Alright fellas, keep in mind that my intent with this situation is long term, its not necessarily to bang ASAP, but to continue a bond thats been created between me and this girl the past few weeks. Here it goes.

So its been about 8 months since I got out of my 6 year LTR and moved back home. For the past 6 months Ive been getting out there, trying to improve my game and overall myself. Been in a bit of a recovery process after the destruction that ensued from my break up. Ive not been trying to get laid, its not my intent I guess, Im more just trying to find a girl that I have a lot of value for and mutual respect.

About 2 months ago, my 2nd cousin moved to my town with his wife. I barely knew them, I met him once like 10 years ago. They move just a few blocks down the street from me and start hanging out at my house. Really cool couple.

So his wife has a sister half her age, 23, whos been living abroad but is spending the summer here with them. A few days before she arrives, they tell me about her and are pretty much like "hey, she doesnt know anyone and needs a friend, but also we think you guys would hit it off". I have no idea what she looks like or is like, but I get a little excited.

She gets into town a few days later and the four of us all go out together for pizza and drinks. As soon as I saw her I thought she was incredibly attractive. During this first setting together, I understood how intelligent and well versed she was. I was totally smitten. We spent the about 7 hours together this night and exchanged numbers. Went very very well.

I had to go out of town for the weekend but came back and went over to their house the night I got home, we had some texting and a phone call while I was away. This night went amazing. We went out and she revealed how impressed she was with me. Told me she was nervous the first night we went out because of how much she liked me and how much we had in common, loved how confident and witty I was with her. We made out and I spent the night at her house just cuddled up on the couch. Got coffee the next morning.

The next 10 days or so go by and we see each other everyday. She meets my folks, we all have dinner together, etc. The night we hooked up she brought up how I should bring out my long game and her potentially staying here for good, and considering that I took it to heart and indeed was sure not to push sex. I showed her a lot of respect and attention.

She goes out of town for a weekend to spend time with her friends there, we have some text convo while shes gone. Well, as soon as she gets back, I sensed the dynamic had changed. She was not as responsive, wasn't inviting me over to the house, declined going out a few times in a row and just seemed more distant, but still a little interested. So my birthday comes around this week, and her and I meet up with my crew and we go out downtown.

My birthday night, she spends nearly half the time texting on her phone, was being very judgemental towards me (even admitted it at the time), and towards the end of the night her and I were sitting on the bar patio alone and I told her I wanted to talk about her and I. She siad alright and before either of us could really get any important dialogue going, our friends come out and sit at the table. I discreetly tell her lets go some where else to talk and she flat out declined. Its 2 am now and were all a little drunk and our DD drops her off at her house and then me at mine. When she gets out of the car, there was no happy birthday, no hug, not even any eye contact, just thanks the driver for the ride.

The next morning I wake up pretty bitter. Ive let girls do this kind of shit to my in the past and taken it in stride and not make them aware at how I was offended or hurt. So I call her to tell her I didnt appreciate her attitude or behaviorand she doesnt answer. I text her a short text about how I felt and she responds with an apology and that I am right and that she was being inconsiderate and that shes in a tough spot with not knowing whether she wants to stay her or go back to living abroad.

I tell her I understand that and want to talk more about it later on in the day because she was leaving to go out of town again, and she tells me that we need to give it a few days and once she comes back we will talk more about it. That was supposed to be today. I decided not to make myself seem desperate or too available and didnt contact her at all during the past few days shes been gone. Early this morning I drove by her house on my to run some errands and her car was there, so I know she is back now but I have not heard anything from her.

At this point, I still have no idea why she acted the way she has been since she got back this past Monday, and why she treated me like shit on my birthday. The only explanation she had was that shes unstable because of her recent break up and moving away from the country she was living in. Understandable.

However, I am sensing that she is either 1) Not as interested as she initially thought she was and no longer finds me attractive or 2) is playing hard to get and making me chase. I have no idea and have not been in this situation in YEARS.

Heres a few things I can say about her, the amount of congruence between her and I is sky high, we are both in similar situations in regards to our past relationships, and our interests are in total alignment. Were both intellectuals and have had conversations hours long with layers of depth. We've revealed all kinds of intimate details to one another that you only do with someone you have an attraction with or trust.

Additionally, she is very, very attractive. She came into my work and everyone saw me talking with her and asked about her, commenting about how cute and attractive she was. All my friends say the same thing. She s been traveling a lot the past few years and has over 1,700 images on her facebook, lots of them with other guys holding hands, sitting on their laps, etc. Shes hot shit, very social and overall seems to have a lot of people interested in her company. She is by far the most attractive girl to give me time of day.

All of this being considered, wtf do I do now? She told me she would talk to me when she gets back into town, which is today, and shes back. I havnt heard from her. Its been 3 days now since we spoke, shes been on my mind the entire time. Im afraid if I call or text her, Ill come off as desperate or pathetic. At the same time, Im wondering if shes testing me to get me to pursue her. How do I initiate contact without looking desperate?

Personally, I don't feel like she is playing hard to get. That is at the very beginning. You treated it like a full blown relationship after 10 days bro.shows no value for yourself or your time. She's like, "damn. 10 days and kid is putty in my hands. Next."

Should have gone cold way back. Make her earn it.

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agreed. you killed it by not pushing things ahead physically and pushing things too quickly emotionally. She wants to be sexually satisfied to be fulfilled in a relationship. I woulda gave her the dick a little earlier and displayed you can provide for her the feelings she craves. Emotionally she wasn't ready for attachment and stuff girls just want to have a bunch of fun with guys and when they think they found one that makes them happy (a little ways down the road) then they fall in love with them and they show you they want to be in a relationship. You didn't give her enough positive feelings by this point to be that "im hurt make me feel better" type shit. Also within a couple weeks gettin that butthurt about a girl who is just starting to get to know you? that won't fly with legitimate women.

take this experience and use it in the future to correct the mistakes you made so the next time a hot foreign chick comes around you do things more effectively.

At this point, you should've gone for it. As far as I can tell from the information you've given, you wouldn't have to 'push for sex' at all. Another makeout session on the couch and escalation would've done the trick. You should probably have escalated the first time aswell.




At this point, she has started to lose affection. From here on out, you have to give her space and not get needy.
It's probably too late for that. I understand that it's been a long time since you've been in this situation, but from the moment you started telling her that you felt hurt when she was acting judgemental etc. that was pretty needy, and pretty desperate.

At this point, you're best shot is to just distance yourself from her. Get out there, meet other girls, wait for her to contact you. If she doesn't, there were no hope of retaliation anyway, if she does, don't be as needy as you were.

Now that I've answered your question, here's a piece of advice: Move on. Oneitis is really bad for you if you allow yourself to get it as hard as you've done. So for you're own best do what Whiteboi said.

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Alea iacta est - The die has been cast