd feel like a person with more depth with the ability to wrap my mind around tough topics as well as relate them to my life/situations.
3. You feel accomplished after busting through a thick philosophical book AND forcing yourself to be mindful of the concepts and see how they can be generalized as well as to narrow things down.
4. Your actively working/exercising your brain and not being in passive mode.
5. You are smarter, more aware and defiantly more interesting overall.

I have to admit....changing this way about myself has made me look down upon reality shows/pointless humor like "beer league"....but that's that. If anyone says watching The Real World is being more efficient with your day then reading i'd just want to walk away.

Did i miss the point?

I think that the majority of that list applies mostly and really for a good part only, to the begginers, the ones who have gotten too caught up in the whole "secret society" deal. Or any one of us in that first 3 week period, when we're convinced that this knowledge alone destines us for ultimate sexual conquest.

But I have to question the validity of the last point.

The "magic" of sex I'll admit has worn off for me, but I still LOVE sarging new people, the origonal tabboo about PU is gone, but the enjoyment I get from these fun interactions is still there.

Relationships have two sides, their are the deep decade long relationships, and the fun quick flirty ones that could last as short as 5-10 minutes.

Both have their own merit.. ..just depends what you want from life, this is why I hate questions like "who is the best PUA" or "Which is the best method?"

Is too vague PU has so many objectives from quote me "livin the sarge" to finding someone you want to spend your life with.

You can't grade PU on whether it'll make you happy, you can only grade yourself on whether YOU can identify and ultimately achieve what makes you happy.

PU is a skillset, not a magic potion, you have to put the effort in if you truly want to achieve your goals and you have to make the decisions if you want to live life the way you intend.

great post.

I would say 90%-95% of this is right on.
I have been guitly of some of that stuff. I remember one night i was at a bar and i was talking to my friend in "pick-up terminalogy" I said to him

" you need to number close that girl " and i said it a few times in a row over the course of a few minutes and finally he turned to me and put me back into reality.

" what the fuck do you mean close a girl? what the fuck are you talking about what is number close i dont know this code talk ".

especially since he is a natural anyway i came off as an unqualified weirdo.

I have taken a step back since reading the game and mystery method stuff and I can say that alot of the hype has died down for me. Im pretty much just into natural stuff right now and the biggest thing I have taken out of it is the SELF IMPROVEMENT aspect and the basics of mystery method. peacocking, DHV, neg. and overall just understanding what attracts a woman.

Lately i get most of my knowledge from the seduction skills section of askmen.com

it is fantastic stuff and not all program nerdy like mystery method and speed seduction NLP stuff.

I recommend everyone check out the author "player" at askmen.com



last i want to say that when are people going to wake up and realize the MYSTERY himself is a weirdo!!!!!! it is true that his method and knowledge of social dynamics is pretty good and i have respect for him because of that but c'mon.. look at some youtube videos of the guy.. hes a joke.



again great post

I know I worry about a couple of these, especially the skewed perspective with women. I'm afraid that I'll get married and the community will make me look down on the woman I am with.

Added on there should be a line about how the community can make push potential rapists closer to the real thing. I sarged with this guy who had these gambits that really bordered on sexual assault (ie going up and grabbing girl's crotch or ass for an opener). I told him, "That's not seduction that's a fucking crime." He told me that I didn't have the right frame and that women loved it. It was some scary shit.

Chill
Woman's Guide to Seduction

lol..well....did it work? or did get slapped in the face?

I think that everyone worries in some way that they are getting too sucked into a thing, but worrying about it is usually a good sign that you aren't falling too far in.

lmao thats sooo crazy, I always think of how valuable and life changing this information can be, I never ever thought there could be a negative to learning this stuff. I'm happy he posted this article cus I was starting to fall down the roads of a few of those problems mentioned.

The guy is spot on. I've always thought the whole PUA thing went way too far. However, I don believe there is some gems of knowledge that every guy should be aware of.

I certainly don't want to be a some guru. I think guys who place their social value to heavily on how many women they can hook up with are bigger loser than the shy guys who can't get laid because they are afraid to put themselves out there.

I certainly don't consider myself a soldier of the community either. I'm just a guy in the periphery that indulges some of the better articles.

Even being a member of this forum makes me feel kinda awkward. Nevertheless, I feel there may be something to be gained by interacting with others so I'm here for a test run.

Grounding but still Intriguing stuff, especially for me, just entering the community.

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Learning really is Profound

So true, also I am guilty of a good few of these and can see a few I did do but have gone past. I think the one about AFCs is probably the thing that pisses em off the most about the community, some weird idea that every single other guy is useless and PUAs are somehow super human.

I also think the bit about balancing your life is important too, there are several wings that I have met and thought, that is all they could be a tool to be used in the field rather than a friend or someone you could just chat to about day to day stuff.

but yar good post x

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I agree, in the end life is about balance.

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Very True, a lot of my friends seem to expect that this whole community is a magic bullet of sorts to become a sex god.
i reckon the most important thing is to just step back from everything once in a while, and not let this small part of life get blown out of proportion. meeting girls and getting laid is fun, but it's not the end of the world if it doesn't happen.

Yep, I have to admit I'm guilty at some points. Not always and not to this extreme but to be really honest, it happens sometimes Thanks for the post man.

_________________
What I like in life is nothing more but living it.

Massive props for finding this xfman.

The person who wrote this is obviously highly learned (either formally or most likely informally) in psychology and social psychology. Especially on a 'clan' or 'cult' mentality. As this article articulates the way any 'community' will function if given the right stimuli. I read into this not just the PUA community but almost any community around. Ever wondered how cults recuit (and surprisingly the world religions use the same strategies just toned down - mostly)? This is the reason.

Seriously amazing post, thank you!

When I joined this forum a few years ago I thought of many things as weird, such as, pick-up-lines, mystery method, reading a girls palms(wtf?), memorizing conversations/stories etc...

BUT, I was really excited about a few things:
* How to handle a relationship (the needy and "pussy" man could be a close description of me 3 years ago, now I can interact much better with girls!)
* Sexual improvement (need I say more... lot´s of good tips in here)
* Improve life in general (so many good hints on what to do, how to think etc)

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