One word…

Neediness.

Let’s go through some needy behaviors. If any of these apply to you…



Knock it off

First on the list…


“Gaming”

This, ironically, is one of the most needy behaviors of all.

This means quite a few different things too so bare with me…

Making a big deal about going out and talking to girls (i.e. “Sarging”)
Planning out what to say to girls to generate a particular response (Canned routines)
Studying what you should say to get a particular response from a girl
Listen, girls aren’t stupid.

Okay… well, some of them are. But they are all pretty damn intuitive.

They can smell the desperation in your actions.

You’re better off saying something TOTALLY STUPID and just owning it than you are trying to sound cool.

The next thing I’d say that falls into the neediness category is

“Validation”

This comes in a few different forms as well

Self Approval (Only feeling worthy when you have girls into you)
Family Approval (Pressure to get into a relationship from parents)
Friends Approval (Feeling like your friends won’t like you if girls don’t like you.)
These are all very unattractive places to come from.

Guys will seriously base their own feelings of self worth on whether or not a girl likes him…

Do you realize how much pressure that puts on the girl?

“If I stop liking this guy… is he going to kill himself?”

That’s not really a fun place to be in. I know this from personal experience as this is actually how most girls are towards me… They base their own self worth on whether or not a guy like me likes them, yet they find it needy and unattractive themselves. Interesting, isn’t it?

What does that mean?

Stop acting like a fucking chick.

Same thing with needing approval from your friends… really? Who gives a fuck what “Mark” thinks about your sex life.

Just make yourself happy.

The Family Approval aspect of it is starting to be more and more common these days among men… and honestly, rightfully so.

The amount of guys over age of 21 that still live under mommy’s rule is pretty disgusting.

If you get out of mommy and daddy’s house, they can’t tell you what to do anymore! (OMG! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!)

That means no more pressure from them like:

“So, when are ya gonna get a girlfriend?!”

And, you’ll have a shit ton more respect for yourself… Which will resonate with girls… making you less needy (in a whole bunch of different ways) therefore more attractive.

There are TON’s of needy behaviors that turn girls off. This is just touching the surface but tend to be the major sources of neediness. Please feel free to add other needy behaviors

So I seem to have a philosophical struggle with this.

See, I have done pretty much everything I care to do, that I can do on my own, that makes me feel good about myself. I have an applicable level of education. I made a lot of money by studying investing, and some luck. I used to do amateur cage fighting, and feel proud of myself, having won fights, and having some on DVD. I did a lot of stuff I feel proud of myself for.

Now, there are a lot of things I still want to do, that I can do on my own and be happy about myself for them. I am working on it. I will get there one day.

But I can't get laid on my own, that takes the consent of a woman. Or I guess I could do it without the consent, but, yea theres problems with that. The problem for me is, I DO need that attraction from a woman. I DO need that consent. If it were just my choice and my choice alone, I would have done it, like many of the other things I could do on my own. Bedding a chick requires that she approve of me, that she validate me enough to bang her. I do also struggle with the idea of a girl I attempt to attract not liking me. I often find women quite despicable really, and can't justify allowing a woman the chance to reject me, by opening them. If I do, its my own foolishness that is to blame if I am treated poorly.


How does what you are saying make sense, considering this?

Tangent threads are the best. Good stuff Majikal

Chappelle - I'm sure Majikal will agreed but Validation can be a good thing though, It's a massive motivator for one. If everyone was 'fullfilled' nothing would ever get done in life. Nobody would be rich, nobody would have 6 packs, everybody would be celibate hippies without the internet.

Personally i think you should scratch that itch. Get validated. There will come to a point where you have just done it and move onto the next thing and not care about about that last thing you used to obsess over.get validated till you're bored of it and move on to the next goal.

I would love to live the Dan Bilzerian lifestyle , famous, rich, adrenaline junkie, polygamous. But he is doing it from pure validation seeking. But there is time when one will evolve like a Pokemon but he doesn't care what The internet trolls, his family and friends says. He is living life on his terms that's the key. He also doesn't live with parents and sarge shopping malls.

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Good post, sums it up perfectly. 'Neediness', in other words you're being a bitch. A woman. A beta.


Some things I've noticed off the top of my head from friends and my own past experiences of fucking shit up... Well mostly my own fuck ups

Texting too much (facebook messaging). Texting should only be to setup dates, not for chit chat and making a relationship. I use to 'chase' a girl and send her a text with some bullshit 'hey, how are you?', only to see where I stand and if she still likes me.. And if she text back I would feel so happy and excited! Then I would continue to text and enjoy her attention, I was being a bitch. I wasn't assuming attraction, infact I was assuming she wasn't attracted which is why I was happy she even replied.. I was too scared to wait and let the sexual tension build. Now the only time I will text is to setup a date when we have our first 2 or 3 initial dates, or if a girl texts me I'll text back and set up a date ASAP. Fuck having text ping pong, I aint got time for that shit anyway.

One of my buds right now is constantly texting this girl and I know why he does it, because I use to do the same thing. I thought I had to talk more, text more, call more and be more witty to get her to like me. I would literally think of a 'witty' reply for an hour and try to say the perfect line back to her...
We met her fairly recently, and I noticed he was always texting, so I asked who his girlfriend was joking around, I see him a few days later and same thing. A few days later... same thing. He's become her 'guy girlfriend' or her fucking therapist or someshit. FUCK THAT.

Text to set up dates. If she doesn't text back, don't chase, wait for her to reply EVERY TIME.
Set the date up, go some where and hang, have fun and then lead for sex. 'Friends' don't date, people who wanna fuck each other do. So assume she wants to be intimate with you if you're on a date. Most of all have fun.

It's so counter intuitive but the GIRL should be CHASING.

Wanting a relationship before she does. You ALWAYS let the women bring up 'exclusivity' before you do. Until that time happens, you're just dating, having fun and hooking up. Don't even think about wanting a realtionship with her because it will manifest itself into your verbal and sub verbal communication. Women want to be free, they want to come and go as they please. When she's ready for exclusivity she'll bring it up.

I've come to learn that women are like cats. They'll come and go as they please, one minute they'll be jumping on your lap purring, then they'll get off, lie on the couch, disappear for awhile, eat some food, sleep, then after awhile the tension will build and they'll be back.

I think the moral of the story is don't be a pussy and back yourself that she's into you. Isn't it funny that a pimp doesn't give a shit what women think about him, yet all the women want him???

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Bite of more then you can chew
Then chew like hell

My Journey:viewtopic.php?f=22&t=192265

Yeah I agree.

Neediness is the most efficient attraction killer.

On a sidenote I think Dan's lifestyle would get really old really fast for my taste, but I'd do it for a while, no doubt.

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Success is all about one thing... Happiness.

The secret is, if a woman doesn't give you the validation, don't let her make you unhappy.

You're in control of whether or not you are happy. No one else.

All of us need and want, the difference is SHOWING IT! Majikal is right, neediness is the most unattractive trait to a woman.

Its ok to need that pussy, its ok to need the attention, its ok to need the love. ITS NOT OK TO SHOW IT!

I

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Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.

Nice

One of the most important things I've learnt since joining this forum is NEEDINESS. Eg: I have worked on texting and calling girls less, I don't care if I lose a particular girl, I have the abundance mentality and I find girls interest level spike up like rocket. I noticed majority of girls I've gamed keep coming back and wanting more attention.

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"Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own." - Bruce Lee

Word. Good for you. Wish everyone else would think this way too

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

Are you saying that you can feel something and a woman won't pick up on it?

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If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

YES!

As long as you are consciously aware of it and act accordingly.

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Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.

Good post

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"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? ... I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it."

cool article

Excellent analogy. I am starting to observe that myself. Just recently, I suffered a major setback which led me to put game/relationships aside for a while. I started to feel the need for human interaction so I tried to get back in the game. It seems my mentality started to change and I sensed I was becoming needy after reading my text messages of the women I was texting or chatting with. I was constantly trying to say the right thing to keep them interested but it just left me feeling shitty for not getting the responses I wanted.

My strategy changed. I began being less chatty with women and focused more on setting up one on one interactions. If they declined/made an excuse, I stopped talking to them. In the past, I would have probably thrown some bait out to keep in touch, such as a witty observation or something to get her to talk to me, but no. Pure radio silence. Pretty soon, these women start popping up out of the blue and asking me if we can hang out.

Overall, my social experiment is not complete, and I'm not bagging chicks left and right. On the other hand, it appears to be having an effect on the women I have been talking to, some of which I thought were lost causes. It almost feels like I'm building up my social circle to the point that I'm becoming much more fulfilled (i.e. Not needy) and the abundance mentality is starting to set in.

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